OMID SCOBIE:

Please put that fairy cake down and raise a glass of soya milk to toast young Mr. Scobie, who looks a right jessie, who has been “responsible” – I use the word losely, you understand – for all the crap we have been reading about Mrs. Hewitt in recent times:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8257177/Prince-Harry-Meghan-Markle-interviews-two-journalists-writing-flattering-biography.html

What is it about royal-by-marriage commoners that they feel they have to reveal all to nancy boys?. Diana did it with Andrew Morton and Paul Burrell, the florist, formerly her rock. Now the Markle tart has done it with this mincing heap of shit. Look at the wanker – he looks about 15, and should have been out playing with Gary Glitter rather than worrying his little head about affairs of state.

Coronavirus and a spoilt over-priviledged half-caste tart feeling sorry for herself 0 and they wonder why newspaper sales are down. Fuck off Scobie duckie/

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Baseball caps

One good aspect of the suspension of sports because of the Coronavirus crisis is that we no longer have to see jerks like Lewis Hamilton, Roger Federer or Tiger Wood giving press conferences wearing baseball caps with the name of a sponsor on them. (“Titleist” is my favorite although I don´t know what it is advertising. Presumably not tits.) None of these overpaid fannies actually plays baseball.

Having said that, I have to admit to being a bit of a hypocrite here as I wear baseball caps all the time. (No. I am not a baldie trying to hide the receding hairline!) However, I keep losing them and am currently mourning the following – “Scotland”, “Glasgow Celtic”, “Cape Town”, “Namibia” and “Natal – Lugar do Sol” (a resort in the north east of Brazil I visited). I am now wearing a “Paris Saint Germain” cap but it will probably have gone by the time you read this. They usually go amiss after I have had a few.

I wonder if there are other baseball cap wearers among ISACers and what would be written on them. Fiddler is an obvious “Fuck Off”, BWC would be the Rolling Stones tongue logo and Ron Knee would need a whole top hat for his Nietzsche-like musings on the world.

Nominated by Mr Polly

Cat Williams

A cunting please for Cat Williams. Why, do you ask? Well, she is an NHS worker. This means that she has been elevated amongst all the other workers of that institution to a Pantheon of Gods, greater even than Zeus and his Mount Olympus fellows, by the British public amidst a cacophony of clapping and pot banging to the tune of an old giffer moaning over ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’.

This has all gone to her head somewhat, after some cunts have driven into her car and not left a note (may their skulls be broken in a nasty accident) She has been left with moderate damage to her car, shit for her and normally I’d feel sorry for her and that would be that and instead I’d be cunting that self obsessed “comedian” Joel Dommett and his boring lockdown documentation (please can someone cunt him for me). However, she then goes to Piers Morgan, ITV News, BBC News and the Twatteratti to sort this out: https://mobile.twitter.com/catnwilliams/status/1253674522806550528

Now, let me have a guess why she did this… Ooh, the news will doubtless talk about this, or perhaps that loudmouth Morgan, and car companies will be begging to give me a better and better car until I get a Ferrari, or there will be some fucking Just Giving appeal to get her a new car. The marketing departments will be queuing up to lavish her with one. Already people are offering this ‘Hero’ their own cars (liberally using the word hero these days also needs a cunting). Well, here is my suggestion: keep using you battered car and call your fucking insurance company, that is what it is there for.
Trust me, you will have the time as all the shops are letting NHS workers queue jump in their attempt to outdo one another with their shitty, hand wringing marketing ploys. (I overheard the security bloke at my local Tesco say they don’t need to be on duty, just if they have ID). Maybe if she spent less time sharing Guardian articles on her Twatter about how the virus is waycist she could also call her insurance company. Fuck me, if the economic stagnation doesn’t kill companies their gifting to NHS workers will. It is shit, but that is the job you signed up for, the same way soldiers in the army didn’t have to worry too much until that Uber cunt Blair decided to wage war in the Middle East, but I don’t see the same amount of fawning being given to them, and that has been 19 years of shit.

Nominated by Fortress Cuntimus

Experts! The “Experts” who are presently advising our thick moronic dunderheads, elected ( by us ) to manage the country on our behalf.
The “experts” can’t even agree on any strategy or advice, yet agree that only the most Draconian measures are necessary to protect the public. These academics are the typical fuddy heads, up their own academic arsehole who have no fucking insight into the massive harm they do.
Worse even than the dumb cunt politicians who have given them free reign to fuck about with the country. By the time these twats are finishAsteroided, so too will we be.

I always thought it possible that the UK would be destroyed by way of warfare, Asteroid strike or a Labour Government. Never inm all my days did I think we would be fucked by an “Expert”

And why are we to be fucked? Because the Experts say we’re to be fucked, yet the thing they warn us of, is fast turning into a crock of shite.

Fuck the experts, lets have some common sense instead.

Nominated by Asimplearsehole