Keith Richards

Keef Richards is a cunt…

I know Jagger gets all the bad press and a lot of fans blame Mick for turning the Stones into a brand or a corporation… But Keef can also be a cunt and his double standards are quite something… Richards is almost entirely reluctant to credit or acknowledge Brian Jones… Keef , at the Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall Of Fame, paid tribute to Ian Stewart (and said that the Stones was Stu’s band), but he did not mention Jones (Jagger, however, did thank Brian on the night)…

Keith still insists that Stu founded the Rolling Stones by himself, when everyone else (Bill Wyman, Charlie Watts, Andrew Oldham, Glynn Johns, and even Stu himself) said that Jones formed the band and was their leader in the early days… Keef also never shuts up about how Brian took an extra five quid earnings as ‘band leader’ in the early days, yet he has ‘no regrets’ about going with the predatory Allen Klein or waxing lyrical about dodgy customers and unpleasant people like Tony Sanchez and Freddie Sessler… He views them (and other two bit thugs, smackheads, and dealers) as ‘characters’ but he views Jones as a cunt… Jones was (according to Keef) a rotting attachment, but he loves talking about doing cold turkey with his beloved Gram Parsons?…

That Ry Cooder taught him open G tuning story in 1968 is also bollocks… People around at the start (Dick Taylor, Paul Jones, James Phelge, Dick Hattrel) all say that Brian Jones taught Keith open G, only Brian did it on a slide guitar… Ian Stewart and Mick Taylor also complained about never getting any credit in the Stones when it was due… They, alongside Brian and Bill, are part of a very exclusive club… Former Stones road manager Sam Cutler summed it up: ‘People don’t realise what -to put it bluntly – what cold cunts Mick and Keith can be… You serve your purpose then that’s it.. It’s like you suddenly don’t exist’….

Nominated by Norman

44 thoughts on “Keith Richards

  1. He has the face of a 47 year old Dorris from Hull who has smoked a pack a day for 30 years.

    How this cunt is still alive I have no idea. Must have switched from injecting heroin to stem cells into the vein on his cock.

    • Stella Street always genius!! Creative gold-dust even to imagine the likes of Jimmy Hill and Roger Moore entering an old fashioned corner shop and being served by Jagger & Richards. The mannerisms are spot on too- especially Jagger. Brilliant!!

  2. Townshend vindicated:

    “Hope I die before I get old
    Talkin’ ’bout my generation…”

    • Then he got old and decided to pay an online membership to a child porn site – “for reference” he pleaded – nah, the court didn’t believe him either and stuck him on the sex offenders register. Had Moon the Loon been round he may have topped him.

      • Ignorant cunt hat I am, I didn’t know that. Pity, rather respected the guy before you mentioned it. Another one bites the dust…no, don’t tell me.

      • I suppose Do You Think It’s Alright / Fiddle About from Tommy sums it up!

        I’m your wicked Uncle Ernie
        I’m glad you won’t see or hear me
        As I fiddle about, fiddle about, fiddle about

        Your mother left me here to mind you
        Now I’m doing what I want to
        Fiddling about, fiddling about, fiddle about

        Down with the bedclothes
        Up with your nightshirt
        Fiddle about, fiddle about, fiddle about

      • ‘Fiddle About’ was actually written by John Entwistle, who incidentally was abused as a child. He also wrote ‘Cousin Kevin’.

        Townsend’s subconscious is probably better represented by these excerpts from his song ‘A Quick One (While He’s Away):

        My name is Ivor,
        I’m an engine driver
        Please take a sweet
        Come take a walk with me
        We’ll sort it out
        Back at my place, maybe
        It’ll come right
        You ain’t no fool, I ain’t either
        So why not be nice to an old engine driver
        Better be nice to an old engine driver

        It’s like a dream to be with you again
        Can’t believe that I’m with you again
        I missed you and I must admit
        I kissed a few and once did sit
        On Ivor the engine driver’s lap
        And later with him, had a nap…

        You are forgiven, you are forgiven
        Forgiven, forgiven, forgiven, forgiven

        (repeat ad nauseam)

  3. ‘ what you done with those tins of cling peaches? ‘ brilliant comedy stella street was.

