Football Co-Commentators

Football Co-Commentators

Co-commentators in football are overdue a well deserved cunting. These irritating fuckwit arseholes, most of which are also pundit cunts, ruin the match with their inane drivel and use of overused cringeworthy footballing cliches. As if it wasn’t already bad enough having to listen to shite analysis before and after the match as well as at half time, you also have to painstakingly endure a further 90 minutes of utter codswallop from the likes of Andy “Squarehead” Hinchcliffe, Danny “Jobsworth” Higginbottom, Kevin “Camp Bastard” Davies and all the other retired overpaid monotonous football tossers with nothing better to do than plague our viewing experience with their nonsense.

Every match I, as well as millions of other poor sods, have to endure this utter abomination week in week out. Old overused cliches, stating the fucking obvious and boring pointless chatter about irrelevant shite is what we have to put up with for the duration of the match. No one gives a flying fuck about your playing days of what you had on your toast for breakfast. Also, there is no need for your ‘expert analysis’ as I don’t need to be talked through the events that are unfolding. I’m sat here bloody watching it for christ sake I don’t need to be talked through what I’ve already seen with my own fucking eyes you useless git. What is the point in having two commentators anyway? You only really need the one cunt at the absolute max, having another giving us their view on things and conversing with the main commo is too much to bear. The shit that comes out the mouth of the co-commo gets me riled up more than if things are going against my own team. The same recycled cliches and their irrelevant shite opinion all the fucking time. Arselicking the ref by saying “it’s the right decision, he’s got that one spot on, for me. He brushed his boot lace, you can’t be doing that I’m afraid. He’s let his team, the manager and the fans down there.” Shit like this makes me want to drive to the stadium, locate the gantry where this fat cunt is sat and viciously assault him while shouting cliches at him. These overpaid and overhyped imbeciles need to be sacked immediately and taken behind a shed and shot.

Co-commentators, you are all cunts!

Nominated by, Jayniño

 

Knock off Phones and cheapskates.

Newcastle student paid hundreds for iPhone X box filled with CONCRETE in online scam.Omar tried to buy an iPhone X online but only realised he had been the victim of the fraud after handing over £650 for the empty box.”
****************
I’d like to Cunt people who are too greedy to see what would be obvious to most people.

These people who think that they’ve won a lottery that they haven’t even entered,or buy a £1000 phone from some dodgy Cunt on ebay,or respond to an email from Prince BlueGums of Bananaland offering $1 million if they supply their bank account details, etc.
I’m aware that some old people get caught up in these scams,and have a modicum of sympathy for them,but often their family say that they hid the letters so nobody was aware of what was going on…Well if they were sufficiently compos mentis to hide the evidence,they must have also been sufficiently compos mentis to realise that everything possibly wasn’t ticketty-boo.

As for the just plain naive and greedy,well, Fuck them,they get what they deserve.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

Poetry in adverts

 

GiffGaff and Nationwide, I’m looking at you, you cunts.

The latest Nationwide one doesn’t even have the fucking decency to rhyme properly! Some gurning old dorris, sitting smugly in her conservatory, regaling us with a tale of how her mother gets “so excited [by football] she can’t watch it on TV any more”.

You’re not John Cooper Clarke, love. Put a sock in it and fuck off.

Apparently, the use of poetry is to “differentiate” themselves from other ads. This must be some new meaning of the word “differentiate” that I wasn’t previously aware of because, as far as I can see, they’re all fucking at it.

These adverts don’t make me want to buy into the product, they just stir in me an overwhelming desire to eviscerate both the hipster cunt who came up with the idea and the pointless waste of DNA who’s performing it. Nationwide even took their cuntitude to new heights and set poetry to music (although I use both words in their loosest possible senses) with the egregious Flo & Joan.

Maybe I’m an old cunt but I think adverts have gone downhill since the pinnacle of “Are you open Yeti?”

– https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRo2X9jrFi8

nominated by, Thirkleby Spunktrumpet

 

Sir Patrick McLoughlin

Nominate Sir Patrick McLoughlin MP, the biggest cunt you’ve never heard of. This almost invisible politician was Minister of Transport in Oct 2014 and decided that Car Tax would no longer be transferable on sale of the vehicle. So when I sold a car last week, and registered the sale on the DVLA web-site, the tax was instantly cancelled, neither I nor the purchaser could legally drive the car until we’d fucked about taxing it again. What a fucking performance, completely unnecessary and one month has to be paid for twice – nice one Pat, cunt.

Nominated by, Mananaan

then an additional comment by Lord benny.

I would like to add to this cunting, having recently moved my Girlfriend registered her car at the new address, she received a nice new V5 and a refund on her car tax because despite ticking the change of address box they decided she was the “new owner” and canceled the car tax!
so pay double bubble yourself for one month!
utter cunts!!!!

