Nicola Sturgeon (19)

Time for a festive, seasonal knockabout cunting for Nicola Sturgeon.

How much more irritation can one twat cause to an entire country? This pint-sized penis-repelling gobshite just can’t help herself. Going on and on about a second independence referendum for Scotland. She just won’t stop! She’s like a really bad STD, loads of pain but without the pleasure and NO cure. At least for the rest of the UK there’s relative calm for the foreseeable future, but oh no, not for us North of the border…it’s the “Neverendum” story.


The Neverendum…
‘Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee. I’m speaking to you from outside the Scottish Parliament in Edinburgh, where I’m joined by First Munter *ahem cough* Minister Nicola Sturgeon’.
‘Guid afternoon’.
‘So First Minister, now that the dust has settled on the general election, you’re renewing your demand for another independence referendum’.
‘Aye. Wull. The SNP says that th’ peepull are entitled tae it, and the SNP is th’ voice o’ Scortlund’.
‘It’s Ron, not Will. Then you’re going to keep up the pressure on Westminster, even though a second referendum has been ruled out?’.
‘Aye. Ye cannae keep Scortland in th’ Unyan if the peepull dinnae went it. An’ we’re tellin’ the peepull that they dinnae went it’.
‘But First Minister, surely you’ve got an uphill task here even if you get another vote. All the crucial issues that are unanswered from last time remain. What about arrangements for the Anglo-Scottish border? And in 2014, people were seriously unconvinced by the SNP’s back-of-a-fag-packet economics. What will Scotland’s currency be? You’ll be out of the EU, so the Euro’s not an option. Will you try for a formal currency union with rUK to retain the pound? If you do, won’t this simply return control on interest rates and economic policy back to the Bank of England? Would you expect the Bank of England, effectively rUK tax-payers, to act as Scotland’s lender of last resort? How are you going to finance all your spending commitments? What about arrangements on defence?’.
‘Erm, aye, wull… this time we won’t alloo th’ peepull tae be distracted by sordid details aboot bawbees. This time it’ll be all aboot wa vision, wrappin’ oorsels in th’ Saltire, oor Manifest Destiny as Scorts; misty glens and glowing malts, haggis an’ lone pipers, land o’ the moontain an’ the flood, the shinin’ river an’ the high endeavour…’.
‘Well, yes; we’re running out of time First Minister, so let me ask you. What if you lose again? Will that really then be it for a lifetime?’.
‘ Wull, erm, aye, naw, ah cannae really say at this moment in time…’.
‘I see, thank you;it’s a neverendum then. Finally, I’m sure you’d like to offer a word of support to your long-time friend and close political ally Alex Salmond, who will shortly be in court facing charges of sexual misconduct’.
‘This is Ron Knee in Edinburgh, returning you to the studio’.

Nominated by Ron Knee

88 thoughts on “Nicola Sturgeon (19)

  1. HAha, one of my favourite cuntings of the year. Nicola First Munter must be right up there in the premiership or top ten of, “who’s had the most cuntings”.

    I love coming (!) on this site, always cheers me up no end, when I am grumpy in the morning.

    Let the people of Scotland decide on their own destinies. Even though they just had a “one in a lifetime referendum only five short years ago”. I predict with a high degree of certainty that if Nicola gets her second referendum (unlikely!!) then she will also fail to attract the necessary 50.01% of the vote, too, as last time in 2014 the people of Scotland spoke and said, “no, fuck off”.

    Scotland has a long history of being economically underwritten by the English and that’s the way it will likely stay.

    If Scotland wins their second ref. (double unlikely!!) then they will very quickly move to rejoin the European Union. Oh what a fucking mess!!

    Over the next decade or two there will be similar moves afoot from Wales and Northern Ireland. Personally I would love to see NI returned to the rest of Ireland. Wales, well, it’s little more than a large county of England, and, it’s fucking impoverished, and, I fucking live there.

    Great journalism from Evil Scotsman and Ron Knee today, gave me a right guffaw, thanks boyos.

