Nish Kumar

Nish Kumar.
Champion ‘woke’ comedian. Poster boy for the cunty, boring, permanently offended new comedy scene.
He recently flounded like a salmon seizuring, on Question Time. Go watch it’s amazing.
Also he’s responsible for The Mash Report which is a vomit inducing sack of steaming shit.
A quick cunting. But none the less vital!
Good day chums.

Nominated by Cuntoxed

Nish Kumar (addendum to Cuntoxed’s nomination)

If I’m not mistaken, this is the plitically correct, faeces-tinted comedian who went fucking ballistic because someone got his surname incorrect. Apparently it was the personification of racial hatred – please read this shit-laden column from him if you can stomach it:

He’s been dining on this for months, and it seems to have secured him more work than ever. It matters not that he is about as funny as advanced stages of rabies; certainly not to the Al-BBC in any case. His anger at ‘unconscious bias’ due to ONCE being called ‘Nish Patel’ just makes him even more of a cunt than he appears.

Talking of unconscious, life would be that bit more tolerable if this cunt fell into a 35 year coma. I wonder if he would be as upset as being Nish Kuntmar?

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

42 thoughts on “Nish Kumar

    • This shitstain wouldn’t be anywhere without the BBC, except perhaps at a Travelodge, cleaning out the lavatories. It’s the bargain basement *comedy* shows that has caused the likes of him, Australian lesbians, any BAME arsehole who thinks she (or he) is funny, poofters and so-called satirists to assume a sort of stanfing that is totally undeserved. Of course the reason is that the BBC spends fuck all on radio so they employ these wankers because they are cheap, not good.

      If they took off Now Show/News Quiz/Just A Minute the number of people claiming JSA would rocket.

  1. My surname’s quite unusual and people are always getting it wrong. They’re just making a mistake, it’s not some form of ‘bias’. Having said that, I am actually getting pretty biased against smartarse, unfunny jumped up cunts, of which this twat is most definitely one. Has the cunt been on HIGNFY yet, to demonstrate his credentials as a cunt?
    Fuck off.

  2. If he wants to pursue his Remoan agenda through his broadcasts then why do we through our snowflake BBC, have to pay for his drivel?

  3. Yes i can see it now. Eric Morecambe, Billy Connolly, Peter Sellers, Tommy Cooper, John Cleese. And now in 2019 Nick Fucking Kumar. The beloved BBC have unearthed a new comedy legend there allright.

  4. He looks so ‘out there man’. Cunt looks like a prick. Typical unfunny modern comedian cunt. I’m sure the Islington crowd find him hilarious.
    Cunt looks he doesn’t drink as well, piss off.

  5. I’m pretty sure, no certain in fact, that he scored his hilarious BBC comedy programme from conscientious touring and a finger on the pulse of the humour zeitgeist and nothing to do with tokenism and the perma-suntan.

    Painfully, pitifully, awkwardly unfunny and about as many laughs as having testicular surgery though evidently nobody has told the tryhard cunt.

  6. Load of bollocks. The cunt made all that name confusion shit up just so he could have a pop at Brexit. The Guardian print this sort of whining drivel every day of the week.
    You’re preaching to the choir Ghupta. Now fuck off to the fucking EU and see if they get your name right cunt.

  7. Pretty much any ‘comedian’ who appears on the BBC now, is a cunt. Anyone who graces mock the week, have I got news for you or any of the other unfunny bullshit they decide to air these days.

    Being ‘inclusive’, which is also bullshit and made up has brought the bar crashing down, so that regardless of talent if you’re Mooslim, crippled, a man in a dress or an arse bandit, you can have much more than your 5 minutes of fame. In this cunts case you get whatever the fuck you want. And if the Al-BBC ever try to sack him off, he’ll say they’re racist.

    I hope this cunt hiding behind his skin colour and all other fuckers who aren’t able bodied, white, males, who voted for brexit eventually get what they deserve, but they probably fucking won’t because snowflake bastards run the world these days.

  8. Apparently, this purulent and grotesquely unfunny bellend began his, ahem, “career in comedy” while at Durham University (appropriately, he was at Grey College).
    Doubtless he is prickly about his now bowdlerised name; at his Namakarana Sanskar he was called Gash Kuntar.
    A valid and doubtless popular cunting.

  9. I despise this turd.
    He clearly doesn’t induce any humour. He’d only induce horror if he approached the vacant seat next to me on an aeroplane with that terrorist face. Also, you’d imagine a BBC wage would allow him to purchase some fucking shampoo. Shit, his house is no doubt crawling with lice.

  10. What makes me laugh is all the non white remoaniacs who are so pro EU yet don’t realise this is the most tolerant country in the world.
    Most of these eu countries are racist, backward shitholes and majority of the Eastern Europeans would probably make monkey noises if this twat took to the stage.
    I wonder how super funny ‘Nish’ would get on in Romania or Poland?
    What a triple distilled cunt of the highest purity.

