Baby On Board
Someone please explain to me why some cunts find it necessary to announce to other motorists, by means of a plastic sign from Halfords, that they have a “Baby On Board” their vehicle.

To these cunts I say – What in the name of infinite cuntititudity makes you think I should give a fucking shit ?

Does it make you feel safer for yourself and your (most likely equally pointless spunk-sample in post-coital form) offspurt, whilst driving in your customarily fuck-witted fashion ?

Are you simply attempting to project your own, obvious, inadequacy behind the wheel onto me ? Do you think that just because you drive like a cunt when your child is not in the car, that I do as well ?

Or are you of the opinion that I should pay more attention to the road than you, because you have an infant in the car who requires all of your attention, regardless of the fact that you’ve decided to get behind the fucking wheel of a potentially lethal piece of machinery and attend to your sprog at the same time ?

Or are you just showing off that you’ve miraculously pulled off the hitherto impossible and finally persuaded some standard-free slapper to actually have SEX with you ?

Either way – I couldn’t give a fuck, you cunt !

Nominated by, Cunt Reviled

Manic Street Preachers are cunts…
From piss-poor Clash tribute band to stadium rock bores, these tossers have always been crap… But one could forget what actual total cunts they were back in the old days… They looked like complete twats and they acted like twats too… Coming out with shite like Axl Rose, James Dean, and Marilyn Monroe were their heroes, and the totally pretentious and laughable things they did in order to get noticed… That little fucker who vanished was particularly a proper and spectacular cunt… From him covering himself in Superslag Monroe tattoos, to cutting himself to get attention, to actually singing and playing absolutely fuck all on any of their dreadful records… I saw a book on these pricks when I passed HMV in Manchester today… The cover can be seen below, and I’m sure you’ll think what I thought: Weren’t the ‘Manics’ a bunch of 42 Karat cunts?….

Nominated By Norman

What cunt thought this one up?  A program designed to steal your personal information from Facebook! (as opposed to them selling it to whoever) so that they can get their own marketing list or worse (details of every cunt you hate)

I do wonder. Shit like this makes my piss boil

A lightweight cunting for school reunions.

A friend a few years older has received an invite to a 20th school reunion and is fretting like an old woman whether to go or not. I have told him it’ll be no more than a grown up pissing contest, who has the house, job, flash car or married well. If Facecunt is a yardstick then they are all middle class execs, 2.1 kids and a nice semi but in reality are probably divorced, overweight with one too many kids and type 2 diabetes.

Reality isn’t Hollywood, the once fit secret crush is now a frumpy housewife, geeks are still geeks but minted after investing in Bitcoin or some bollocks and the hard lads are probably doing a stretch. You see your mates because they are your mates but school is just circumstance and there is a good reason you haven’t seen the rest in twenty years.

Nominated by.Liberal Liquidator

Living Statues are tedious, talentless cunts, aren’t they.

The first glimpse of Spring and I’ve already seen a “Living Statue.’ If you’ve never seen one (lucky you), they’re “artists” who dress up/paint themselves as something famous, stand still on a plinth and expect you to place money in a hat.

No, that’s it. That’s all they do. Sometimes it’s intriguing for a second or two while you work out just how they’re “floating” but it’s either a drab, dull answer or you feel the breath of a pickpocket on your neck.

I actually used to approach them and appear to be dropping in a nugget, but then freeze, mid action. I’d hold the pose and watch them squirm a bit before fucking off, chuckling.

Lazy bastards.

Fuck me, at least do something! Move, dance, busk, sing! Anything! Don’t just paint yourself gold with a wreath on your head and stand like an twat expecting coinage.

‘Artist’ my arse! Bone-idle, indolent cunt, more like.

nominated by Captain Magnanimous (neighbourhood watch sandford)