  4. Looks like he’s been dead for a month. I could never understand why some people think Keith Richards is a good guitarist , he’s fucking shite. I thought the Stones were great during the 60’s , Brian Jones looked fucking cool and contributed to their best material . They never turned out anything good after Sticky Fingers except Angie in 1973.
    I started to read his Autobiography and what a boring self obsessed cunt he is, endlessly droning on about how high he got and referring to his women as ‘chicks ‘ I don’t think Brian Jones even got a mention in it.

    • With open tunings, even Abu Hamza could play stones songs. He’s fucking rubbish.

  5. Very interesting post Norman, and one which I enjoyed. I was not aware of the in-fight with Stewart and his association with some pretty unpleasant cunts like Sessler.
    I was a fan of the Stones for years, and particularly of the early years with Jones on lead guitar. Richards was never a great guitarist ( good writer ) and fell in the shadow of Jones who had the versatility and persona of a star.
    Is Richards a cunt, never thought so until now…..

    He’s a cunt!

  6. Take it from an old cunt with dabblings in the muso biz. Break-ups and lack of recognition are always about money. Successful bands are always fearful orf some early cunt coming oit orf the woodwork and demanding a royalty. Defence and agent’s advice? Say nothing and do not recognise them, make them prove any claim. There could be a hot hustle legal team scouring every public statement and piece orf paper going back decades. A piece orf a popular song 40 or 50 years later could be worth millions.

  7. As far as I’m concerned, Keef might as well have carked 40 years ago. The last Stones album I bought (and retained) was ‘Some Girls’. Had all but given up on the pissers after ‘Goat’s Head Soup’. Could not believe how pathetic ‘Black and Blue’ was.

    ‘Exile On Main Street’ was the last great one imo… so following 6 years of mediocrity ‘Some Girls’ came as quite a surprise. But it was a fluke and a one-off.

    Would have been nice if Jagger Richards had gone down in the ocean after that, lost without trace in their private jet, travelling to or from one of their various tax havens.

    Instead they pulled a train with Justin Trudeau’s slag of a mother. Wonder if his papa was a rolling stone…

    • Rumoured that all were. ( Margaret Trudeau stated ( and was reported as saying) “I would have fucked with them all “

      • Fucking slag. Take away the fame and money, and you are left with a bunch of skeletal wankers that look like smack heads. When that hashtag me too bullshit started, I thought it was all the slappers owning up to to all the dick they sucked for fame or infamy, or cash. If someone said I had to fuck some wrinkly old hag to get ahead in life, I’d either do it, and accept it as a necessary evil, or say shove it up your arse. They had a choice, fuck them.

  8. Splendid cunting Norm and well observed.

    Mrs. Sparkletone and I went to the Rolling Cunts exhibition at the Cuntchi Gallery on the Kunts Road a couple of years ago. I was particularly looking forward to seeing a few Brian Jones items, or maybe Mandy Smith’s quim stained panties…but no…it was all Mick Mick Mick this and Keef Keef Keef that…here’s Keef’s bollock hair from 1968, or Mick’s prize turd from his schooldays.

    Only a grudging mention of any of the other band members, and scant regard to Brian Jones. Maybe I was naiive to point of stupidity to expect anything else but I can away shaking my head in disbelief at what a colossal pair of cunts Mick and Keef are. Hope their cocks drop off.

    • Since around the time of Exile, Richards has resembled a decaying cadaver.

      As noted by a poster above, there has been little original material since Exile or even Angie. The Rolling Stones machine has been about nothing but the filthy sponnies for at least the last 35 years.

      Jagger and Richards the Turd feel they owe no debt of gratitude to Jones. Their view is that their partnership outgrew Jones. It seems that the money they have made since his demise somehow, in their piggy little eyes, makes his past involvement insignificant.

      A great cunting for a great big cunt.

  9. I’ve always questioned some rock stars drug use. Went to school with a few fellas who (while being as poor as church mice) indulged in a few cans of special brew a day, chased up with a few grams of Afghan bisto. All dead now. The only 70 yr olds I know all worked for the council or the coal board. Was a tough job but someone had to get the pension.

    • Aye. The only reason some of my old acquaintances lasted as long as they did was because they couldn’t afford to go any sooner… if these old stone cunts really were bitten by the devils thirst, with their funds, they’d be 40 years stinking in the ground by now. Just clever marketing.

  10. It’s interesting to compare the above picture with a shot of Boris Karloff from the 1932 version of The Mummy.

    He went for a little walk…

  11. 2 aspiring architecht’s nicked for murdering an autistic 7year old..

