Key fobs.

I am going to nominate a key fob

Now I was given a key fob by an acquaintance. we all like to please and use the gift given.
I took my car down the car wash big mistake, next thing you know it’s tumbleweed time, they all fucked off leaving partially washed cars and yours truly high and dry with a dirty car.
However I must admit I did this on purpose after the first reaction at my local kebab shop.
Pulled up went in ordered my food , the guy at the counter spoke to the cook popped out the back for a fag and 15 minutes later no kebab and no staff.
The reason as far as I can tell would be my key fob.

It says “home office border agency” they are available on e-bay (item number listed below)<

However don’t buy one unless you are willing to wash your own car, have a barbeque and don’t like curry!

Nominated by Lord Benny

Gladstone Brookes ad

That menacing cunt who tells you to call Gladstone Brookes…..NOW…to see if you are owed some PPI money as a refund.

“Why” he asks in a hectoring tone “have you not contacted Gladstone Brookes?”

“Don’t you know there’s a time limit?” the cunt asks in his best ‘talking to the peasants’ who know fuck all voice.

Fuck off you smarmy cunt!

Nominated by ATTILA THE CUNT

Elaine Douglas and Tommy Brooks

This was on the BBC (they even had enough space on the day when Trump came to the UK) therefore these people must be Uber cunts and I mean UBER CUNTS.

I’m not going to write anymore but If this don’t make your piss boil then nothing else will.

Nominated by Cuntsince1066

Douglas and Brooks, two Jamaican nationals of no fixed address, were put up in hotels for almost a year and handed pre-paid credit and travel cards, all paid for by the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea. Douglas and Brooks were also both housed in the Radisson Blu hotel in Kensington.

Douglas claimed a total £67,123.35 of relief intended for victims of the fire. She spent 276 nights in the Radisson Blu in Kensington, costing the council more than £55,000, and spent more than £11,000 on a pre-paid credit card she was given when she complained about the hotel’s food.

Brooks claimed £58,396.89 of relief and stayed in the Radisson Blu and another hotel for 243 nights. He also spent more than £9,000 of charges on a credit card.

And here’s the punch line : The court heard Brooks and Douglas had managed to avoid immigration authorities for 16 years after entering the UK illegally in the early 2000s. FFS!

Brooks was sentenced to three years and three months in jail, while Douglas was sentenced to three years. So that’s three years in a nice comfy bed with three free meals a day thrown in at the taxpayers expense. They should deport the cunts back to Jamaica and make them serve the sentence there.

Nominated by Pedantic Cunt

Lisa Armstrong

I would like to cunt Ant McFartings soon to be ex wife. This typical bitch has done what most bitches do when a relationship ends for whatever reason [usually due to them being insufferable cunts], they make your life a misery, spend your money like it’s going out of style, withhold sex, let themselves go so you wouldn’t wanna fuck ’em anyway, and then as soon as he could do with some support and it looks like his career is up the swanny she’s out the door quick as a flash.

She then gets a solicitor to try and take poor old Ant to the cleaners, even wants the fucking dog,and generally wont be happy until she’s picked him clean.

Then this gold digging tart gets her arse in her hands when he moves on and finds the next Mrs gold digger, so typical ex wants the fucking air that you breath and still wants to make sure you can’t be happy.

So stick with it Ant, even though you get on my last nerve I’m with you on this one. Don’t lie down and take it in the arse just yet. It will be over with in 4 or 5 years and then the cunt will apologise and want to be friends.

Nominated by fuglyucker

The BBC [18]

I’d like to nominate the BBC for yet again appeasing the do gooders etc. All shortlists for senior roles are to include one ethnic minority.

What the hell happened to you get the job, if your qualified enough. Simple as that. And where does it stop…do all “traditionally” female roles now need to have at least one man shortlisted and vice-versa.

It’s positive discrimination as eluded to in the post about the winner of Britain’s (not) Got Talent. All the ethnics, disabled people, gays, women in traditional male roles and men in traditional female roles will have that nagging voice in the back of their mind telling them they’re only in their job to fulfil a quota and not because they’ve truly earned it.

Nominated by McCunterson

I have to nominate this list of cunts having just read the BBC rich list and I could not believe some of the names on it and what they are paid FFS. Not one of these cunts is worth the money, the list is populated by football taking morons, a newsreader who just does fuck all except read from an auto cue, and the faded wannabe Nicky Campbell who drones on about religion to a TV audience of about a hundred and to top it all a wrinkly prune faced old crone who does fuck all except bake cakes, and Norton who just sits on a chair and talks about himself to his guests, Vine who is the loony lefts mouthpiece on the radio, Nick Grimshaw even his listeners can’t stand him. Most of the rest I have never even heard of

Gary Lineker – £1,750,000-£1,759,999
Chris Evans – £1,660,000-£1,669,999
Graham Norton – £600,000-£609,999
Steve Wright – £550,000-£559,999
Huw Edwards – £520,000-£529,999
Jeremy Vine – £440,000-£449,999
Nicky Campbell – £410,000-£419,999
Alan Shearer – £410,000-£419,999
John Humphrys – £400,000-£409,999
Nick Grimshaw – £400,000-£409,999
Stephen Nolan – £400,000-£409,999
Andrew Marr – £400,000-£409,999
Ian Wright – £170,000-£179,999
Emily Maitlis – £220,000-£229,999
Amol Rajan – £200,000-£209,999
Mary Berry – £190,000-£199,999
Katya Adler – £170,000-£179,999
Ian Wright – £170,000-£179,999
Sarah Montague – £160,000-£169,999
Rachel Burden – £150,000-£159,999
Tina Daheley – £150,000-£159,999
Jane Garvey – £150,000-£159,999
Simon Jack – £150,000-£159,999
Fergal Keane – £150,000-£159,999
Sarah Smith – £150,000-£159,999

Jesus Ian Wright and Alan Shearer paid a small fortune for taking shit about football and of course, Lineker top of the BBC gravy train for being a football-talking cunt.

Nominated by iamnot

Posted in BBC