A cunting for – the Lincolnshire press (bear with me..). Now I’m such a cunt that I live in the infamous Boston, Lincolnshire; a place where we have to have street signs in about 15 European languages asking our fine ethnic visitors not to a) drink alcohol, b) shoot up, c) drop your kex any old where and drop a steaming turd in the middle of the pavement; I kid you not.

Now this has been going on for donkeys years to the point where the few English fuckers left are past caring; yet the local papers and TV news insist on reporting the many, many instances of these kind of shenanigans without any reference whatsoever to the fact that the retards responsible sure as hell ain’t English.

Just another reason my piss boils whenever I hear some smug Islington cunt lecturing us thicko Brexit voters about how racist we are; unfortunately while your immigrants may be able to make a top-drawer skinny mocha soy latte for you, the only skills ours seem to be able to manage is the superhuman ability to drink 14% Polish lager for breakfast on the park benches and dropping some truly jaw-dropping chocolate bombs in the kids’ sandpit. Oh and drink-driving, they’re fucking ace at that.

Cunts one and all.

Nominated by Cunting virgin

Although on closer inspection the first story I find is an English bloke taking a shit on a dead hedgehog!!!!!

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/09/13/lincolnshire_incident/

Cancer scare tactics are a cunt.
Many of us have suffered a family loss to this disease. It’s awful. However, the corporate tactic to raise money is like rubbing salt in the wound, because of the cavalier way statistics are quoted and presented.
I saw some tv recently, and I saw the statistic being touted of “1 in 2 of us in the UK will get cancer in our lifetime”.
The delivery of this statistic relies on the context of emotional distress, usually after a harrowing real life story. Of course the reality is terrible, I’m not suggesting otherwise.
However, I would say that there is a massive fucking difference between implying that half the population are definately getting the disease so pay up cos you might need our help, and saying that the average person has a fifty percent chance of contracting the disease in their lifetime.
Let’s not forget that this statistic also includes all the different cancers, many of which are already treatable, or benign, or the fact that many elderly people die anyway despite having an age related cancer.
Having a fifty percent chance also means that not getting it at all is also a possible outcome, for each person, individually.
This is no doubt the work of advertising executives, those soulless cunts who set loose the chuggers on our streets, and set about cold calling the elderly. I think drawing on people’s fear of death is an awful thing to coolly employ as a marketing tactic. Raising money for these things is obviously necessary but I think it should be done openly and honestly.
People would give to a cause like cancer research even if marketing execs didn’t imply they were next.
I suppose it’s too much to expect a marketing exec to comprehend that at least some humans are capable of empathy.
Perhaps this is also one of those subjects we’re not allowed to speak realistically about, and doing so just means that one is a cunt.

Nominated by Cuntflap

“Home-maker, Full-time Mother or House-Husband”

What a ridiculous way to describe being a lazy, sponging,benefit-grabbing Waster.

Turn of the daytime telly,put down the wine glass,tidy yourself up.get a job and stop sponging off other people…Oh,and Fuck Off.

Nominated by Dick de Pfeffel Foxchaser-Fiddler

A nom for the Rainbow Poppy if you please.

An odd one this, in that the internet has been awash with news of the LGBTQ cunts selling a rainbow-patterned poppy for Remembrance Day. It’s not actually true, this was the work of just one person on eBay; but nevertheless the right-thinking among us, unaware they have been duped, have quite rightly kicked off and told them exactly where to stick their pissing-on-dead-soldiers-graves abomination.

However, this has resulted in a pro-ponce backlash from the usual right-on types who are widely saying that we SHOULD have rainbow poppies because there were millions of arse bandits in WWII!! Jesus H Christ, yes I’m sure there were lots of drag queens who struggled with their party dresses and Manolo Blahniks climbing out of the fucking trenches. What the actual fuck!

Nominated by Cuntan the Cuntarian

I want to cunt over-sharers.
Those people who talk loudly in public about things (usually bodily functions) that we’d rather not hear about.

For example, the other day whilst I’m queuing at the checkout in a supermarket, a woman and her two daughters are behind me. The oldest daughter who looks to be in her late teens or early twenties, then starts talking about her monthly cycle and how this month its much heavier than usual – she was a little more graphic than this, but I’ll spare you the information or else I’ll be a victim of my own cunting.

Menstruating is nothing to be ashamed of, after all its a natural process, but do you really have to tell everyone about how you need more sanitary products this month because its a particularly heavy month. Put me right off my spag bol.

Same with adverts. Do we really need adverts about “leakage”?
Males as well as females apparently.

Like those awful v.i. poo adverts with some aspiring hollywood tart talking about how her shit stinks. Is it all really necessary?

Nominated by Harold Steptoe