The Daily Express are cunts…
I know that papers now resort to barrel scraping tactics in order to get noticed and clickbait… But the Daily Express actually using a ‘Google maps show aliens’ headline (online) is taking the piss…
Featuring ‘pictures’ of an ‘alien’ sunbathing in a deckchair?! I know The Express isn’t great, but since when did it become the Sunday Sport?! Does the cunt who wrote that ‘alien’ bollocks actually get paid for doing it?! Cunts….
Nominated by Norman
I would like to nominate Black Friday sales for a retail cunting.
This used to be one day (a Friday!) when benefit scrounging scumbags would queue up outside Asda at five in the morning to fight over an Alba TV reduced to tuppenny ha’penny because they’re shite. Brilliant footage of people actually punching others to get this bargain tat.
Now, though, all companies have jumped on the Black Friday bandwagon, free delivery, prices not cheaper, get it before Christmas etc, and the sales last at least a week.
So it is no longer a one day Jeremy Kyle audience fest, it’s just another pre-Christmas sale, but with an American title attached.
Amazon, Currys, all the others, you’re cunts, money grabbing no morals cunts, and I hope your cocks drop off, wankers.
Nominated by The Bournemouth Red.
Now any cunter knows Black and White cunt loves a bargain but this Black Friday bollocks is a cunt… Even worse than ‘Cyber Monday’.
What kind of cunt queue’s outside a shop all night to be the first to buy a Polaroid television, or outside Ikea to get some chipboard coffee table for a tenner? A cunt that’s who and a cunt who doesn’t realise the shops actually put some old (when the product was first released) price on it and then say it’s 70% off.
What a piece of cunt.
I’m gonna get black friday stopped on racist grounds unless they have ‘White Monday’.
The cunts.
Nominated by Back & White Cunt
Damn it, I know it’s an easy one. But still we can have fun with this – I nominate robert mugabe for a merciless cunting.
Just a few quotes to whet the appetite:
“The only white man you can trust is a dead white man.”
“I have died many times. I have actually beaten Jesus Christ because he only died once.”
“I am still the Hitler of the time.”
Let’s not forget all that murder stuff too, kicking out farmers, asking us to pay for them, asking them back, asking for more money, bit more murder stuff, you know.
Gosh it must be jolly difficult being quite so awesome.
What an utter, utter, prize cunt. May his retirement be peppered with real, visceral fear for his life on a daily basis.
Nominated by Cuntflap
News that has gone up its own arse
Bugger me butler, at a time in our history when there is more news aboit than ever and more ways to report it – 24hr rolling news all with updating news tickers at the bottom plus internet ect ect – there is actually less reported news than ever. Bath went oit the window with the baby with the coming orf satellite and digital TV and all these bastard channels. All cunts.
All showing the same stuff at the same time taking the same interminable live feeds. Get fed up waiting for some camel shagging cunt to get taken oit in Paris, turn to another channel and it is the same scene, still nothing happening. Same cunt showing worldwide. And now it’s time to see what the papers say – all say the same thing so sod that and change channel, exactly the same cunt on the other side and the other side and the other side. Same with the sports segment and the arts segment and bugger me, the actual news. Paedos, latest MPs sleeze, groping at the BBC, doom orf Blighty following Brexit. Johnson and Patel (what a double act) having “secret” meetings ect ect all orn at the same time and in the same order. Over to Russia Today and the commie cunts are at it too. Bugger me-ski.
Do believe that if Yours Truly got me old arse stuck in the Kharzi that would make the interminable news 24/7 as well. There was a time, in the days orf three channels (and no cracks cunts because me first tv had just the one channel and God that spinning disk was a cunt), when news had integrity and your intrepid reporter actually came up with something original and exclusive. The Current Affairs programmes such as Panorama (now a pale imitation) and This Week and Man Alive and World in Action had some balls.
Fake News is not the danger orf the day, that’s Old News.
Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke
P.S.Me first telly if you cunts want to take the piss. Obviously not digital but wish I still had it. Worth a fortune.
I’d like to cunt the craven cowardice of most of the British people. Whether it’s failing to stand up for themselves when a corporation tries to fuck them over, or bending over and letting left-wing fucks utterly spoil our once mighty country through immigration, unnecessary taxation/wastage, they make me sick. If I may, I’d like to distill it down to just one person: Campbell Millett. This utter pussy represents, in a nutshell, the utter cissiness of many regular people. He was walking his dog off lead and when approached by council jobsworth cunts, he rolled over, trembled like a Frenchman in a thunderstorm and gave them his details, resulting in a £75 fine.
Here’s the story (sorry, don’t know how to do links)
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5042497/Man-walked-dog-lead-fined-75.html
I’d like to think that any cunter on here (at least one who could actually look at himself in a mirror and not be ashamed) would’ve told them “My name is Mr FuckYou and my address is 123 FuckYou Street. Then walk off. These utter wankstains have no power over any Englishman who’s not an invertebrate.
No doubt we’re all guilty of not being as brave as we’d like, at least when young, but as I get older, I get magnitudes more irascible year on year, a sentiment doubtless mirrored by many folk here on ISAC. As an aside, is there anyone here (apart from half of black & white cunt, of course) who isn’t a white, middle-aged Anglo-Saxon?!
Nominated by Thomas the Cunt Engine.