Hayfever.

The sun is out, the birds are singing, my eyes are itchy and my nose is constantly blocked. Yes, it’s hayfever season again – that time of year when sufferers like me have our eyes and noses assailed by merciless pollen. The unrelenting itchiness, the sore nose, the perennial discomfort and inability to breathe out of the nostrils – the pollen inflicts all these things and more with reckless abandon, sneaking up on you like a trojan horse primed and ready to attack. Truly, if God does exist then he must be one sadistic motherfucker to have invented hayfever

Nominated by General Tso’s Chiggun.

If I could crave the indulgence of this honourable circle. I should like to advance my maiden cunting. Wishing to leave the weightier issues of the day to those of you more erudite and eloquent than I

I submit Dr Mark Avery co-founder of Wild Justice, now this piece of excrement after causing chaos last year with his ill thought out legal challenge to the general licenses that cover pest and vermin control, has steadfastly refused to flush and is back with more mischief regarding the release of game birds. Again, using technicalities inherent in EU legislation, and having no consideration to the fact we are in the grip of a pandemic this uber turd attempted to steam roller this through the court.

He failed, even DEFRA described the case as “vexatious and pointless”. He and his WJ cronies are not done yet! And have more Judicial Reviews to pull out of their arses. All of this crowed funded by the tofu munching soshul meedja crowd and orchestrated by a dodgy left-wing law firm.

To summarise, this weasel who tells everyone and anyone “I’m a scientist” as if that makes his opinion immediately superior, his hypothesis is “it’s very naughty to shoot birdies and bunnies” This is backed up by the extensive research conducted by his mate Cwiss (Packham), whose conclusion is “it’s very naughty to shoot birdies and bunnies”

Not only is this piece of work an utter cunt but a fat sweaty one at that.

Nominated by: Creedence Clearwater Cunt

Drugs

The curse of our age. The reason why millions of lives have been and are being ruined. I don´t understand why people take them and why they are seen to be “cool”. I´ve recently visited places like Cracolandia in downtown São Paulo and the Tenderloin/Soma district in San Francisco where junkies are literally dying in front of your eyes. These people have lost their self-respect and human dignity – all for a blast of crack that gives them a sensation that lasts a few seconds. While they are the human face of suffering, there is an enormous economic cost.

The Investopaedia site says that Americans buy $150 billion worth of cocaine, heroin, marijuana and meth annually and that the federal government requested $35.1 billion for the National Drug Control Budget for this year. It also highlighted a 2014 report by the London School of Economics called “Ending the Drug Wars.” It said the global strategy of drug prohibition had “produced enormous negative outcomes and collateral damage,” including “mass incarceration in the U.S., highly repressive policies in Asia, vast corruption and political destabilization in Afghanistan and West Africa, immense violence in Latin America, an HIV epidemic in Russia, and an acute global shortage of pain medication,” among other “systematic human right abuses around the world.”

I don´t see anything has changed since then. I´ve never taken drugs even when I was a student. I certainly don´t approve of them but it´s obvious that the current campaigns to combat them have failed. I wonder if it´s time to legalize them or bring their use under control. After all lots of legal drugs are also harmful and addictive.

Nominated by Mr Polly

Please send monies

Tanzania has defeated the disease through prayer according to their president, John Magufuli. Just over 500 cases have been reported in a country of nearly 60 million people.

Hallelujah

This has nothing to do with the crackdown on anyone who dares raise concerns about the virus’s spread in his East African country or the government’s response to it. Tanzania’s government definitely isn’t hiding the true scale of the pandemic, no, no, no.

In March, Mr Magufuli ordered three days of national prayers against COVID-19 and has since said they have been answered.

Testify

If this is the case, then why have hospitals? If a family visits the hospital to see Grandad and tells the nurse that they’ve all been praying for him, does that mean the nurse can give the ventilator to somebody else? He won’t need it. Somebody without divine help could benefit from it.

Clearly, Praying works. Prayers are always answered and Praying is certainly not a thought placebo performed by empty-eyed, gullible wingnuts.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

OFCUNT perhaps more apt

Miriam Margolyes received several hundred complaints for her comments about Boris Johnson on pile of shite, ultra diverse, channel 4 ‘comedy’ show, the last leg. Her comments were that she “hoped Boris Johnson would die of coronavirus”. Now you would think wishing death on someone and declaring it on TV would be enough to warrant at least a reprimand from OFCOM. Nope, they have decided to not investigate the matter any further. They say that because after the initial comment, wishing Boris Johnson would die, she said she maybe wouldn’t want that to happen, everything is hunky dory. So that obviously means you could wish mass genocide on a whole race of people on TV and as long as afterwards you said, well maybe I don’t, no issues.

If that comment had been made about David Lammy, Diane Abbott, Queer Starmer etc. The fucking leftie police wouldn’t rest until someone was strung up. But because it’s bumbling Boris, fuck it no one is interested.

Fuck all of TV and their agendas, cunts.

Nominated by elcuntio