Afua Hirsch [3]

Afua Hirsch and other White hating race baiters are deserving of a cunting. For anyone who doesn’t know, Hirsch is a mixed race, half English half Ganaian bitch, who is a writer for the Grauniad, Lawyer and Human Rights cheerleader. She made headlines and caused outrage in August last year for calling for Nelson’s Column last year on the grounds that Nelson was a white supremacist who supported slavery. What? Fucking what?

The statue was erected because Nelson was a huge naval hero, who died while fighting the French. His political opinions were, and as far as I’m concerned, still are, irrelevant. He saved this country from Bonaparte, THAT is why he has a huge statue. White supremacy? No, Nelson lived during a time that Britain was an almost entirely white country. No diversity, no multiculturalism or any other of that kind of bullshit back then. He was one of our greatest warriors, and he was honoured as such.

Now, thanks to Hirsch, Historic England are going to be holding a debate on whether to keep statues of people like Nelson, Cecil Rhodes etc, or to tear them down. This PC bullshit has become so prevalent in politicis, the arts, sport etcetera, that I was not in any way surprised to hear that Historic England was planning this shite. What really grinds my gears though, is that Historic England are supposed to be the custodians and caretakers of ALL monuments in England, and as a publicly funded body, it is completely outside of their remit to be holding such a debate.

It’s a sign of how much the far left have infested the public sector that Historic England would even consider holding such a debate. Tear down Nelson’s Column? The very thought is preposterous. Yet there are plenty of people on the left who would be happy to see it happen. This is no different to what happened in the US last year, when a number of statues of prominent Confederates were torn, despite large protests, including many black people.

I’m sick to the fucking back teeth of British hating cock gobblers, especially black and mixed race cunts, telling me that I should be ashamed of the UK’s history, and that I’m subconsciously racist, and got where I am through ‘White privilege’. First of all, FUCK YOU!. You don’t know me, how dare you make that accusation. Secondly, the fact I’ve been happily married to a black woman of Nigerian descent since I was 19, nearly 26 years, should be more than enough proof that I am NOT racist, subconsciously or otherwise. Not that I need to prove it. And third, I enlisted in the British Army at the age of 16. I worked my way up the ranks, from Gunner to Major, through sheer hard work and determination. How did the ‘White privilege’ you cunts accuse us White people of having, benefit me in anyway?

On top of that, my wife and I played the stock markets for many years. Consequently, we’re now in a great financial position. We’re not millionaires, but we are lucky enough that neither of us, at the age of 45, has to work. So called White privilege didn’t get us that, it was hard work and trial and error. When we started on the Stock Markets, we didn’t have the first fucking clue what we were doing. We learned, the hard way, how to make money out of it. And we lost a fair few quid in the process. I resent ignorant cunts, particularly the likes of Hirsch, who was born into a well to do family, telling me I got where I am because I’m White.

My dad worked as bus and coach driver, my mum was a school dinner lady. I went to a state funded school, like the vast majority of people. I didn’t get the chance to go to Oxford, like Hirsch did. I’ve had to work for what I have. And I’ve had to work fucking hard. In what way, through my working life, could I possibly be described as ‘privileged’, because of the colour of my skin? I’ve earned what I now have.

For the past few years, it’s become increasingly trendy for lefties, especially those who are non-White, to accuse the majority of the British people who are White, of being privileged, because we happen to be White. And they are often aided by soppy, self-hating, middle class White ass lickers, who demand that we apologise and be ashamed of, the actions of our forefathers. Well, I refuse. I absolutely fucking REFUSE, to apologise or be ashamed of events that I am not responsible for.

I was not involved in slavery. But a lot of black slave traders made a living out of it, something that lefties ALWAYS conveniently ignore. I had nothing to do with building the British Empire. In fact, the Empire was dead by the time I was born, in 1973. I have done nothing to be ashamed of, or apologise for. And my ethnicity certainly hasn’t helped me in way. In fact in this day and age, it’s a definite hindrance.

White privilege is a myth. It’s a lie, perpetuated by middle and upper class lefties, who hate the British and feel ashamed to have been born into genuine privilege. And by some Black people, who like to use White people as a convenient scapegoat for their own shortcomings. It’s a fact that in 21st Century Britain, the worst thing you can be, is a White, heterosexual male. We are the root of all evil. We are to blame for the majority of Black and Asian people living in ‘ghetto’s’ and not having any chances in life. Except, that’s a lie.

The fact is, young Blacks and Asians get far more chances to succeed than White youths. The BBC recently advertised internships for young people from Black, Asian or other ethnic minority groups. Young White people were not allowed. Despite a large number of protests and accusations of racism, the BBC pressed ahead. And that’s only one example of the public sector bias that now exists. Black and Asian youths have more chances to succeed now than they ever did, often at the expense of White youths. The reason that many Black and Asian youths DON’T succeed, is because they don’t want to. Even when they get chances handed to them on a silver platter, they’d still rather sit back and blame ‘Whitey’ for all their problems. I’m not saying that all White youths are different, many are just as lazy. But these days, the only people Black and Asian youths can blame for not succeeding in life, is themselves.