PhotoKate

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There have been a few ‘gates’ over the years. Cunters will no doubt recall the likes of Watergate, Irangate and Whitewatergate, not to mention our very own (much more recent) Party gate.

All of these are eclipsed however by the very latest bombshell to hit the news; a saga the like of which hasn’t been seen since the abdication crisis, and which has plunged the Royal Family and the nation into utter turmoil.

I refer of course to what I’ll term ‘Photogate’. In a calculated and cynical attempt to deceive the world, Princess Catherine issued a picture of herself and her children, wishing everyone a happy Mother’s Day. Immediately the media sensed that something wasn’t right. A massive investigation began, leading to a shocking, staggering conclusion. The image had been ‘altered’, leading many news agencies to withdraw it from circulation.

Just what the hell was going on? Clearly sinister forces were at work here, and a global furore erupted. Just what was the Palace trying to hide? Was the princess much sicker than we’d told? Was the ‘doctored’ photo hiding the fact that a body double was in play, Putin style? Did the original image reveal signs that the princess was part lizard woman? Has she been abducted by aliens?

A statement has now been released, claiming to come from the princess herself. This says that she’s an amateur photographer herself, and that she often ‘tweaked’ photos on her computer, which was the case here. It concluded with an apology for any confusion.

Pathetic and deceitful. This just won’t wash, particularly as the palace refuses to disclose the original picture. The ‘deep state’ is clearly at work here, and will resort to any measure to keep the facts from the people.

Well I say this. We are entitled to the truth. A conspiracy of silence will no longer suffice. The nation which survived the worst that Hitler could throw at us can take it, however bad it is. We should be told.

The Sun

Nominated by Ron Knee.

179 thoughts on “PhotoKate”

    • well the video aint her that’s for certain, saw the enhanced version on youtube, not that i give a fuck can’t stand the lying hoaxing bloated royal ticks, seen better looking birds in tarmac lorries

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  3. I honestly don’t understand the coverage about this.

    Who cares if she tweaked the photo a bit? I certainly don’t, and I doubt the majority of people did.

    If she spat on her hand and smoothed a calf lick down, like my Mum used to do, I could half understand people, but God Almighty! Must have been a really slow news day, you know.

    Nought about Putins fair re-election, war in at least two places that might threaten our continued existence, erupting volcanos and who knows what else?

    Find something newsworthy to report on, or get a new job. I hear there a vacancies for village idiots and turkey sexers.

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    • In all seriousness JP, it’s utterly bloody ridiculous.

      The lass posted a picture on line for Mother’s Day, and it’s provoked a meeja frenzy like the JFK assassination and the fall of the Berlin Wall.

      And they still won’t let it go.

      Madness.

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    • It’s another reason why the news is anything but these days. Local news is even more pathetic. All presented by camp androids covering pure fluff. Its become like something out of Demolition Man.

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    • Not interested in Royals or whether Middlearth is alive or dead but love pointing out the obvious, NO one “tweaks” a photo by replacing their own entire head with another one from an 8 year old Vogue shoot, replacing all their kids clothes for different ones, adding & removing hair and cutting off their son’s fingers to make him look deformed…all intentional acts that took many hours to do.

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  4. I want to know if she had edited pictures of herself being pissed on and fisted by Andrew I’m sure that Megan has done something worse, maybe they are in a competition to see who is the biggest sexual deviant

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  5. Ron, General.

    Good Evening.

    You’re not wrong, there.
    What about the current in-fighting in the HoC to oust Richi, because ALL the dismal performances in recent by elections is solely his fault, and absolutely nothing at all to do with the previous four PMs stupid behaviour?

    Oh, oh. The press run about like headless chickens ( there’s jobs for chicken sexers, too) to find something to distract us!

    Poor girl, I bet she’s starting to think she married into the Medicis.

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  6. Apparently Kate had an appendectomy. This is a convenient cover for the realsurgery: a Kuatoectomy. Clearly she’d had a Kuato growing on her stomach with the milky-eyed foetal countenance of Handy Andy.

    That reminds me, where did Thomas the Cunt Engine go?

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    • We think he got lucky, CP, and is currently, how can I put this in a delicate fashion?

      Pussy struck.

      I was going to say cunt struck, but that would’ve been crude.

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  8. I heard William is having or had an affair with Rose Hanbury, Marchioness of Chumley (!) and Kate can’t take it. 1/10 for believability, though 8/10 for gossip!

    I read a theory on X that Royals are disappearing as part of The Great Reset and the evidence is 1) Charles has cancer 2) Andy is consigned to never being seen in public 3) Fergie has cancer 4) Queen of Denmark abdicated recently and 5) Kate is nowhere to be seen (bit out of date that!) 6) Harry has exited from the Royal Family already.

    Love a good yarn me!

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    • Off topic and not apologetic in the slightest,

      GB news just had a story saying we will have flying taxis within 2 years.

      Why?

      Maybe the 14yr old girls of Rochdale will get air miles while being sexually assaulted by Abdul the pilot?

      Fuck me, taxi drivers are barely capable of driving a black cab never mind fuckin flying!!

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      • Woosh!

        That’s the pig just going past my bedroom window.

        Flying taxis, ha!
        What next?

      • Can’t even get EVs working right.

        Self driving cars? Would you trust one?
        Nor would I. You can shove flying taxis up your fundement. We aren’t the Jetsons.

      • Flying taxis you say, what could possibly go wrong?

        Reminds me a film that I found utterly disjointed, over the top, never understood and never want to, called The Fifth Element.

      • The Government want self driving cars on our roads in 2 years time.Utterly dangerous.🤡🤡🤡

      • The Fifth Element looked pretty good in the cinema. I believe its Moebius inspired designs and VFX pulled the carpet from under George Lucas’ CG heavy Phantom Menace a couple of years later. A lot of people i knew said how several earlier blockbusters of the nineties made ‘George’s Vision’ look quite shit and not revolutionary in digital effects at all.

    • Blimey, you’re right. That top picture looks nothing like her (and not much like him).

      It’s all getting a bit flaky…

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  12. Kate didn’t take the photo, edit it or publish it, fuck sake does anyone really believe she’s sitting about at night playing with photoshop? The Royals are run by a publicity machine that fell flat on its arse on this one. Hopefully it will spur them on to be more honest in the future.

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  17. The image used for Kate was a pixel perfect crop from a 2016 vogue magazine cover, professionals on YouTube made videos on them doing the process properly with the same photo and the kids were from a Christmas ood drive. Fishy stuff indeed.

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  18. Michael Gove will probably want the claims that Kate is dead classed as hate speech and a public order offence, the stupid little Pob impersonator.

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