    • “A Man does good business when he rids himself of a turd”

      Scotland does not want independence, Nicola Krankie wants independence – but if it does happen don’t forget to remind Wee Jimmy Poison we will be wanting back the £122 Billion from “THE SCOTS STEEEEEEALING OOR OIL” (sorry, couldn’t resist that one, comes from decades of every Scot where I live whining about this completely fabricated “injustice”), as well as the £10 Billion annual payment we make so the Scottish Nazional Party can continue pretending they can balance the books.
      Sturgeon? Cunt!

    • Thanks mate.
      Given that the missus is a Scot, I take a bit of interest in affairs north of the border, and I find it strange (as does the wife) how so many Scots keep voting for the SNP given its extremely indifferent record in government at Holyrood. Their answer of course, always seems to be to resort to the line that any deficiences in their performance result from the shackles placed on them by Westminster.
      Although I was taking the piss a bit here, it really does seem to me that this ‘manifest destiny’ notion plays a large part in the SNP’s appeal. I don’t think the party really knows the answer to the big questions itself, but naively sees ‘rUK’ falling into line with whatever it proposes come the day.

      • The first rule of SNP politics – f*ck it up then blame the evil English! (Was it the Auld Enemy who overspent on the construction of the Scottish Parliament building to the tune of £560 million Pounds – er, no, that would be the SNP! But it had to be fishy when someone called Salmond is involved!)
        Scots are sound, it’s just the SNP who are cunts!

        But I would still motorboat Swinsons jolly chest boulders (she would never know when the facial was about to hit though, for obvious reasons that bit would be covered by a bag!)

      • Goodman. I agree re. having a one nighter with Jo Swinson (and Jess Phillips) provided I never had to look at their faces. Indeed their faces could be marginally improved by being thoroughly doused in a thick spunk facial.

      • “naively sees ‘rUK’ falling into line with whatever it proposes come the day.”

        SNP could be onto something there… considering how easily the Government caved in to EU demands over the Withdrawal Agreement.

      • In answer to RTC above – I am also baffled wht people with a reputation for being the hardest ass negotiators in the World could get so regally f*cked, leaving us with a deal that keeps us in on worse terms then calling it a great deal! Should have had me in charge – I would have come back with Tusk’s shoes, shirt, testes and an option on any female members of his Family in a Prima Nocta stylee! (Well, I am from Yorkshire!)
        Selling a turd as gold is eventually found out, and we are beginning to be aware of the smell, UK “negotiators” are CUNTS!
        Incidentally, had three phone calls today saying “has he gone Mel, is the coast clear”? – how on Earth did all these Men know I am in the Navy and on call today?

  2. Give them another vote, time limit it to 35 years, make Scottish voters pay for it, and include the divorce terms in advance – Let Scots know exactly what their share of the national debt will be before they vote. Also make it a quick drive-through divorce, don’t fuck about just get all the UK’s shit off Scottish land within 6 months and tell the cunts they’re on their own.

    • Scottish National debt is currently running at 57% of entire UK debt, no idea why but Nicola has a lovely collection of designer handbags, and going back to Legoland every six Months for re sculpturing can’t be cheap!
      Some wag suggested it might be 3 decades of chronic financial mismanagement by the SNP, but it’s clearly the fault of the evil oppressive English – just ask Nicola, if you can get a word in!
      I worked in banking and finance for many Years before tapping out (wrong colour face and no degree from the “correct” University, hard work being ordered around and treated like sh*t by a 22 Year old post gwad who is unable to do freehand mathematical calculations and gets her washing done by Mummy) and have yet to hear NS explain how a barrel of oil valued at $58 is according to her worth $160 – solid economics there!

