In extreme old age I mean. It used to be called ‘your dotage’. Grandad or Grandma losing their faculties. Seems quite natural to me. Your body declines and so does your sharpness of mind. Just slowing down it seems to me.

We’ve had a spate of ‘diagnoses’ recently. The latest is Bobby Charlton. Manchester United released this statement- “Everyone at Manchester United is saddened that this terrible disease has afflicted Sir Bobby Charlton and we continue to offer our love and support to Sir Bobby and his family.”

Terrible disease? Really? He is 84 or something. Sean Connery has just died- there was mention of Dementia with him as well. He died aged 90. I just think it’s your faculties giving out.

Sometimes it’s almost inferred someone or other didn’t die of old age or ‘natural causes’ but died of Dementia.

I’m not going on about Alzheimer’s here. Because that does affect younger people. They can see the brain wastage on x-ray.

It is said a lot of the 1966 World Cup players have had Dementia because of heading the ball. I am sceptical of that as well.

Another thing I really dislike is hearing someone has died aged 89 or something ‘having suffered dementia for many years’ and their family and friends are ‘deeply shocked’.

Instinctively I feel all this is simply not accepting death. There must always be a medical reason instead of people simply dying of old age.

Nominated by: Miles Plastic

I think a solid for Jacinda Ardern is due. I was going to say a maiden cunting, but it appears she had a brief nomination in 2019.

She has just appointed a new Foreign Minister, who is a Maori with a fucking great splodge of a “tattoo” on her face. Her main qualifications for the job seem to be a) she is Maori and b) she is a woman, although looking at her picture, you’d be hard pressed to know. She makes the Flabbot look trim and doable.

Where’s the class in this great office of state? I know the left wish to destroy the establishment, and replace it with their version of one, but for fuck’s sake. And what the fuck is wrong with the Kiwis for electing that piece of shit who would give Shergar a run for his money (if he was alive).

The whole world order is changing and I hate it. Why can’t they give us white blokes a little bit of the world where we will set up our own community with compulsory viewings of old war films, Bernard Manning acts and birds getting slapped on the arse in Benny Hill shows,

Nominated by: Lord Cuntingford

Not content at leaving the Country in Tiers [©T-T 2020], it seems our revered PM has at long last decided to go the whole hog.

The country has wised up this time, though. Clever people are now upping their game and will be entering this lockdown far better prepared than late March. Invoking innovative behaviours, from Panic Haircuts in Halesowen to Panic Parties in Peckham, the more savvy citizens have substantially upped their game from the mere crudity of pasta and panty-liner hoarding evidenced in Spring.

Now that Ground Control to Major Cunt has been wheeled out again, we should definitely not take our eye off the ball. As the Greatest living Yorkshireman might say “We never gave in”… and neither should we.

To be sure a veritable welter of opportunities exist for yet more unoriginal and meaningless bullshittery, which will indupitably soon be revisited. Remember, remember the fifth of November: this year we may witness the letting off of oxygen cylinders (pilfered from redundant Nightingales) in conjunction with large-scale commercial fireworks on our doorsteps at 8pm. Rather more impressive than the altogether less effective onanistic ovatory ordure we became accustomed to of a Thursday evening during the Summer.

What a shower of cuntery. Forewarned is forearmed!

Nominated by: Terry-Thomas 

There are many reasons to nominate this piece of shit, but this one comes from something I’ve just read in the paper.

He was pictured on a day out at the beach with a ‘female friend’. Apparently, he was surfing. The thing is, he did in true ‘look at me, I’m a piece of shit soy boy tech billionaire, who has no respect for your privacy and who got rich selling YOUR personal information’ by ‘surfing’ on a hydrofoil board.

I’d never heard of these things, but apparently, it’s a normal surf board, but with a big hydrofoil stuck underneath it.

Why? Other than to advertise to people what a complete and utter cunt you are (which Zuckerberg really doesn’t need to do) there is no point to them. Real surfers wouldn’t touch a hydrofoil board with a blue whale’s dick because, although some of them are somewhat cuntish, they’re not THAT cuntish.

But that wasn’t enough cuntery for Zuckerberg, oh no. Because he was hydrofoil surfing, while wearing a fucking HELMET. Again, why? It’s water, you twat, not fucking steel. NOTHING screams “I’m soppy, android, pussy ass, completely risk averse bell end of a cunt” than wearing a fucking a helmet while on a board on the water.

What the actual fuck? If you’re THAT worried about getting hurt, don’t do it, cunt bubble.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

A quick cunting for the above fuckwits, please.

Just seen a clip of them on the news. A thread on these power-trip Walter-Mitty’s earlier had guesses on what sort of cunt this ‘job’ would attract, and, boy, were they correct.

The cunts I saw that were strutting their funky stuff in Magnum boots, combat trousers and ‘tac vests’ with bulging pockets (of what??) like SAS trainees, (cunts would fail to get in the Kings Own Cannon Fodder Regt.), were the usual bullet-headed cunts that wouldn’t pass a DBS check for the police and spotty little cunts that would fail the traffic warden exams.

When asked if they had any powers, the answer was of course ‘No’. Well, fuck off then. I’ll bet my pension the cunts see themselves on the same professional level as the police, too.

What a waste of time and money, but, not too surprising with this shower of cunts in charge.

Nominated by: DCI Gene Cunt