Dead Pool [331]

Congratulations to Shit Cake Baker who correctly predicted the death of the legendary US standup comic and actor Bob Newhart who has died aged 94.

On to Deadpool 331

The rules.

1)Pick 5 famous cunts you think will conk out next.Its first come forst serve and you can always be a cunt and steal other peoples nominations.

2)Anyone who nominates the worlds oldest man or woman is a cunt who should be ignored.

3)It must be a famous cunt we have heard of.

4)No swapping picks mid pool unless your picks has already been taken.

5)Hits are awarded based on chronology of death reporting not necessarily chronology of death.

Labour [28] / Border Control [7]


Five minutes after being elected to form a government, and the dinghy wallahs are celebrating how easy it will now be for them to enter Britain.

MSN.

Is it any wonder when the new PM says he will abolish the Rwanda plan on day one, the only deterrent we had?
Sir Keir has been given a nickname by the filth in France that roughly translates as, “A man who works for refugees or workers”.
He certainly works for scroungers who call themselves refugees, but workers? No!
The days when Labour stood for the British working class are long gone, and now they represent themselves, immigrants, and hysterical protest groups. In that order.
With the French elections looking like a right wing government will be elected, who will not tolerate foreign filth in their own country, expect uncontrolled immigration to start right now.

Coming to a place near you. Courtesy of Liebour.

Nominated by : Duke of Cuntshire

Lily Allen [18]


Lily the mong.

Bored of singing and noshing immo cocks in calas, the member of the showbiz dynasty Allen family has joined onlyfans.

Good grief you say, don’t worry there’s no pictures of her ironing board chest and dropped kebab vagina.

For the low, low price of £8 a month you can marvel at lily’s plates of meat/feet.

Jesus wept, how sad and pathetic must you be to pay for that sight..

I do hope the proceeds of this venture are going to the migrant vermin she loves..
It would be fun to watch them squabbling over the £24 profits..

Sky News

Nominated by: Barry zuckercunt

Seconded by: Fuglyucker

Seconded, what makes this deluded slag think anyone is interested in seeing or hearing any more of her than we already have, it’s the Internet fault for allowing talentless fuckwits like her to get air time….. Pass the sick bag.

England’s Wank Voting System


England’s wank voting system, Reform got more votes in total than the Lib dead yet the Lib dead get 71 fucking seat’s whilst Reform has 4. This system is really shite. Utter fuckwittery of the highest order. Well old Keir has 5 years to prove himself and his party or it’s arse kicking and the same old bollock rumble on and on and on.
On watching the news it seems some MPs have held their seats not the correct thing to do under poo labour and their lgbdfrtybcsehk diddler policies. Fuck them all

Nominated by : Black biscuit

Seconded and linked to by Sam Beau:

Seconded.
Stats here … BBC News.

And not to be out voted, here’s Ron Knee with more:

Britain’s ‘First Past the Post’ Electoral System.

*Deadline 5th July 2024*

FPTP is a cunt.

It’s unrepresentative of the popular will in the country, and means that millions of people, in effect, waste their vote simply by voting for the candidate of their choice when the election is decided on a constituency-by-constituency basis.

Oh we’ve all heard the tired old arguments from the two main parties for donkey’s, about how proportional representation leads to instability in government. But consider these few basic statistics from the 2024 general election;

Labour; 33.9% of the vote, over 400 seats
Reform UK; 14.3% of the vote, 4 seats
LimpDicks; 12.3% of the vote, over 70 seats

Once again, the system has handed a huge majority to one of the two main parties on a minority of the popular vote. Here we have the LimpDicks polling less of the popular vote, and winning over 60 seats more than Reform UK. How can a system which produces such a distortion ever be consider fair or democratic?

Under a proportional representation system, it’s estimated the Reform UK would have over 90 seats in the Commons today. I voted for Reform UK with my head as well as my heart, knowing that my vote would count for fuck all. What actually was the point in even bothering to vote?

Well it’s time for my vote to mean something, a sentiment which I’m sure is shared by millions of others feeling disenfranchised this morning. Fuck Labour and the Tories and anyone else defending the indefensible that is FPTP.

Manchester Evening News.

*NB update*

Reform now has a fifth MP

With a final dodgy postal vote coming in from Rt. Hon. Dioclese:

In the aftermath of the General Election we are blessed to have produced the most disproportionate result in UK electoral history.

We now have a Labour government with two thirds of the seats elected on a third of the vote. This means that two thirds of the people who actually voted did not vote Labour and 4 out of 5 people eligible to vote did not vote Labour. In what way is this landslide therefore representative of the will of the people in a free democracy?

The LibDems got 71 seats and yet got half a million less votes than Reform who got 5 seats. In what way is this fair?

And worryingly 5 muslim independents were elected on a pro Gaza anti Israel platform. Apart from the fact that Hamas is a proscribed terrorist organization who started the Gaza conflict with acts of indiscriminate murder, they garnered less than 200,000 votes between them and got the same number of seats as Reform and one more than the Greens.

One thing is clear : the first past the post system is grossly unfair. Of course while the two main parties have a system that guarantees that we live in a two party state nothing will change.

And an electoral system that is inherently unfit for purpose will continue to guarantee that the electorate will never get the result they actually want…

BBC News.

Religion (5)


Hajj – or whatever religious equivalent is applicable.

With amusing regularity, this seems to happen every time a few million cretinous zealots simultaneously try to reach some shit-hole to do whatever the fuck it is they think they need to do when a tract of their religious fairy story instructs them that`s what they should do, on a regular basis.

Here`s a recent example …

BBC News

It seems to me your `God` is trying to tell you something.

You mental cunts.

And long may it continue!

Nominated by: Sam Beau