I would like to cunt James Nesbitt doing voiceovers. Just fuck off.some poxy ad agency has come up with the spiffing wheeze that he has a voice that the plebs just luuuuuurve. Errrrrr no ,it’s just irritating. All I think is aren’t you fucking getting enough money from your many many acting roles?. You’re in danger of over exposing yourself mate.
Nominated by Richard1
BBC Icons.
What a stupid concept. In what way can Pablo Picasso be compared with Ernest Shackleton, Bowie with Ali? And why aren’t there categories for author or soldier?
However, this nomination arises not from the pointlessness, but from the typical BBC right-on approach to the selections. For example, is Alan Turing there ahead of Einstein because he is a more significant scientist (certainly arguable) or because he was gay and played by Cucumberpatch in a film? Is Mandela really a greater leader than Churchill? He was a compassionate and inspirational figure whilst a prisoner, but hardly a great president when his time to do some leading came (and his wife was an arch-cunt).
I’ve no problem with Luther-King or Bowie in their fields and Shackleton was obviously a top bloke.
There was some wailing and gnashing of teeth because there were no women in the final. Clare Balding made the (mostly) valid point that the 20th Century world was a mans’ one, then undermined herself by suggesting that in future we may be hailing such icons as Oprah Winfrey and Michelle Obama.
Aside from all that, for myself, if I had to pick one, it would be Ali. Not because he was a draft-dodger or Moslem convert, but simply because he was, for many years, the most famous man in the world. He would probably still be recognised by more people in the world than any of the others.
Nominated by Harry Axwound
It’s that time of year to cunt once again the fucking borefest to end all borefests that is the Superbowl. It goes for a fucking eternity, no cunt knows the rules, if it fucking has any, and the half time entertainment is like an Olympics opening and closing ceremony all rolled into one, with a load of cunts no fucker has ever heard of or if they had, thought they fucked off many moons ago.
For a country so fucking big how come they haven’t a clue about fucking sport!!
Superbowl 50 fucking whatever get fucked you cunt.
Nominated by Flexicunt
I would like to take the time to direct a cunting at the annual cuck show that is the superbowl. After being spoiled by some excellent rugby over the weekend a friend recommended we watch the superbowl. Having fuck all interest in the NFL, I was utterly ambivalent if we watched it or not. However, there was fuck all else to watch (unless you like the reboot of gays dressing Bi curious men) so I thought fuck it. God what a boring cunt of a sport. Constant breaks in play, no tension, no hard hits and whats with all the fucking protection. The half time show royally fucked me off. That cunt from maroon five and those other cunts with their shit ass hip hop. Fuck all of you cunts.
On the bright side I did have a great palette cleanser. Watched a few episodes of bottom. RIP Rik Mayall you fucking legend!
Nominated by Cuntflappage
Awards Ceremonies
Yep. It’s that time of year again. Take yer pick between them. Oscars invariably preceded by manufactured controversy over some unheard-of cunt “comedian” upsetting the easily offended. Well you can have Fry instead but don’t forget to distance yourselves pronto the moment that your old chums Spacey and Wankstain hit the buffers you toadying cunts.
BAFTA? Embarrassingly over-recognises the worthy-but-tedious UK nominees or finds the most tenuous of British connections all at the expense of more deserving winners who are invariably not bothered to attend either. Look out for that hideous mouth-stuck-open Olivia Coleperson this year (if you can be arsed)
The Brits. What a pile of shit handing out awards to the endless stream of here today/gone tomorrow load of shite. Rag n Bone Man? Stormzy? Who the fucking hell are they? Who the fuck cares?!
And all of the above fawned over by the usual virtue-signalling audience clapping away like performing seals bedecked with the latest ribbon or badge to display their “right-on” credentials.
Nominated by Isaac Hunt
I
“I’ve been wondering what that special place in hell looks like for those who promoted Brexit without even a sketch of a plan how to carry it out safely,” Tusk said.
Donald Tusk.
What a full weight prick this guy is. Says “There’s a special place in hell, for Brexiteers who haven’t planned a safe way to leave the EU” (paraphrased, but if you read the quote it’s the same). Looking at the evidence, there isn’t a safe way to remain in the EU with self important, unelected, wank stains like you Donald.
When pushed, these dildos in suits really do show their true colours, and with no repercussions of course, as you weren’t even elected by the public.
Leaving all other evidence aside for leaving or remaining, just the sheer arrogance of people like Tusk should make you question, ‘Do I really want a man like this governing my laws and regulations’?
The answer is no, do you fuck!
Nominated by Elboobio
Emergency cunting for Donald Tusk, quoted below:
European Council President Donald Tusk has spoken of a “special place in hell” for “those who promoted Brexit without even a sketch of a plan of how to carry it out safely”.
Apparently Tusk is European Council President although I don’t remember voting for this office.
Firstly, Tusk is obviously rattled that the ‘negotiation’ that was dictated to May has failed miserably and the prospect of No-Deal will hurt the EU more than the UK.
Secondly, no Leave campaigning politician was involved in the negotiations. Davis was supposed to be but had no powers and was too fucking idle to do anything about it. Negotiations were carried out by Remain Mavis and Remoan Whitehall.
Thirdly, the cunt Cameron who should have had a plan B fucked off to his Wendy caravan when the shit hit the fan.
So what has got to Tusk? Surely he wont be blamed for the half dozen or so EU economies that will nosedive with No-Deal? It is a rule that EU officials are responsible for fuck all.
Or is it just that he is a bureaucratic, undemocratic cunt?
Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGH-0J5fAv0