  11. People are always getting my first name wrong. They call me “Cunt” and i have to tell them its “Cunts”

  12. One of his shows was called ‘Nish Kumar Is A Comedian.’

    I’ll be honest, I laughed my tits off, everytime I walked past the venue and saw the poster outside.

    Niche Komedy…no cunts’ laughing….

  13. It is highly disrespectful of Admin to misspell Nish’s name in the header.

    It’s NISH fucking PATEL – how many more times does the nonentity cunt have to say it?!!!

  14. “Oh I see. And what have you got in your niche corner?”

    “No, that’s my name.”

    “What, ‘Niche Corner’? Bloody strange name if you ask me!”

    “No, it’s NISH as in FISH, and KUMAR as in PUMA-RRR.”

    “Oh, well in that case it’s FUCK as in OFF!”

    Ahhh, the Duke of Edinburgh’s put-down songbook. A masterclass in dealing with cuntitude.

  15. Why are all present day comedians so un-funny? Jack Dee used to be but is tired now. Ditto pub landlord. And I refuse to get started on that lard filled Mcntyre

  16. Perfect cunting. “Comedy” has changed so much that it’s now unfunny, just PC. I used to draw and later write for a few adult comics back in the 90’s. Absolutely NONE of the material I submitted back then would be deemed as acceptable now.

    On an unrelated note, one of my own characters was “Timmy the Homesick Tampon” who, each month, was in search of the (topically) ultimate cunt. John Major, the-then kerb-crawling DPP…. Remind you of any current websites ???

    Nish Pish…

  17. Am in a McDonald’s up North. Full of kids and you could hear a pin drop!

    They are playing classical music. Really,it is fucking brilliant.

    I am not joking, it is blissful.

    Nish Kumar: Never heard of him.

    Bruno Krantz:RIP. Amazing actor. Check out the Baader Minehoff Complex, he plays the West German police chief. Of course, Downfall was his most famous role.

    Herr Fiddler, just to let you know that I am hanging in there. Have decided to fight my corner (got suspended from work:upset some snowflakes). If the want to sack me, Bring It On!

    • Nothing wrong in being in a McDonald’s up north with a load of kids listening to classical music.
      Apart from
      Being in McDonald’s
      Being up north
      With a load of kids
      Listening to classical music

    • Don’t be a cunt Krav! Threaten to scream homophobia and they’ll shit themselves.
      You might as well play the hand you were dealt even if it’s only a pair of queens. (Geddit?)

      I’ve got me coat, can someone call me a taxi?

    • Krav…. I’d honestly be amazed if you didn’t “fight your corner”. You don’t strike me as the kind to let anyone walk over the top of you. Stick to your guns,brazen it out and you’ll prevail.

      בהצלחה…..(hope I’ve got that right.)

      • Thanks Dick.

        You are correct. Your Ivrit is excellent.

        Am currently reading a biography of Ariel Sharon.

        He would not only have parked his tanks on the oppositions lawn, he would land mined it 1st.

        I really appreciate your support.

  18. Thanks, Freddie. This time it is because of my anti 3rd wave feminist ideals and hatred of all things left wing. The poof card won’t wash. I do think, however, that being a staunch Zionist may be a motivational factor. I don’t care.

    Inittaly, I gave up the fight before the bell rang. Dark thoughts, etc.

    Now? Time to fight back.

    What would Winston have done?
    Never surrender!

    I am a proud Zionist, I am a proud Englishman. The two are wholly compatible. Britain helped Israel to be created and no one should forget that or the murder of UK service personnel, especially the King David atrocity: I would never try to excuse what went on.

    God save the Queen!


    My back may be against a wall:good. Now I fight back…. I either do that or give in.

    • Chin up Krav
      “Danger: if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half. Never run away from anything. Never!”
      ― Winston Churchill

  19. Question:

    Sadiq Khan’s dad. What job did he do? The mayor os Lonsatabistan has never mentioned it…

    Oh, and why is Corbyn a total Jew hating gimmigrant loving scruffy SCUMCUNT?

    • What his dad did is make his mum pregnant and then spawn the monstrosity he is into the real world. Best argument for retroactive abortion ever.

  20. When the page loaded, I saw the name, saw the hair then decided ‘CUNT’ before scrolling down any further. Needless to say my surmising was duly proved perspicacious.

  21. I note that Gary Taxdodger was not on MOTD tonight. He usually manages to be there for one day a week to earn his 1.8 million of taxpayers’ money so I was a bit worried about him.
    Then I realised that he has probably flown off to Syria to help that poor little girl from Bethnal Green who has, through no fault of her own, got herself in a little bit of trouble.
    Good old Gary! I’m definitely going to start buying his crisps again!!

  22. A splendid piece of cunting!
    My only gripe is comparing this ugly buggerhead to such a handsome creature as a salmon.
    By the way I bet that he’s got profuse skidmarks .

  23. This guy is so unfunny. He popped up on a show I quite like, Would I Lie To You, and had to turn it off.

  24. I’ve seen him on ‘mock the twats’ ‘iq’ ‘never m9nd the fuckwits’ or some such drivel.
    He’s about as funny as face cancer… the un-funny Cunt.

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