Ed Miliband [9]

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It’s funny how Miliband’s recent trip to Israel has suddenly washed away the atheist he’s claimed to be for years and jump started his Jewish faith. As Dioclese points out in his blog, he’s shown his ignorance by announcing that he wants to be the first Jewish PM. He’s a bit late for that, since Benjamin Disraeli has beaten him to it by about 150 years.

One of his best comments was his claim he was an atheist who had faith in God. Which to me at least shows what a dumb shit Miliband is, since the whole concept of atheism is that you have faith in the fact that God doesn’t exist. His claim was a classic example of the word ‘OXYMORON’. With the emphasis on MORON.

The best picture from his trip to his spiritual Motherland, was the one of him playing football with a Palestinian child. This was no doubt supposed to make him look like an ordinary, caring, man of the people, statesman. The look on his face though makes it clear that, along with beer, Ed also doesn’t do football.

To be perfectly honest, I’d rather see Bob the Builder as Prime Minister than this geeky, buck toothed, weird voiced, twat who looks like an axe murderer. The worst thing though, is if Labour win the next general election, we’ll get that evil, arrogant, egomentalist Ed Testicles as Chancellor. A man who makes Gordon Brown look electable.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

Maroon 5

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Maroon 5 are utter cunts!

Every Saturday our local has a bit of a disco near chucking out time… Some cunt always plays that “Moves Like Jagger” bollocks… The words are shit, the tune is shit, the video is shit, and the singer is a wanker.

Why not just play a Stones dancefloor filler? Get Off Of My Cloud, The Last Time, Brown Sugar, Miss You, Satisfaction etc.

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

Headphone users

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Best picture I could find of a cunt wearing headphones…

Nowt wrong with using the things in your own home. But when I see these cunts outside with them… I don’t mean small, or even the old Walkman type of headphones, I mean those cunts who parade around with those ridiculous things on that are bigger than Mickey Mouse’s ears (and are usually in ridiculous colours Dayglo orange or silver!).

Is someone really so thick as to wear a big and expensive item on their stupid heads in a city centre in broad daylight? Obviously they are. Don’t these pillocks realize that they won’t be able to hear anyone creep up behind them to nick their status symbol rich kid Disney ears?! Anyone who goes around with these stupid things on might as well have a sign on their backs saying “I’m a tosser! Mug me!”

Nothing screams “I’m a twat” more than going around a busy town with a pair of giant 300 quid, light-up headphones on your bonce…

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

Len Goodman

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Len Goodman – the simpering old cockney barrow boy done good who pollutes Saturday night prime time on Strictly Come Dancing.

He is the BBC’s answer to Simon Cowell,

Len is fucking cunt of the highest order. You only have to see him mince about on SCDITT like he is the nations sweetheart and not many people know, his catchphrase “SEVEEEEEN” actually relates to the age of boys he likes to teach to tango.

Inane, vapid, vacuous, cretinous, imbecilic cunt that he is!

Nominated by: Jabba the Slut

( Apparently his new wife reckons he’s shit hot in bed. She probably needs to get out more. Ed. )

Des O’Connor

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Des O’Connor is hereby nominated as a cunt.

Not for his musical cuntistry, but for the fact he has just given a character reference in Court to that vile cunt and sleaze merchant Max Clifford. Des says he finds Clifford “charming” which leads me to wonder who else Des finds charming – Harold Shipman? Piers Morgan? Iain Duncan Smith? Heinrich Himmler? What a fucking cunt.

Nominated by: Fred West