I would like to nominate the “car finder” site cinch.co.uk for a cunting!

I went on their site looking for a bit of older quality (just like the ladies I prefer) and drew a complete blank (as I do with the ladies I prefer…).

The models were prestigious in their era but have not been manufactured since the turn of the decade. At my age I want a bit of quality comfort without breaking the piggy-bank, and a cheeky 4ltr V8 saloon (doesn’t take a genius to work out what models) really appeals. I could give a fuck about fuel economy, or the environment (fuck you Lucas, you CUNT)!

However, they did have lots of “just MOT age” soulless shite. When my “I know what I want” search failed miserably 4 times, I tried the esoteric “tell us about yourself” route.

The list returned included horrendously expensive: Ford Galaxy, Citroen C5, BMW 3 series estate, all diesel… well I could go on but I won’t. I hadn’t realised I’d ticked the box where it asked: “Have you given up the will to live?”

So basically if you want to pay £20,000-£40,000 for a relatively new cuntmobile (Audi, Beemer, Merc) then you could use Cinch – if you were an idiot – or you can just gaze at the dead eyes of a main dealer used car rep as they lie to you in person!

Car dealing sites, second only to estate agent sites for their cuntitude!

Cunts!

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

30 % less fat Cheddar Cheese is a right Cunt.

It doesn’t taste right, the block breaks up when you try and grate it, it doesn’t melt and bubble like full fat Cheddar and it looks like plastic, but the missus keeps fucking buying it, the cunt!!!

‘We don’t want you having another heart attack, do we?’ she fucking warbles, as if she’s fully cognizant with my thought processes.

Fucking fascist in a frock.

30% less fat Cheddar, Cunt Cheese for Cunts.
Get To Fuck.

Nominated by Jack The Cunter

Tiny Tim was a cunt…

Don’t know why I thought of him just now, but that Tiptoe Through The Tulips squealing cunt freaked me out when I was a kid….

What a cunt he was…

Nominated by Norman

A nomination for Alfie Howard-Hughes and his twat of a mother.

I read about him in The Times today – he has hair all the way down his back and has been told that he must get it cut if he wants to enter Colchester Royal Grammar School. His mother has said that if necessary, he will wear it in a plait, a bun or a hairnet, because he ‘absolutely does not want it cut.’

Alfie has said it is “a part of him”, and is determined to turn up on his first day of school with his hair still intact.

“It’s never been a thing in my mind.. it has always been there. My hair is a part of me. I don’t just want to do it so I can keep my hair but I want to do it for other boys who have long hair.”

His mum, Katy Cox, 33, has called the policy “ridiculous” and accused the school of making “carbon copies” of the children.
She said: “Rules keep our children safe and that’s important but some rules need to be challenged otherwise we would be living in a cave.

His mum added: “I think I remember watching other children screaming when they had their hair cut and I thought I would never do that to my child. I wanted to leave it up to him when and if he wanted his hair cut and that never came.
“It’s not my hair it’s his hair, it’s part of who he is.” etc etc etc….

Well fuck off, the school dress and appearance code is set and if you don’t like it, then he can go to the local comprehensive and probably get the crap kicked out of him for looking like a twat. His parents will probably take legal action for breach of the spoilt little bastard’s yoooman rights, and sadly, will no doubt win.

Nominated by Mystic Maven