    FUCKING SUB HUMAN SCUM.

    • Lies Krav… I heard they were trainee heart surgeons on theit way to a pharmacology convention. You been reading that fake news again?

      • I would put a month’s salary on these being a pair of dindu nuffins.

        Day werz tornin dere lives around, nomesayin?

  12. Yep Jones- Taylor years were the best and produced their best music, after that they became a joke their last 4 albums were shite.

    3 Jones albums Aftermath, Between the buttons, Beggars banquet, 3 taylor albums Sticky Fingers, Exile on Main st and Let it Bleed was their best imo Also of note norm last christmas rolling stone had a special on brian jones where Keef gave a rare thanks to Jones probably paid the cunt to say something nice knowing Rolling Stone Also Keef calling it stu’s band was most likely a jab at brian

    • Stu himself admitted that Jones formed the band… And although the album is now not viewed favourably Brian was all over ‘Satanic Majesties’… Jones saved tracks like ‘2000 Light Years’ ‘We Love You’ and ‘Citadel’ with his mellotron work… Also – contrary to Mick and Keef myths – he is also all over ‘Beggars Banquet’… The only track Brian doesn’t appear on is ‘Salt Of The Earth’… As Mariaanne Faithful (way far fitter than that Pallenberg slag) said, Jones was fired because they wanted him fired… A long campaign of being frozen out and dirty tricks (not even recording what he played etc) forced Brian out of his own band… Even Sam Cutler (road manager), who had no love for Brian. said that Mick and Keef were ‘cunts’ to Jones… While Bill Wyman’s ex, Astrid Lundstrom, stated that Charlie and Bill were cowards who let Mick and Keith bully Jones and did nothing to help him…

      What fucks me off about Keef is he still has a problem with Jones, yet he boasts in his autobiography about all his jailbird pals, how Allen Klein ( a major cunt) was beneficial to the Stones, and eulogising junkies like Bobby Keys, Gram Parsons and the very unpleasant Freddie Sessler… What a cunt…

  13. Back at my old job today.Had riot police and ambulance crews in today and get a bollocking from a boss who does nothing but criticise.The sort who turns up throws her fat are around yet contributes tuck all and makes objectively bad decisions herself.Cunt.Glad my contract is bank.Pulled faces when she was bollocking me. don’t care she wants to sack me good luck finding cheaper cover and someone who actually wants to make a difference.I defied her orders afterwards as what she was saying was not only Cuntish and dumb but objectively dangerous.Let us talk rationally to someone so dangerous the police were called on them.If listening to her means going to hospital on a stretcher she can fuck right off.I don’t have much to lose.My home is safe.I have no one to provide for.Fuck it.

      • Give her hell shaun, spare no mouthy whore who gets in your way give her the boot up her arse if she doesn’t apologize to you

  14. Drunk as a skunk right now, finally got my booze today, decided to get evan williams bourbon. Fyi jack daniels is not proper bourbon ffs! despite what fanboys tell you. That extra 3% alcohol did the trick I think… reminds me of the first time I got wasted I’m a virgin drunk again 2 king sized mint juleps and a wheat beer that fiddler recommended and I’m fucking slooshed already lol

    Was gonna get bushmills dick but it was a tad too pricey for my current wallet situation same with Makers mark perhaps next time I can afford it

  15. Keef’s constant reverence of Gram Parsons is also quite sickening… Always moaning about Brian Jones missing Stones gigs (he actually only missed about 12 out of about 930), and also giving Jones as little credit as possible… Yet he thinks Parsons is a ‘card’ and waxes on about Gram being on the smack and then shitting and pissing themselves during cold turkey… Also (in his autobiography) Keef says the Parsons made the Byrds great and that they were a silly pop band before Gram joined them… Total bollocks, of course… The classic Byrds (McGuinn, Crosby, Clark, Hillman and Clarke) were one of the finest bands of their (or any) time, and Gene Clark was the man…. Someone should play Richards ‘Younger Than Yesterday’ or ‘The Notorious Byrd Brothers’…. And as for Parsons inventing ‘Country Rock’ I’m sure Gene Clark (if he were alive) and even Michael Nesmith would have something to say about that…

    • Agree mightily – As a Byrds fan ‘Sweetheart’ was a real disappointment. Apart from the excellent Dylan penned opening track ‘You Ain’t Going Nowhere’ it was pretty much pure country shit… a big let down following the promise of ‘Notorious’.