  3. Could’nt Boris just hold a crucifix up to the old trout? With any luck it might send her back to hell.
    If you want another referendum Nicola, let every cunt vote, You’ll soon get your independence granted.
    Then you can fuck off

  4. Perhaps she needs a good tongue up her arsehole to clear her mind of such delusional fantasies!

    If they do get a second referendum she’ll probably insist that the winning post for leaving the UK will be fiddled about with in such a way that the pass mark to stay in the UK will be something like 75% and not the far more democratic 50.01%

  5. I got no beef with the Jockanese.
    Many jocks consider themselves British which got proved in the jock referendum a few years ago.
    Just the younger millennial types who have studied at Uni in Edinburgh who love the EU-Reich wish to leave the evil Imperialism of England (or so they think)

    The fucking horrible goblin-queen Krankie of course cannot accept that democracy was done then as it was on 12th Dec 2019.
    Instead she tries to pull a fairly prosperous Scotland who is part of a strong time tested union into a mire of shit making Scotland a small province of Brussels.
    She and that fat slug Alex Salmond can fuck off to their EU-reich paymasters Merkel and the Froggy dwarf cunt Macron.

      • Yes indeed. He pleaded not guilty to a whole range of charges from (I think) 10 different women, and said that he will vigorously defend his innocence when his trial starts in March. He could well be sunk by sheer weight of evidence I reckon, even if his extremely expense counsel manages to discredit some of the claims. It could make for fascinating viewing, and I bet that Sturgeon is damn glad to have gotten the election out of the way beforehand, even though she denies it.

  6. You have got this all wrang, Ron.

    The currency will be the Wee Bawbee. Trading at 5 to the skag deal. Underwritten by the Bank of England.

    Defence will be sorted by Mel Gibson, as in the documentary.

    There will be no need of a border with England. The Jocks will be welcomed in as and when they please.

    Faslane will be decommissioned frae the hated Trident and replaced wi pedalo tours o the Clyde.

    Scottish shipbuilding will be revitalised assembling these pedalos.

    There is a huge market for shortbread, haggis and whisky which is currently suppressed by the English.

    Fair’s fair. We’ll have nae Sweatyism on this site.

    • Ah, I see that you’ve read and digested the SNP’s Scotland’s Future document from the referendum CC! Yes, as you say, it really had all the answers!

  7. Scotland owes nearly sixty per cent of the National debt (how? Who the f*ck was in charge? Oh yes, the SNP..) – which will legally need to be paid whether Scotland remains in the Union or not.
    I do not mind Scots, people are people – but have a serious issue with the lego head ranting racist bigot who appears to think she runs Scotland, and she does – into the floor, every Year!

  8. Good nominations for this foul woman whose purpose is to make everybody despise her and therefore wash their hands of Scotland. The amount of SNP MPs keeps giving her oxygen so one must actually blame half the Scottish population. This infuriating argument will rattle on throughout the whole of this Parliament.

    • The Brexit trade deal and a Scotish referendum are the two ponies that will be ridden hard across the BBC airwaves next year, trying to create news as opposed to reporting it

  9. This cunt really could get cunted every day of the week and I for one would never get bored of it. The reason I originally found this site was because I typed into Google ‘Alex Salmond is a cunt’. I never believed there would be a bigger cunt than that cunt but then up pops up Wee Jimmy Krankie, the cunt. I don’t understand why this annoying little pipsqueak gets so much attention from the media. Nobody seems to ask her the most important questions like Sir Ron alludes to. The Scottish Nazi Party seem to think they will keep the GB pound if they get Independence – err, no you won’t, fuck off. They seem to think the EU will welcome them with open arms but, because of their shit economy, they’ll get another big fat fuck off. I actually don’t believe they want ‘Independence’ (but still belong to the EU? How the fuck does that work?), I think all they want to do is vent their spleens at England and anything English the racist, miserable, obnoxious, thick cunts.

    • The point I’ll never understand CS is why they want ‘independence’ from the UK in order to surrender it to Brussels as fast as is humanly possible. Sturgeon rambles on incessantly about ‘Scotland being an equal member of a union of sovereign nations’ blah. Where the fuck has this woman been for the last twenty years or more? Doesn’t she get it? Scotland can never be anything other than a pimple on the bum of the EU, only to be noticed if it starts to become irritating and in need of a good scratch.

  10. I thought she was dead! Can we please have a nationwide referendum to get rid of the scotch once and for all with a hard border. The Scotch joined the Union and Spent 200 years at the very forefront of Empire. Go back to Darian you fuckwits. What a bunch of whiny cunts.

    • If the Irish have trouble getting their goods to the Continent post Brexit then the Scots will be really fucked post Indi.
      We’ll tax the fuckers to the hilt for using our roads. Booshka Booshkas will be waiting at the wall to hijack all the whisky wagons.

      • At least the Mick’s had a fight. The Jocks started the fight. I’m sick of them.The most whining whiny pretend “nation”in human history. I’m 40% scotch. How embarrassing for me. 60% saves me from complete shame.

    • Fuck off you ignorant cunt. Yet another imperialistic English attitude that thinks that every fucking SCOT voted for SNP.
      What’s happened to this fucking country?
      Nation divided. Next up, splitting in our cities and towns.
      God rest United Kingdom it was great while it lasted.

      • I can appreciate your anger but you’ve got to realise that the only voice people in England hear coming out of Scotland is the SNP saying the people-of-Scotland-this and people-of-Scotland that, and given they get a landslide every single election English people can be forgiven for thinking that yes they must speak for Scotland then. You all need to deal with them up there if you don’t want them to represent you.

      • Thanks for that. Yes your right of course. Maybe an assassination is truly well overdue? ………..(not you lol)

      • A very good point. My wife and all my in-laws despise the SNP. The missus constantly makes the point that the Nats make so much fucking noise, and try to position themselves as ‘the party of Scotland’ that it can be difficult for people south of the border to grasp that they are, in fact, in the minority. All the indy vote is a solid ‘nodding dog’ vote for the Nats, whereas the non indy vote is split across a few parties. The fact that the vagaries of the electoral system result in an over representation of the Nats at Westminster, fronted up by that perpetually whining gobshite Blackford, doesn’t help matters either.

  11. I honestly fucking detest this woman. She hasn’t a clue. And her desire for Scottish independence is another reason why the Shinners are always prattling on about “the weakening of the Union” and make another excuse for trying for a border poll to create a united Ireland (never gonna happen). If these cunts hate being part of the UK, why don’t they fuck off to some European shithole such as Dublin?

  12. Every time this ugly sow comes on the box I press the mute button.
    It’s hardly likely she’s changed her tune, so there’s no point in listening to the stupid bastard.
    I was in favour of keeping the UK together, but if it means I won’t have to see or hear this egotistical moron any more, then bring on the fucking vote.
    A better idea would be to maroon this cunt on an island off the Shetlands and tell her she’s got the independence she wanted.

  13. Someone needs to give this playmobil gorgon a kick in the cunt someone like Jane Torvill or Franz Klammer.

    • Thank You Monsieur. Your description of Krankie as a ‘Playmobil Gorgon’ has now resulted in me spraying my wall, couch and the cat in wine as I started laughing at the same time as taking a swig of vino upon reading your original and spot on likeness of the Jock-Witch Sturgeon.
      Excellent cunting sir.

  14. How about this for a way forward, have another referendum about Scottish independence. If the majority vote for independence then so be it as soon as possible. If the majority vote against then for the time being the status quo remains.
    At least this may put an end to the annoying whinging and whining from the higher echelons of the SNP which are starting to really fucking annoy me as the constant grinch like comments interfere with my appreciation of St Hugh of Grant, Greta Thundertwat and other wise and wonderful people who are so much more enlightened about everything than thick, racist ,bigoted me.

  15. Can we all please stop giving this fucking tranny any more air time please.
    She’s a fucking CUNT and everyone knows it.

    • Barney@
      Said it on here few times, love scotland love the scots.
      See them as brothers in arms!
      Ok had a few nasty scraps, what brothers do!
      I want England, scotland, wales, N.ireland to prosper leaving the EU,
      I want our coffers flowing with trade deals, arms manufacturing, ship building etc a rebirth!!
      That poisonous little twat sturgeon hates the english an stirs up hate.

      • Breaking news – 17 dead in Bradford in what was initially reported as “a therapist incident”

        Turns out not, it was just a bunk bed collapsing

        Police are blaming Al-Ikea..

