Awards Ceremonies

Yep. It’s that time of year again. Take yer pick between them. Oscars invariably preceded by manufactured controversy over some unheard-of cunt “comedian” upsetting the easily offended. Well you can have Fry instead but don’t forget to distance yourselves pronto the moment that your old chums Spacey and Wankstain hit the buffers you toadying cunts.

BAFTA? Embarrassingly over-recognises the worthy-but-tedious UK nominees or finds the most tenuous of British connections all at the expense of more deserving winners who are invariably not bothered to attend either. Look out for that hideous mouth-stuck-open Olivia Coleperson this year (if you can be arsed)

The Brits. What a pile of shit handing out awards to the endless stream of here today/gone tomorrow load of shite. Rag n Bone Man? Stormzy? Who the fucking hell are they? Who the fuck cares?!

And all of the above fawned over by the usual virtue-signalling audience clapping away like performing seals bedecked with the latest ribbon or badge to display their “right-on” credentials.

Nominated by Isaac Hunt

I

“I’ve been wondering what that special place in hell looks like for those who promoted Brexit without even a sketch of a plan how to carry it out safely,” Tusk said.

Donald Tusk.

What a full weight prick this guy is. Says “There’s a special place in hell, for Brexiteers who haven’t planned a safe way to leave the EU” (paraphrased, but if you read the quote it’s the same). Looking at the evidence, there isn’t a safe way to remain in the EU with self important, unelected, wank stains like you Donald.

When pushed, these dildos in suits really do show their true colours, and with no repercussions of course, as you weren’t even elected by the public.

Leaving all other evidence aside for leaving or remaining, just the sheer arrogance of people like Tusk should make you question, ‘Do I really want a man like this governing my laws and regulations’?

The answer is no, do you fuck!

Nominated by Elboobio

Emergency cunting for Donald Tusk, quoted below:

European Council President Donald Tusk has spoken of a “special place in hell” for “those who promoted Brexit without even a sketch of a plan of how to carry it out safely”.

Apparently Tusk is European Council President although I don’t remember voting for this office.
Firstly, Tusk is obviously rattled that the ‘negotiation’ that was dictated to May has failed miserably and the prospect of No-Deal will hurt the EU more than the UK.
Secondly, no Leave campaigning politician was involved in the negotiations. Davis was supposed to be but had no powers and was too fucking idle to do anything about it. Negotiations were carried out by Remain Mavis and Remoan Whitehall.
Thirdly, the cunt Cameron who should have had a plan B fucked off to his Wendy caravan when the shit hit the fan.
So what has got to Tusk? Surely he wont be blamed for the half dozen or so EU economies that will nosedive with No-Deal? It is a rule that EU officials are responsible for fuck all.
Or is it just that he is a bureaucratic, undemocratic cunt?

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGH-0J5fAv0

MONTY DON

Is a cunt.

I hardly ever watch the I’m-so-triggered-that’s-really-problematic contemptible safe-spacery that is al-BBC-eera any longer. Yet whenever it turn in on, without fail I encounter this self-regarding, effeminate spunk-trumpet.

Possessing stratospheric levels of narcissism despite having a face like a derby winner, it doesnt take this limp-wristed, wine-quaffing ponce long to get over his fashionable episodes of depression and start spending the taxpayer’s money on business class jollies to the South of France so he can wank over a privet hedge for half an hour.

So far in the closet he’s having afternoon tea with Mr.Tumnus, he is another half-witted,simpering star in the constellation of lamentable players of the pink trombone who infect our screens.

Nominated by Ted O’Noggis

Clodagh McKenna is my nomination, and what a cunt she is.

Ever heard of her? Nope, neither had I until this morning when I woke from my slumber to find my missus watching Sunday Brunch, which for the record is a load of bollocks in itself.

Mckenna is a narcissistic, attention seeking, extroverted harpy, who, rather than sticking to cooking, that of which she is on the show to do, decided to spend the entire duration of her air time trying to be as annoying as possible.
I wasn’t alone in my loathing, I had a gander on SB’s Twatter page to find tons of people in disapproval of this fucking wench. Unsurprisingly, there were just as many, if not more, who thought her mad-as-a-box-frogs approach was “mental” and “funny” – these people, like Mckenna deserve to have their stupid faces caved in with a piece of heavy mining equipment.

Nominated by Lord Cuntony

Can we please bring the cuntfullness down on Ex Prime Ministers. These cunts did fuck all when in power, but now the cunts believe they have an opinion that anything other than a fucking lobotomised amoeba would give a fuck about.

Just seen John Major giving his pearls of wisdom about Brexit, then you have old fucking cyclops Gordon Brown who was to politics what Sooty was to fisting.

Oh, and let’s not overlook and under cunt the prick that is known as Tony Cunt² Blair, who, for whatever reason still believes he is entitled to oxygen.

Surely to fuck, with over 66 million people in The UK at the moment, you would think we could find some cunt to lead the country who is not devoid of the basics in life, like shitting unaided.

They need to go to a place where they can all live in their happy little pond life brains – maybe something like Cunstantinople

Nominated by DryItchyCunt