eBay [3]

Posted on by

This might not be news to many of you, but it certainly was to me.

A few days ago 4 blokes from Humberside Police knocked on my door with a search warrant. They wanted to search my home because Ebay had flagged up my name for buying chemicals on their site. These cunts sell me the chemicals and then tell the police I “could” be up to no good with them in THEIR opinion. I actually use these chemicals for battery science at home.

I’m a 65 year old white male who doesn’t even have a “Peaceful” surname.
They left red faced after 4 hours looking like the total cunts they are.
Ebay will not reply to my emails.

I would suggest that everyone knows what the cunts at Ebay are up to and purchase your items elsewhere. Even better contact them on euinvestigations@ebay.com and demand to know if you are being monitored. Even better contact your local MP and demand to know as there is nothing in the cunts terms and conditions to this effect

Nominated by Paul Rogers

Gary Lineker [8]

Posted on by

God this cunt can’t miss any opportunity to stroke his gigantic ever increasing ego! This Twittering pontificator from luvvie bubble central will now be presenting the World Cup drawer for Moscow (cunt competition).
“What???!!!” you say! “Not Gary Lineker!? Surely not?!”

Not, Fifa make me feel sick, I’m revolted at the top level corruption, it’s run like a dictatorship Gary Lineker? Surely not?

You mean awful, self parodying in a knowing way, Walkers crisp Gary?
“I’ve got to strip to my underpants “reluctantly” on MotD Gary?
Working for BT whilst being paid by the tv tax Gary?
Smug “National Treasure” a bit like cunt Stephen Fry, Gary?
Loves the sound of his own voice Gary?
Offshore tax Gary?

The same Gary that dumped his wife for a vacuous model and then morphed into an unrecognisable, shiny-faced, trimmed goaty, husk of his former self Gary?
He scored goals for England therefore he must be a good ‘un Gary?
Hypocrite Gary? Him?

Yep that one.

Nominated by Oliver Reed

British workmanship

Posted on by

Breaking news

UK newest aircraft carrier built at a cost of £3,100,000,000 leaking after less than a month. Taking on 200 litres of sea water every hour.

Surely we would have expected at the very least that the ship would be seaworthy and watertight, this surely being a prime requisite for the job in hand?

FFS, can’t this country get anything right?

What fucking useless cunts.

Nominated by Willie stroker

Self Entitled Graduates

Posted on by

Apparently not only should we be prioritising those with a degree, but we should be making a special allowance for single mothers with a degree. Sorry – if you choose to pop out a sprog and the father skips the light fandago out of existence then that is, sad to say, not the responsibility of any employer with regards accommodating your demanding flexible needs, and/or childcare.

Perhaps we ought to add this social problem to Blair’s already overloaded tab of cuntitude because after all, this silver-tongued demon did come across all evangalicunt about ‘ed-u-cashun’, and how University was for EVERYONE. No lub, it actually isn’t. Simple supply and demand – if we now have a plethora of grads holding certs in stuff like Biblical Studies, Town Planning and Transport Operations, and good olf Business Administration, then what jobs will they be walking into exactly?

Yours truly was a graduate during the peak fucking Blair years, and I had to pay my fucking dues for years after my graduation without question – no sooner had I doffed the cap then I was working in a waste plastics factory, then a fitted kitchen showroom, then a call centre before getting my money together and being able to move to where the professional jobs were in my field. Some hard graft and no mistake, but without the option of daddy’s millions, it was always understood to require more work than just grappling with library books.

These days, no fucker post-Uni wants to put in the hard yards. And the sorts of cunts you see within Question Time audience, crying that their 2:2 in Applied Underwater Basketweaving from Teesside University has landed them on the side of the ‘have-nots’, typify this level self-entitlement perfectly. These days it seems to be an aspiration for ex-students to both look, and behave like Corbyn.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

Popular culture

Posted on by

Popular culture – what a load of cunt.

Music –Aimed at 12 year-old girls. Bland, repetitive, lacking excitement. Boy bands, girl bands and endless female warblers like Bouncy, Swift, Perry , Adele. Then we are presented with the phenomenally untalented Harry Styles and his solo career. Fuck me it was thin enough in his fucking supergroup of Cowelised, autotuned posers. Add in assorted rappers who actually think they are musicians and the picture is complete.

Film- Seems to be aimed at 12 year-old boys. Superheroes, cartoons. Batman vs Superman for fucks sake. Disneyfied, soppy, cloying animations for pre 12 year-olds and fucking Romcoms for post 15 year-old. Are no films or music intended for grown-ups anymore?

TV – Endless fucking badly acted, poorly scripted identikit soap operas. The whole ITV output is dire. The reality shows are not just targeted at window lickers, it is necessary to actually lick the window while watching.

Right-on shite and right-on shite comedians.

Everywhere you look popular culture has reached rock bottom. Until they think up more shite.

Nominated by Cunstable Cuntbubble