        I’ll get several coats

      • At last a genuine reason for buying cheap scandi furniture or hadn’t they included the manual in 50 languages

  16. I remember leaving hospital ( still quite unwell ) and posting on this site I would still fuck her.

    Forgive me…..I was very ill at that time,

  17. My wish for the coming year is for tiny tears McMerkel to lose her voice, preferably by losing the gormless appendage that voice comes out of. Fuck up woman, there must be some little stone bridge in the outer Hebrides that you can go and squat under.

    • I think that whining drone, coupled with that sour,pursed expression of a bulldog chewing a wasp on a piss-stained nettle, that makes her so incredibly resistable to the majority of us Gutstick.

      • Ron, I wish the great Peter Cook was still alive, he could have put his great big hobnail boots on, and kicked her in the cunt for half an hour, til he was exhausted, then asked her for a Polaroid.

  18. She does the Scots no favours , an arrogance beyond belief just seeking her place in the history books as the one that got independence done no matter as to what the resultant costs will be, get used to Nordic levels of taxation and excise duty if that’s what you want.
    Probably the nastiest politician in the UK at the moment

  19. Mmmm…
    There’s a lot of TUTA talk going on over on the Elisabeth Banks nom at the moment, but nothing on here. I can’t think why…

  20. Speaking of Nicola Sturgeon, let’s talk assholes.

    Something here on ISAC confuses me. All the talk of ‘tongues up arseholes’ and who you would stick yours up. Why would any sane man want to stick his tongue up even the most attractive females arsehole? It perplexes me. You want your tongue (possibly) on turd inside someone’s poo hole?

    Good luck to you with that. I wouldn’t inflict my bumhole on anyone.

    HMM are you really a nurse? the rectum is not a poo storage area, more of a “bus stop” the sigmoid colon evacuates into the rectum and you can normally feel that coming.

    • Things can get a bit er weird on here sometimes Nurse, thanks to the appetites of certain individuals who must remain unnamed. But as I pointed out in the post above, there is a certain consistency in their craving. There’s a lot of enthusiastic TUTA talk over on the Elisabeth Banks nom, and none on this one. At least the guys have certain standards.

      • Evening Nurse & Ron@
        Think mostly the TuTa talks in jest,
        banter, a joke before I Joined, got to admit it puzzled me a bit when first came on this site!
        You both well I hope?
        Nice not to be in work and spend time with my girls, mrs miserable, ms miserable jr , and my spoilt dog.😀

      • Evening Miserable. Yes I’m very well thanks, although trying to shake off the excesses of the festive season. Hope you’re in fine fettle too. Bloody hell, it all kicks off again next week. I’ll be in the great city of Edinburgh, where no doubt the beloved subject of this nom will be telling us all yet again that 2020 will be the year of indyfuckingref2 or some such similar shite. I think the ugly wee shite’s mouth runs off nuclear power.

      • Yes she loves to talk does lego head,
        Cant shut her up.
        She does grave damage to relations between England and Scotland,
        A true shit stirrer and no friend of either country.
        You take care of yourself pal, your big birthday soon eh?😊👍👍

      • Evening MNC.

        Yep, well here thanks. Post-Christmas binging on the left over cupcakes I baked with a big old mug of brew! My best wishes to you and your family.

      • Indeed, Sir Ron.

        I can fully concur with them that a rimming of old fish face would not be particularly appealing.

        Not that I swing that way of course. I like pork, not beef curtains (those are the medical terms, don’t you know)

      • Sorry, RTC.

        I am usually quite good on getting the ‘arse’ right in arsehole. An oversight on my part.

    • I would have to agree with you on that nurse. All this talking of rimming makes me feel sick. On the other hand, it could be due to the skinful I’ve just had.

      • Yeah, getting a taste of someone’s grunty doesn’t appeal to me. I have been known to say I’d drink a bath full of her piss just to see where it came from, but I’m not sure I’d go through with it, even for the hottest of hotties.

      • I once got a right fucking shower from a fucking police horse while in the crush outside Villa Park. My mates all thought it was hilarious as I stood steaming on the Holte End. Can’t think why. Cunts.

