Paul Hollywood

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What kind of publcity shy cunt has a surname like ‘Hollywood’?

The fat fucker ditched his missus and kid and fucked off with some yank bird. The cunt.

And while I’m on the subject, all hair gel, no substance is the phrase that springs to mind.

Fucking dribbly cunt.

Nominated by: Tony

Rihanna [2]

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Why’s this cunt not taken any top honours?
Lets do a checklist…

  • Shit songs – check
  • Fucking ugly cunt – check
  • Probably shagging some simian headed Polish cunt – check
  • Opens gob and put pours out all sorts of vicious non entertaining shite – check
  • Full of own self importance – check
  • Will be forgotten in 5 years time when she has to sell all her fucking shit houses ‘cos she’s a broke fucking degenerate cunt – check

Hopefully will get stoned and trip up, thereby breaking neck in the fall/process giving us all a break from her fucking general tediousness – hope so!

What a mothballing, pock marked old cunt. Fuck off!!

Nominated by: Hurling Dervish

Maher al Assad

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Crippled cunt and younger brother of Dictator Bashar al Assad.

The sadist straight man in the double act. A Dr Strangelove without the personality. Survived an asassination attempt which crippled his left arm and blew his left leg orf and by all accounts his bollocks with it. What the yanks would call “one mean maher”. A tosser that can’t toss himself. Time to blow his other leg orf.

The smart money has this crippled cunt behind the sarin gas attack which killed 1500 people in Damascus.

Video floating around from 2008 shows him filming dismembered corpses for his viewing pleasure after a prison riot was put down.

Has extensive dodgy business operations based in Lebanon.

Commander of the Republican Guard and 4th Armoured Division he is principle muscle man and enforcer for the regime. Rarely seen and works the dark shadows controlling the psycho squads responsible for the worst atrocities. Has HATE tatooed across the knuckles of both hands (but only one hand works now).

Crippled Corrupt Commander Cunt

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Adrian Chiles [3]

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Adrian Chiles is a cunt and total embarrassment to an already embarrassing England team. A pig ugly cunt who was once vaguely popular on account of people thinking ‘wow, what an ugly cunt, fair play for getting on TV with a boat race like that’ now the CUNTry says no, no more of this ignoramus. Fuck off pugface, stand down.

Get either some nice eye candy like Holly Willoughby to do it or a proper football expert like Terry Venables, or even the old half dead cunt Jimmy Hill (Oi Jimmy I nominated you for dead pool, hurry up you selfish chinny reckon cunt!).

Yeah Adrian Chiles deserves a good cunting.

Nominated by: London cunt