I see Rihanna has just been awarded a lifetime achievement award at some fucking music awards or other.

I mean come on, she’s 28 for fucks sake. She deserves a lifetime achievement award, as much as I deserve a fucking peerage.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

Why’s this cunt not taken any top honours?
Lets do a checklist…

• Shit songs – check
• Fucking ugly cunt – check
• Probably shagging some simian headed Polish cunt – check
• Opens gob and put pours out all sorts of vicious non entertaining shite – check
• Full of own self importance – check
• Will be forgotten in 5 years time when she has to sell all her fucking shit houses ‘cos she’s a broke fucking degenerate cunt – check

Hopefully will get stoned and trip up, thereby breaking neck in the fall/process giving us all a break from her fucking general tediousness – hope so!

What a mothballing, pock marked old cunt. Fuck off!!

Nominated by: Hurling Dervish

Dopey cunt sues Top Shop for putting her picture on a T shirt and then repeatedly sends her stylists into the shop to beg for free clothes.

What a greedy shameless little rich cunt.

Nominated by : Simon Coward