      • Might have known you’d be into water sports Blunty!
        Bet that Percy’s a right little scat merchant too.

    • Just to at least try and explain if I can Nurse Cunty…….

      The act of sticking ones tongue up a females bumhole is not a perverted act as first perceived……

      It actually tends to be a complimentary term given to a woman who despite her poor political stance, lesbianism, man hating, crap dress sense, Labour party membership, feminazi views, veganism, EU remoan activism (you get the picture) would still get fucked purely based on her physical looks.

      The act of sticking your tongue up someone’s sticky starfish is a sign that you like them despite their attitude/outlook on life that is the polar opposite of your own.

      By saying (publically) you’d stick your tongue up their asshole actually means despite the fact they are a cunt, their physical features are enough to overlook the fact that they are god awful cunt. It also slightly implies that their bum hole being licked will somehow bring them back to normality or even redeem them after the event in the mind of the bum-hole licker (although no evidence exists to suggest)

      This is about the jist of it NC, although variations of the above do exist and I’m happy to be corrected. Also remember real-life mouth to ass activity does exist mainly in the porn industry or due to excessive use of recreational narcotics between otherwise unadventurous couples.

      Hope this helps somewhat…..

      • Fucking hell Count. So even if a woman wasn’t attractive, it is a form of endearment to stick your tongue in her bumhole?

        Now THAT is dedication and sacrifice for you!

      • I must admit I was a bit confused when I first started looking on ISAC I thought I had stumbled on some weird fetish site because of the frequent remarks about tonguing Priti Patel’s arsehole. After a while I realised it was perfectly normal conversation and I was the weirdo.

    • I trust Nurse Cunty in all things medical. If she says shit is coming down the pipe, I believe her.

    • Yes, ok Admin. I knew there would be some pedantic cunt who would correct me on that when I was writing it. I wasn’t referring to the literal Gray’s Anatomy description of where shit is stored. I know it isn’t the rectum, but let’s face it, shit does PASS through there on it’s way out to escape.

      Hmm, are you really an admin and not a member of the GMC?

  21. Fucking hell Your Countship. This discourse is worthy of a place in the Encyclopaedia Brittanica. A top notch piece of erudition dear sir!

    • Thank you most kindly Sir-Knee!

      I actually found the explanation in a 1627 edition of the Cuntshire English Dictionary in my manor’s extensive libaray. A codex that has literally been translated from Latin.
      Literally found it under ‘bum-hole licking for Gentle folk and the common man’ ……(can you believe it sir)
      A great volume apparently translated from ancient Venetian scrolls??

  22. Boris should just give them a 2nd referendum but first do an opinion poll referendum in England, Wales and NI to see what the rest of us think – I think the gobby, tax payer-sponging cunts will soon clam up when the result is a fuck sight more unanimous than the supposedly “too close to call” 52-48% of Brexit. Miserable Jock cunts.

  23. It’s a shame the SNP have become the mouth piece for Scotland, with gobshites like Krankie and that pompous Turd Blackford sporting their anti English hate- can you imagine English politicians using the same vehement never ending shite? So what’s the plan? Join the EU, no fucking way are the Germans or French going to sign that off, they’re the poor cunts who would need need to subsidise them, and they have enough “dependants” already. This is just a ploy from the “canny” Scots as to who can be the sugar daddy who can give the most. Also fuelled by anti English propaganda like fictional films like “Brave-fart”, this was hundreds of years ago in a time these cunts could not even envisage let alone imagine, if Hollywood says its so its so, wake up fuck cunts and learn real British history and the real events. What about the 1st and 2nd world wars where Brits fought and dead for this union, use that history as it’s more recent and verified. Fucking Union/English hating CUNTS! Give us a vote on these cunts membership, they would get the voting shock of their life’s!

  24. As a ‘scot’ as in I was born in Scotland and live in Scotland. I don’t see any fucking attraction with the SNP at all.
    i think all politics is a non event for me. I have no interest in any of it as it gives me a monumental head fuck and i don’t really care for any of these egotistical psychopaths the time or more importantly, my energy.
    Why can’t i be left alone?,………….

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