      Got back on track somewhat with ‘Dr Byrds And Mr Hyde’.

      • I don’t think sweetheart of the rodeo was a bad record imo, although if you go into the album hating country I could see why you wouldn’t like it creampuff. It definitely has a heavy country pop sound to it that some fans didn’t care for

        5th dimension, YTY and notorious byrd brothers was no doubt their best tho no argument there

      • Agree, by no means a bad record TitSlapper. But so heavily dominated by Parsons it might just as well have been a solo album. Tried over the decades to get into it. Just not Byrds enough for me.

        Btw, I loved Dylan’s Nashville Skyline, so not wholly averse to the country sound… and liked the first Burrito Bros album. And Eagles Desperado…

        PS: Untitled is a very underrated album.

      • Agree, RTC… McGuinn and Gene Clark had more talent in their arses than Parsons had in his whole anatomy…. And Crosby was the dynamite element that all great band need… Notorious is one of the greatest albums ever made….

      • True. And Gene Clark recorded some fine solo albums.

        McGuinn, Clark & Hillman had their moments too.

        So much talent in all those cunts.

  16. I cunted him a couple of mumfs ago but didn’t make the cut.
    If you read his book “Life” you’ll get the picture .
    Drugs, couldn’t give a fuck attitude and do whatever you like, has been his modus operandi since he first made it.
    I don’t mind his success and I honestly don’t give a ff about the people he’s fucked over.
    What I do mind is the press and the spin doctors making him out like some sort of rebel hero and composing genius.
    Most of the stuff he and Jagger came up with is just rudimentary three chord tricks, they learned very quickly that once you’ve laid it down, you just send it off by email to the best producers and musicians throughout the world and get them to turn it into something special
    While they’re waiting for the finished product , they snort coke, mainline heroin and fuck whoever’s available in the mansion they are trashing .
    Come to think of it , it’s not a bad gig if you can handle it.
    Let’s face it , he was in the right place at the right time, talented but no more talented than a million guitarists at the time. But by fate he was surrounded by fixers who could clean up after the unending trail of train wrecks he has left behind and he hooked up with a couple of musicians who had some idea of what they were doing.
    Despite all that I quite like the story of a council house derelict getting lucky and hitting the big time. Ole Keef is a cunt alright but he’s our cunt.

  17. In his defence, I read his autobiography a while back. I’ve read Jagger’s too. I’ve also listened to both their trio of solo albums. Keef’s first is brilliant, second is so so. Third is crap. All three of Jagger’s are shite. conclusion? Neither of them is much good without the other.

    Having said that, the last Stones album is crap.

    Jones was a fucking prima donna. Fame went to his head and there were occasions when the cunt went AWOL and missed gigs. If he hasn’t died he would have been kicked out. And rightly so. Cunt Keef if you like but let’s remember that Jones was an even bigger cunt.

    • Talk Is Cheap was a fine album… And although Jones could admittedly be a cunt and he did miss gigs, Keef could have destroyed the whole band had he been jailed on heroin charges in Toronto and he left Jagger to do a lot of work by himself as Richards was ‘strung out ‘ in the 1970s… And the way Richards sees Jones as a cunt, but praises sharks like Klein and Sessler? Andrew Loog Oldham is the same… He has kind words for every criminal, dealer, and two bit thug he ever came across, but none for Jones… And why does Keef insist that Stu formed the Stones when everyone knows Jones did? It’d be like Bono saying Dik Evans founded U2 (when Bonio and every fucker knows it was Larry Mullen)… And although Stu is now eulogised by Keef (Mick, to be fair, doesn’t milk it and go on), I don’t think he (or any of the others) made too much (if any) noise when Loog Oldham jettisoned him from the Stones line-up… They can worship the man all they like, but the bottom line is they sacked him…. So that makes them all cunts, doesn’t it?….

    • Yeah Jones was hardly a saint, but I think drugs and anxiety went to his head rather then fame He was still young keep in mind so of course he had a ego problem

      Sure Jones never wrote full songs but he was a skilled instrumentalist, something that is vital to to have in a band He also helped craft stones best songs

  18. And Andrew Loog Oldham? Now, he was the biggest cunt of the lot…. As Pretty things frontman Phil May put it: ‘Loogie was a right fucking bastard and an absolute cunt’….

Comments are closed.