I’d like to nominate pointless announcements for a cunting. As an example, at Waterloo tube some fucker repeatedly announces ‘for those that don’t regularly use this station, peak times are between 8am and 9am’. Well fuck me, I’d never have thought of that. You mean rush hour is the busiest time? Fuck me sideways, thanks for letting me know.

This constant white noise on top of an already stressful commute is something I can do without. I wonder which cunt in a QA meeting about ‘how we can improve our service’ came up with that one. Now if they’d suggested announcing ‘to all self absorbed millennial cunts ambling along checking your phone for the latest Wankbook, Instacunt or Snapturd notifications, please put the fucking thing away and realise that the entire fucking world doesn’t revolve around you’, that would have been more use.

Never happen of course because first the offender is likely to have massive headphones on, and second the very snowflake fuckwits responsible for such annoyances would report a hate crime. Can just see the fuckers on social media bleating about how they were so upset and shaken by such a nasty announcement. Cunts.

Nominated by Bellendiousmaximus

Hand Gesticulations. The people who do this are cunts aren’t they.

So desperately trying to get their normally left wing political rhetoric across to anyone who dares question them or have an opposing view, they start gesticulating wildly like a demented sign language for the deaf person, doing them a disservice in their chosen good cause/profession.

The point they are trying to get across usually gets lost in this frantic handwaving activity. When they really get flustered they point their “hand” at you which is no different to finger pointing which they heavily despise because they feel “threatened”.

Cunts.

Nominated by Speakyourmind

Fascinating Aida deserve a cunting, or a good kick in the cunt, for their “post-Brexit song So Sorry Scotland.”

Everybody’s entitled to their opinion, and we are sensible enough on this site to accept that, and have some good debates.

However, comments on their youtube page were disabled because…
“some of them were polite enough, but others were oxygen thieving trolls.”

I’m guessing that here “polite” equates to EU arselicking, and the rest is…oxygen thieving.

“Comments are disabled for this video” should be banned. Every time I see this, I immediately suspect blatant propaganda.

Nominated by HBelindaHubbard

It may be a niche cunting, but I nominate cake-and-piss-flap comediennes.

You know the sort; tubby comediennes whose whole act revolves around humour about cake, eating too much chocolate (and cake), and their genitals.

Examples include Sarah Millican, Jo Brand and the appropriately named Jenny Eclair.

Yes. You prefer chocolate and cake to sex with your flaccid, grey husband. We get it.

Most of the women who laugh along to this crap are themselves ‘gigglebiscuits’ who – to paraphrase the Viz Profanisaurus – are overweight women whose sense of humour and entire personality revolves around the temptations of cake/puddings/ chocolate.

It’s as hilarious as a masonry nail through the foreskin.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime