Faith healers
Faith healers are cunts, aren’t they.
Fortuitously we haven’t got many of these confidence tricksters in old Blighty. Perhaps we’re too cynical, perhaps we’re not gullible enough, perhaps we’re just too savvy. Nonetheless these snakes are still plying their nonsense across the globe.
Pastor Frankline Ndifor worked tirelessly as a faith healer in Cameroon. The “prophet” claimed that he was able to cure Covid-19. He was also a candidate in the central African state’s last presidential election.
It was going extraordinarily well until… he contracted Covid 19. Years of fleecing individuals by placing his hands on them and telling them that they’ve been cured has ended badly; the pastor died less than a week later.
It’s been more than three days and the charlatan still hasn’t “risen.”
Awkward.
Nominated by Captain Magnanimous
Barry Island in South Wales
It has come to my attention that due to the inexplicable popularity of TV ‘comedy’ Gavin and Stacey, the reputation of Barry Island is going through something of a renewal.
Well, my childhood was blighted by a period spent there, and I had the extreme misfortune to have a near encounter with it again in more recent years and I’m here to tell you what – despite the best efforts of fat twat Corden to portray it as some kind of haven of working-class whimsy – it truly is.
Barry Island is the ulcerated, prolapsed anus of all Creation, and even seeing its name on a road sign could give your soul cancer.
In the event of a zombie apocalypse it will be the only place of safety due to the fact that even a walking heap of rancid decay that smells worse than a maggot’s minge would be too disgusted to set foot in it.
In any just universe it would be scraped off the face of the Earth like the leprous scab it is and dropped into the core of the sun to burn for a billion years.
Barry Island is a cunt. And it’s not even a fucking island.
Nominated by: Chimp Licker
National Union of Students
Well fuck me sideways, the old BBC continue to mollify the snowflake dark keys. It seems those delicate flowers need “counseling” to recover from the death of old lag George Floyd:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-53024298
They need vast resources of mental health workers, niot to mention the expense to “mourn” or “have closure” on a scumbag they never met.
Every day this week their “news” (sic) website has included one of these “why are we treated so bad” stories, each more ludicrous than the last.
I suspect the BBC are encouraging race riots so they will have another big story when the Covid19 soap opera ends it’s daily afternoon broadcast on BBC1, which I doubt they can drag in for much longer 7 days a week.
Nominated by: W. C. Boggs
Cressida Dick [3]
You certainly are love
Cressida Dick, alleged Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police, needs a serious cunting. Ever since Extinction Rebellion started causing trouble, on her watch, it seems to have become standard operating procedure for the police to stand back and do fuck all, why cunts like the aforementioned cause countless damage to property, drop their fucking signs and other rubbish all over the place, and generally behave like they escaped from a zoo. But the latest incident, in which a police officer on patrol in London had the shit kicked out of him, then had to suffer the humiliation of having assorted laughing scum take selfies while he was on his knees, that in my opinion has proved beyond doubt that Cressida Dick (appropriate surname) is not in any way, shape of form, fit to lead a duck to water, never mind the UK’s largest police force.
This is the woman who was responsible for the operation that ended in the shooting of John Charles De Menezes back in ’07 for the heinous crime of jumping a barrier at the tube. Ok, he was a cunt for doing that so soon after a vicious terror attack, but the penalty for that should not have been death. In my opinion, Dick was given the job as a diversity hire. She’s a woman, and gay. Two boxes ticked right their. Since then, she has been an unmitigated disaster. What little respect the police had left, has gone entirely. Look at her actions over the past couple of weeks. She allowed her officers to stand on Westminster Bridge on a Thursday and flash the lights and sirens on their vehicles while the plods themselves clapped like zoo seals hoping a keeper will throw them a fish. And despite the public backlash over it, the next week, she decided to get in on the action herself.
One of my biggest complaints about this cunt, is her willingness to spend thousands of pounds on a ‘ceremonial uniform’, with comes with one of the biggest lanyards I’ve ever seen. When I was in the army, I had to buy my own stable belt because even though it was considered part of the uniform, it was not issued. Likewise, when I got my third tape, I had to buy my own mess dress, which is that poncey jacket that only goes to the waist, and trousers. It cost me three grand, because it had to be custom made. Yet this utter waste of life, this failed experiment, was allowed to charge hers to the taxpayer.
Cressida Dyke, is the WORST commissioner of police that the Met has EVER had. Despite the fact the police are supposed to be politically neutral, they are not. Over the past ten to fifteen years, they have lurched increasingly leftwards, and it got worse under Dyke. If she had any honour, she would resign in shame. But being a full on lefty, she has neither honour nor shame. She is a massive cunt.
Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw
And seconded with this:
Cresida Dick – it could have been many others but this Is about the MET police I was going to say force but sorry it is now a service and therefore it is about those in charge.
This interview sums up the trouble we are in.
if you constantly tell people that this country has done you wrong, it’s not your fault, you don’t have a job or are poorly educated or your dad fucked off before you were born, and That the ‘norma’ society must pay for the sins of people 200 years ago and you encourage, through complicity, your police Force to take a knee before these people, this is what you get a total cuntfest and the police are powerless to do anything about it. I could blame loads of people for this but I am laying this one squarely at her door and the cunts who support this BLM BULLSHIT that is leading us down a very worrying path. Tonight (25th June) the night time temps will be 20 degrees, perfect riot weather and I would’t be surprised if some minor Perceived slight against the BAME community (Such as copper not carrying home a BAME’s shopping) will be an excuse for fucking anarchy and mayhem.
Nominated by: Cuntsince1066
Internet Porn is a cunt and a prick and tits and ‘milfs’ and and blowjobs and GET A GRIP MAN but the only thing I’m gripping is my knob. And ‘Licking Pussy’ and ‘Doggiestyle’ ‘Cougars’ but what am I saying you know the terminology cunters veterans as you are of this ‘pastime’.
There us no doubt in my mind Internet porn is a bummer. Poor choice of word there. Let’s start again.
Sex is a cunt. I’m knocking on 60! And still wracked by this insane desire. I thought it would have left me now. Or at least abated somewhat. But no I have my fortnightly drink and the next day I am randy as I ever was. And days can go by (as it just has) and the intense urge is still there. And there is the phone and it only a click away.
You see cunters I want to concentrate on the higher things not in an arse or a tit.
Yes, that’s it,-it is an addiction. There you are scrolling down in a frenzy and trying to get the picture the video that excites you but it is never quite as exciting as you would like. And you’re looking and looking for something you will never find in a sense. That can never satisfy. Her arse isn’t in the right position or she’s doing it too fast or that’s not how I like it exactly.
You know cunters this thing is really terrible. Mrs Plastic (who I’ll pass over quickly) reads to me posts on Mumsnet and very many of them are about their MAN losing all interest in sex. That’s because he’s watching sexy young things on Internet Porn! And the poor older women cannot compete and they are left feeling loveless, unattractive. It really is a destructive fucker.
Nominated by Miles Plastic
Admin note, tricky subject Miles, I stopped buying condoms on offer years ago because they time expired!, so continue I will quit Isac and join the Mums net admin team and offer personal services.
Another Admin: Nothing wrong with a bit of IP once in awhile. Certainly beats the old days back in the 70s and 80s when you had to enter a newsagents for your topshelf goodies, and then wait at the counter to pay, only to find a nubile young wench giving you a very disapproving “look” when she gives you your change! (So I’m told anyway)