I would like to nominate indolent immigration officers for a cunting. If you’ve travelled extensively I’m sure you will have come across the species I refer to. It’s a hot, sweaty climate. You’re tired and jet-lagged and you have the misfortune to choose the wrong queue at immigration. Whilst travellers in adjacent queues are processed quickly and efficiently your queue hardly moves.. Must be some arsehole with no visa or expired passport you think and crane your neck to see the problem. There’s a middle-aged lady being given the third degree by the immigration officer. She hasn’t got a long black beard and isn’t wearing a bed sheet. She doesn’t appear to be confused and doddery. After 5 minutes you hear the “thunk” of the visa stamped into her passport and think great, things will start moving now. Wrong! It takes the immigration officer another 5 minutes to process the next person – a young student with a backpack which the immigration cunt is laboriously rifling through? It takes him 5 minutes to process the next person – an elderly man whom the cunt requires to produce a hotel booking form and return flight ticket. Same lethargic and indolent treatment of every person in the queue. Thunk. So I start counting and find that for every one person the cunt processes the officers either side of him process five. Now I recognize immigration officers perform an important function and have procedures that must be followed. I have no problems with that. I also recognize that entering some countries can be very trying of your patience – ever been to Saudi? But this was a country that always brags about its cleanliness and efficiency. Yes, Singapore. Woodlands border control point to be precise. When I finally got to stand in front of this piece of shit he wanted me to recite and prove all the information that was on the immigration entry form in front of him. So I said “call your senior officer here now” Thunk. No says I. You are a lazy pompous arse behaving like a little dictator. Call your senior officer, I’m not moving. Cunt seizes my passport and telephones his boss. He knows I have a bus connection to catch and will now miss it so he smiles like the smug bastard he is. Inspector takes me upstairs to office. I relate my complaint about cunt’s attitude and say watch the CCTV coverage and you’ll see what I mean. Inspector does so. Calls the smug bastard off his desk. Takes me down to bus stop and ensures I get free bus ride into city. Apologises for the cunt as I leave. So don’t be harassed and bullied by little immigration officer cunts like Sgt(2) Ooi Jing Beng of the Singapore Immigration Control Authority, Woodlands checkpoint. Fuck off cunt.

Nominated by Fimbriations

Lucy Worsley is a cunt….

Apart from being a BBC cunt, Worsley is as annoying as fuck and a totally narcissistic twat…

Her latest series ‘America’s Biggest Fibs’ has her yet again poncing around in various costumes and wigs… She’s like the horrible ‘Look at me!’ kid everyone had in their class at school… I’ve no problem with (good) actors and actresses who wear stuff like that for dramatic purposes, but a fucking presenter and alleged ‘historian’?! Do fuck off….

I’m also all for a decent history programme, but this irritating and smug show off cunt isn’t that either… Fuck off, you dressing up big headed dizzy cunt…

Nominated by Norman

Recently 129 MEPs  signed a letter to the great British public, asking us to reconsider our referendum decision, to prevent ‘an unfolding Brexit disaster’. Apparently they were ‘reluctant to intervene in (our) domestic politics’, but stuck their oar in anyway, because (and fucking get this) ‘Brexit is very different to the promises made by the Leave campaign nearly three years ago’. Can you believe the audacity of pointing the finger at the Leave campaign, in the light of the duplicity and cynicism displayed towards the 17.4m. ‘leave’ voters by both the EU and our own government during this period? It’s just breathtaking.

As if this wasn’t bad enough, the letter went on to say that a decision to stay would mean that (and get THIS!) ‘we would work with you to reform and improve the EU so that it works better in the interests of all citizens’. Talk about havin’ a larf. ‘Reform and improve’? When has this bloated, undemocratic plutocracy ever shown the slightest interest in reforming itself? I’d sooner believe that pigs, no, fucking elephants, can fly.

At least Parliament grew some balls and threw May’s bucket of shit deal into the Thames in mid January. There’s still time for more twists and turns in this interminable saga, but perhaps, just perhaps, we’ll truly be free from this rotting corpse of an organisation come March. In anticipation of that happy event I say to those MEPs; ‘get off the British gravy train and wave it goodbye, as it’s about to chug off around the bend and out of sight’.

To paraphrase John Lennon, ‘all you want is cash cash, cash is all you want’. Well start looking elsewhere for it, you cunts.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Ohhh no. It’s that arduous time of year again. You pop to the pub for a sharpener or to watch a bit of the Beautiful Game but alas, the match isn’t being shown. Instead, the tv shows twenty burly men stroking each other’s waists or grabbing their neighbour’s thighs. Either that or they’re standing around on yet another break, confused, as the referees attempt to ascertain the rules while the fans pretend this is anything but dull as ditchwater.
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Yep, it’s the Hömo Six Nations.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Live footage of Ken Livingstone waving goodbye to his last shred of political dignity

Ken Livingstone

Just watched the Brillo destroy old Ken on “This Week.” (31/1/19). Poor old cunt was totally out of his depth, all he could say, “well the Venezuelan ambassador told me….,.”
Give it up Ken. Go back to your garden and your newts and appearing on BBC or C4 “comedy” programmes sneering at the working classes you pretend to love so much.
You’re a cunt, a hypocrite and an anti-Semite. Just fuck off.

Nominated by Freddie the Frog