Alastair Campbell: liar, cheat all round piece of shit. He deserves a nomination for his antics last night during the debate between Boris and Jeremy, the Jew Hater.

Campbell rebranded his twitter account to ‘Boris Johnson’ and proceeded to tweet a series of misogynistic tweets such as, “I wish this bird would stop asking me to shut up…why isn’t she in the kitchen”? And the always hilarious; “Off for a quick post-debate shag. Hope Carrie’s not back yet”. He then changed it back to it’s original Alastair Campbell and seemingly having forgotten, he tweeted, “I am a liar and a charlatan”. Well, at least he managed some accuracy at the end.

It’s not surprising that someone as childish as Campbell would do something so ridiculously childish as this. But considering he and his chum Blair are responsible for far more than Boris Johnson ever could be, that displays Herculean levels of arrogance.

It’s about time that this lying, devious, pile of elephant shit disappeared down into the deepest, darkest hole on the planet, and stayed there.

Alastair Campbell, you sir, are a cunt.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

An overture-and-beginners, lights-round-the-makeup-mirror cunting please for Equity, the actor laddies union, who wish to ban that disgraceful sexist expression *Ladies and Gentlemen*:

What a bunch of limp-wristed fuckwits.

What should we call the punters then?. Answers on a postcard please to Hilary Benn, a man with a woman’s name, who will ask for a confirmatory vote to put it back to “the people”

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

‘Black Friday’ is up for a pre-yuletide cunting

Black Friday – a name which suprisingly hasn’t been nixed by the social justice elite – is one more in a long line of forced Americunt imports. Instead of being just a day of shopping sales pre-Christmas as outlets move to shift final stocks of certain goods, it has become a fucking fortnight of build-up, designed to maximise the fleecing of shopaholic simpletons of their benefits cash.

For me, the accursed phenomenon came into focus a few years ago, when the famous footage appeared on the news depicting dinudnuffins savagely beating each other over the cornrows to get the last discounted Blaupunkt TV from Tesco. I mean, I wouldn’t even punch my most hated rival over complete detritus like a fucking Blaupunkt TV, but I guess a sale is a sale, right?

Admittedly, come Friday morning, yes, I will get a few things online; namely a cut-price TV stick which I was considering buying full price anyway and a reduced-cost Eurosport annual subscription – that’s it. Things I wanted regardless of Black Friday, things I will extensively use and hence, legitimate bargains. But just who in their fucking right mind wants to traipse into circles of retail hell like Westfields West London or Bond Street, just to get into an eternal scrum over some Michael Kors shite or a tub of Body Shop “£1 off” ultra-perfumed chemicals?

Just like Hallowe’en went from a bit of a kids treat to a full-blown fucking national holiday, so to has this shite from across the pond infested the media-driven hype machine to stir the spending fervour of every fucking simpleton in the land. Hopefully a few morons will plummet over the 8-storey escalator in Westfield’s John Lewis. I suspect however that still won’t stop them, the fucking insidious cunts.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

In my day a doublled barrelled surname meant you were some private schooled educated cunt like Tim Nice-But-Tim. We respected these cunts cos they were posh and knew how to manage us Hoi Polois. Nowadays ever double barrelled cunt is a dark-key footballer playing for some Liverpool soccer outfit.

Doubled barrelled surname should be reserved to proper Eton, Harrow etc. educated upper class ruling class types who are a product of proper servicing not some Scouse rendering of a white flag by a hugely hung blackie.

They are just highlighting that mother got sorted by some massively hung rasta cunt with a surname like Alexander or Arnold or Oxlade or Chamberlain.

Nominated by Cuntrycunt