I would like to nominate these irritating bastards, which are doing my frazzled nut in of late.

Every time you get on a website, the box from hell emerges out of the ether, asking you to ‘Please allow/accept cookies’ and a load of other blah, blah, blah shite about, ‘We value your privacy’ (my arsehole)

The only fucking cookies I would gladly accept are the type that come with big, fuck-off chunks of chocolate in them, accompanied by an equally big, fuck-off mug of tea, but if you fail to click on these cunts, they hang around like Queen Elton John on Hampstead Heath of a night, annoying your browsing experience.

Yes, I get that they legally have to ask to ‘collect my data’ (whatever the fuck that means) but for the sake of fuck, some of these pop-ups are like herpes…..you struggle to get rid of the bastards, even after clicking. Sometimes they actually breed, like Katie Price popping another one out of her expansive vag….Oh, look! there’s another one……

Fucking cunts.

Nominated by Nurse Cunty

Website Privacy Pop-ups…

Yes, I know this is a real shit nomination that would probably only appeal to the saddo techie heads out there (myself included). But I have to say ever since GDPR came out in May 2018 I am sick to death of these constant “We value your privacy” pop-ups whenever you visit a website in the UK. Doesn’t matter what site you visit, if its your first time you’ll get the pop-up which will give you one or two options either to accept or refuse cookies. Or if you’re lucky there maybe a third option where you can “manage” the cookies the site wants to dump on your device.

The only problem with this 3rd option is that you then have to wade through a lot more options including fairly meaningless things like “Information Storage and Access”, “Personalisation”, “Ad Selection, delivery and reporting” and “Measurement” to name but 4. But should you choose to care there’s a shitload more privacy options that you may want to switch off.

But let’s face it who the fuck has got the time or the inclination to constantly toggle options on every fucking site you visit? So you think “fuck this for a game of tiddlywinks” and just click the “Accept” option, from which point you’ll get weighed down with shitloads of ads and pop-ups when you finally get to the site you want to scope.

This wouldn’t be so bad on a PC or laptop, but on a smartphone or tablet the constant popups not only get in the way of what you’re trying to read/watch, but also slows down your bandwidth as well as eat into your data management if you’re unlucky enough to be on a metered contract.

So you have a choice: spend ages switching all the options off in order to value your privacy; or think “fuck the consequences” and just accept everything and forever be fucked with spam, ads, pop-ups and possibly viruses and malware.

Nominated by Technocunt

It’s been a glorious few days, listening to the excuses given for the disastrous result for labour and the Lib Dem’s at the election. With labour, Corbyn blames Brexit, others blame Corbyn, some blame both. The limps are blaming the unfair pact between the tories and the Brexit party, even though they had a similar pact with other leave sympathetic parties, the cunts.

However, in their rush to blame others, they fail to look at themselves, as they are mostly unappealing, to even their own parties, never mind the public. This is apparent, as with both parties, there is not one cunt amongst them who is clearly considered a leader in waiting. The Cunt is dead, long live the Cunt,….

Nominated by Gutstick Japseye

Well these dickheads protesting in London last night about election results. You know the democratically election.

Some got arrested I’d shoot all of them.

It’s strange how antifa are one of most facist organisations on earth of course if you are Muslim they will protect your right to be a racist hateful scumbag.

Bunch of cunts and the peacefuls friend.

Nominated by Johncunty

? All together now ?

?
Are you joining the Job Centre queue ?
? All along, down along, out along lea
Are you joining the Job Centre queue ?
With David Gauke
? Anna Soubry
Jo Swinson
Dominic Grieve
Zac Goldsmith ?
Nigel Dodds
Laura Pidcock
Chukka Ummana
Dennis Skinner ?
Philip Hammond
Amber Rudd ?
Rory Stewart
Ollie Letwin
And Uncle Tom Watson and all
And McDonnell and Corbyn as well!!!! ?

Nominated by Chas C Music

What is it with leftists thinking that everyone shares their political opinion? You’d think after umpteen recent elections (UKIP 2014/Cameron 2015/Brexit 2016/Brexit Party 2019/Boris 2019) showing them otherwise, that they might just take the hint?

But no, I’ve had several of these idiots attempt to strike up ‘conversation’ with me, starting with things like, “You’ll have to excuse my bad mood today, I’m still fuming about Johnson winning.”

I haven’t bitten yet, but I’m close (it mostly takes place at work).

It would be interesting to know if others are experiencing similar stuff and if anyone has gone on a rant at them yet?

Yes, tens of thousands of you protest on the streets against Brexit and just a few hundred in favour. However, the only number that counts is at the ballot box.

Nominated by One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Cunt

Grammarly. God, this company is annoying.

Their adverts are annoying, their encouragement and perpetuation of laziness when it comes to spelling is annoying, the fact they’re trying to convince you to pay a small fortune for something the likes of Word/Libra/OpenOffice already do, is annoying.

Fuck these cunts.

Nominated by The Rt Hon Earl Opinionated de Cunt

I want to cunt a personal issue, hip arthritis.

It started about 3 years ago with a simple walk across the office, a bit of pain occurred. Six months later it still hurt, so off I toddled to see the quack. X-rays later and yup, arthritis it is. Gradually the pain became stronger. I had cortisone injections, but eventually it’s fucked. It varies, sometimes it just hurts, sometimes it is fucking unreal.

I’m wobbling around like a fucking weeble, but I do fall down. Today I stumbled down a couple of stairs at work, ironically on the way to hospital for pre-surgery assessment. Providing I’m clear of MRSI, I’m having a shiny new one on Tuesday. Pain is a cunt, constant pain is beyond cunt, if there is such a thing.

Fingers crossed I won’t cark it on Tuesday and I’ll dance on for a few more years.

Nominated by Bertram Cuntatious. DCO

I would very much like to nominate irresponsible hill/mountain walkers.

After recently moving to the Lake District a week doesn’t go by without reading of some party of twats ending up getting lost on mountains that surround the Lake District.

Usually these fucking clowns are tourists wearing the most basic hill-walking footwear; they don’t bother with proper boots or thick clothing or hi-viz jackets, torches or even a flask of fucking tea! Instead they just stroll up a mountain just because its a nice clear day at ground level. They don’t bother with the weather forecast, and they assume they will get a good signal for their phones.

But as soon as they get to the top they realise how quickly the weather can change; low level cloud suddenly appears and the next minute you’re walking around in thick fog and totally disorientated. Moreover, temperatures can drop in minutes from being suitably warm to unbearably cold.

So typically the mountain rescue services are called out to find these fuckers, risking life and limb for their troubles. Admittedly some of these twats are humbled and grateful. But what really grates are those cunts who, once back home safe and sound, start playing the blame-game on social media; even to the point of criticising the rescue service for being so slow finding them!

This doesn’t just apply to hill and mountain climbers, but twats who fuck about on rivers, lakes and seas; who end up getting into difficulty and expect to be rescued.

Irresponsible selfish thick cunts should just freeze to fucking death, the cunts!

Nominated by Technocunt