The Jolly Green Drummer.

This down-market, Ed Sheeran ginger-minger look-alike, which dresses head-to-toe in shamrock green, is a monumental cunt, a noisy cunt, a cunt so devoid of imagination that the only thing remotely musical about his desperately sad “act” is the seemingly obligatory ghetto-blasted backing track.
I have not had the misfortune to endure anything so unmusical since that hook-nosed sack of shite Campbellend was espied buggering the bagpipes outside the Liebore Pardee diversity wank-fest in Brighton. Just avoid his patch, opposite the Principality BS in Queen Street, Cardiff.
If I were dictator, I’d allow the Noise Abatement Society a shoot-to-kill permit.

Did I mention that he is a CUNT ?

Nominated by, HBelindaHubbard

however HBelindaHubbard at least he is not a living statue.

What is it with women and mobile phones when they are behind the wheel of a car?
I spotted at least five of the fairer sex today whilst stuck in traffic. Shifty furtive glances down to their laps, eyes wandering around, then a quick glance up to see if the car in front has moved, then eyes down to check faecesbook or whatever shit is on the screen in their lap. Repeat this action at least half a dozen times until the jam has cleared and traffic flowing.
They must think we are all fucking stupid and don’t know what they are up to.

‘I know I’ll hide the phone between the legs when driving, I won’t miss that important faecesbook or Twatter update… A quick look down won’t hurt every now and then’…

Now not to condone it, but at least white van and delivery drivers have the thing to their ear or go hands free when in transit.These fucking women are NOT taking or making important life or death calls, and anyhow can’t a call wait till safe and legal, as the saying goes?….these witless bints are most likely on the return leg of the school run and are just checking antisocial fucking media, nothing that can’t wait until they’ve stopped driving their  6 tonne killing machines around the place.

Cunts the lot of them.

Nominated by. LeonardoDiCunty

The British Legal System

It turns out making a joke is actually an hate crime. If you do make a joke please be certain to ensure it is not edgey in any way. Make your jokes are benal, vapid, inoffensive and not fucking funny in any way whatsoever.

TAKE NOTICE; if you joke about any of the following you will be arrested, fined, potentially jailed and prayed upon by almost every limp wristed liberal retard mogoloid cunt in twitter shot…

Jews; nazis; rape; black people; brown people; wimminz; any religion ever (there is an exemption for jokes about protestant Christians provided they are white and male); eastern Europeans; western Europeans (again exclusion is in place for the only people on the planet that have a sense of humour- Englishmen and our international kin); emos; gays; trans-genders; trans-black people and anything that is mildly offensive to THE MOST EASILY OFFENDED GENERATION IN HISTORY. Which is a moving target by the way. They invent new things to get offended about quicker than a bloomberg terminal receives market data.

Oh year, definitely don’t teach a dog to do hitler shit. That single act of hatred will cost you 800 quid and is guaranteed to lead to a slippery slope that ultimately can only result in the deaths of millions. Scientific fact.

Get fucked.

Cunts.

nominated by, Fuckwit

Walkers Crisps are cunts…
Apart from their sickening association with that smear of slime, Lineker,
these cunts are bigging up their ’70th Anniversary’ and telling all and sundry that they have always produced the most popular crisps in Britain…

Absolute lies and utter bollocks… Golden Wonder and Smiths were the most popular, and both are still available… Walkers, my arse…

Nominated by. Norman