Top Gear [2]

Posted on March 16, 2016 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Surely it’s time to slam both Top Gear formats into the armco.

Jeremy “what d’you mean there’s no hot food I’m gonna punch some poor cunt” Clarkson, Blue Peter presenter candidate Hammond and Catweasle lookey likey posh nob May are well over due to be trailered to the scrapyard.

Each series pretty much the same as the previous. Rich cunts driving some cool cars in great locations, having a jolly up on my tv license fee.

Whether this forced Amazon defection is a success or not, I’m sure the audience is likely to be more foreign than domestic. Amazon fire stick! Fuck off.

Not sure the Beeb’s revamp will rock the viewing figures either. Ginger cunt Evans and his school boy humour is a sure fire reason to reach for the remote.

Nominated by: J R Cuntley

The new Top Gear deserves a cunting. Those far left cunts at the BBC, and their associates have had to grovel today, after performing donuts and other stunts at the Cenotaph. Every British adult in the country knows what the Cenotaph is, and what happens there every remembrance Sunday. So I find it puzzling, especially after what happened with that little shit swinging on a flag a couple of years ago, that anyone would think it appropriate to film some cunt fucking about in a high powered car.

This just proves, as if any proof were needed, how little respect the traitorous lefties at the BBC, and those who make TV shows for them, have for this country, and for those who died to give them the freedom to be the cocksuckers they so obviously are. I was willing to give Top Gear a chance, even with the ugly, arrogant carrot top, Evans hosting it. Now they can fuck off. And I’m not alone. A lot of former service personnel used to watch that show, they won’t be now, nor will a lot of other people.

The fact is, Top Gear worked because of the three hosts. And because, unlike other shows from the Blatant Bollocks Corporation, it wasn’t politically correct. In fact, it showed a lot contempt for PC, and those who live by it. Which is why Danny Cohen hated it. It’s a simple fact that the extreme left Danny Cohen despised Clarkson for his right wing views, and was looking for an excuse to get rid of him. It’s also a fact, that Clarkson stupidly allowed his ego to give Cohen that excuse. Cohen fucked up in thinking that he could simply replace Clarkson, and Hammond and May would go along with it. He was very wrong.

This new Top Gear will be a shadow of its former self. It has too many presenters for a start. Led by Chris Evans, whom I have yet to hear anyone say a good thing about. Evans is an arrogant little shit who genuinely thinks he’s God. It will be filled with similar things that the original TG had, only with a left wing slant to it. And that’s why it won’t work. Most ordinary people are not lefties. We’re not particularly righties either. We just don’t share the same dumb as fuck politically correct view of the world that the shitheads at the BBC have.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

I predict that the New Improved Top Gear will crash and burn (and hopefully Matt LeBlanc will lose his rag and punch Evan’s lights out)

Despite Clarkson’s constant baiting of motorcyclists like myself and general disdain for enthusiasts of vintage machinery (also like myself) I did enjoy Top Gear while it was on but we’ve just dispensed with the TV licence anyway so the Beeb can stuff the new version up their “collective” ringpieces.

I will however always feel the urge to boot James May up the arse for sending that Triumph convertible to the bottom of the English Channel…

Nominated by: Mr Bastard

Chris Ramsey

Posted on March 16, 2016 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Chris Ramsey is an unfunny geordie cunt who resorts to bullying and abuse when he gets found out to be failing at the one thing he pretends to be a professional at. That thing being comedy.

Fuck off you smug faced cunt. Look like he wanks over pictures of himself. Cunt.

Peace, out!

Nominated by: Cunt O’MaCunto

Flood Protection

Posted on March 16, 2016 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Flood Protection/Defence Agency needs the severest imaginable cunting, and an air enema of industrial strength.

Have just found out that we now have a major biscuit shortage, because United Biscuits in Carlisle was more or less wiped out. No more Bourbons for about three months, guess I’ll have to drink Maker’s Mark or JD instead… The FDA’s so fuckin’ wet you could shoot ducks off it.

Useless clap-infested cunts.

Nominated by: HBelinda Hubbard

Philip Hammond (3)

Posted on March 15, 2016 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Philip Hammond (Foreign Secretary) is a mega-cunt.

He moans at Russia, Syrian Govts. ally) for attacking anti-Assad forces as this helps ISIL, or whatever the fuck they’re called this month. He says fuckall about Turkey/Erdogan (our NATO ally) bombing the shit out the Kurds wherever he can get at them be it in Syria or Turkey, when it’s pretty much accepted that the most effective anti-ISIL force is the Kurds. Mind you Asasd’s a cunt as well (and Putin) , if he had any sense he’d make enough concessions to the Kurds that it would make his life a bit simpler.

Having said that bring on more refugee/migrants to UK, eventually – Tories love ’em because they push up the rents for their buy-to-let demographic, labour love ’em so they can nick their postal vote.

A plague on both their houses

Nominated by: Frottom

Dosser shite

Posted on March 15, 2016 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

The Good Lord ordains that what marketh man is his shite. Animal shite – unless it’s bear or pig – is generally cope able with. The human kind, orf which yours truly has vast experience orf is orf a different order orf foulness. Indian shite and particularly that that fouls the streets orf Calcutta is beyond the pale. In the Western Desert (8th Army, Rommel, that show) a good soldier learned to identify his enemy by his waste – Iti, Kraut, Wog, Yank (lots orf Yank but never near any danger) all distinctive. Hippy shite stands oit from from me days in the 60s in the Producer dodge organising festivals, particularly when mixed, as it so orften was, with mud and psychotic substances. In short I know me shite.

Orf a different order orf magnitude is dosser shite as increasingly evidenced in London, Manchester and many a South Coast toine. A veritable tsunami orf the stuff is deluging our once great nation. Glossy, brown and bloated, the sticky mucous coated crap is stuffed full orf parasites and drug resistant viruses. Indeed consider where it has been and what has produced it. Now try and get it orf your shoes without getting it smeared all over your hands and clothes.

The feral cunts squeezing their arses oit over shopping centres, public streets and people’s front gardens think they have the right to borrow a rat arsed dog with sad soulful eyes (I always offer to put the fucker doine) or hire a fake sand sculpture and beg for my money. Must declare me interest here. Do a spot orf lay preaching at me local church and have regular occasion to shovel dosser shite (see photos) oit orf our front garden. Call the Council? Fuck orf. No other cunt will touch it.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke