Bleak House

Why is this seemingly universally regarded as one of Dickens’s, and literature in general’s, greatest works?

I remember reading it in secondary school and abandoned it less than halfway through.

The plot is boring and convoluted, the characters are poorly fleshed out and 90% of the time you have no idea what’s going on.

The title is certainly accurate in my opinion, as for me it’s one of the most boring books ever written.

Nominated by: General Tso’s Chiggun

59 thoughts on “Bleak House

  1. If you want a dull novel try ‘Crime and punishment’. A turgid, self flagellating tome that I abandoned out of sheer boredom and wishing the narrator was suddenly hit by a train.
    Deal with it you maudlin cunt.

    • We did The Mayor of Casterbridge (never got past page 10) Julius Ceaser and a couple of others for O’ level English Lit. How I got a pass I have no idea as I only read 1 of the 4 books we were supposed to and I have no idea what it was.

    • I love ‘A Christmas Carol’. His description of walking round on Christmas Day are exquisite. Only one I’ve read.

    • Chuzzlewit and A Tale of Two Cities are the only other Dickens I’ve read. They’re both good, but still unnecessarily wordy. Give me Terry Pratchett any day of the week.

      • Chuzzlewit is possibly the worst Dickens, so you chose unwisely. I recommend virtually any other.

        Leave Terry Pratchett on the shelf with all the other books for kids/simpletons/hair sniffers. Almost as childish as Tolkien or C.S.Loser.

      • Eh, as bedtime reading when you want something light Pratchett more than does the job Cap’n.

      • I’m disappointed with your nomination, Tso’s Chiggun. It’s not right to nominate any of Dickens’ work. It seems a bit ‘woke-y.’ It’s part of our history and culture. You’ll be tugging down statues next.

        Note how nobody has tendentiously written ‘I love Dickens’ for fear of somebody shouting, ‘Look, look, he said I Love Dick!’, ha ha! (Probably our Les Miserable).

      • I’ll always defend it as a part of our culture but taken in purely literary terms it really can be a bit dull.

    • Anything by Beatrix Potter suits me fine.
      I’m off for a mug of camomile tea and a doze…
      Moliere can fuck off, although Sartre is OK in small doses. Chekhov (Anton), not the Star Trek bloke, is a boring bastard.

    • See now you say things like this Mis, but I’ve a hunch you know more than you let on.
      Every once in a while you say something quite profound, or you demonstrate you’ve a bit more knowledge than you’d have people believe.

      Like the time you mentioned there ‘being lots of Steptoe’s on here’ if you remember that?
      I got the hint.or perhaps I’m reading too much into it…..

      • Evening Harold,

        Always let people underestimate you, let them think whatever they like,
        That way when youve kicked their legs from underneath them they didn’t see it coming!
        😀😀
        You well mate?👍

      • See what I mean. Very astute.

        Aye I’m not bad.

        Just enjoyed a beer from round your neck of the woods. It wasn’t bad either. Robinson’s do some good ales, but I’m not so keen on Old Tom.

        Reading a book about Matthew Flinders.
        His maps of Australia’s coastline were supposed to be some of the most accurate maps ever made.

        Anyway, you’re a canny one I reckon at any rate.

      • Im naturally a fan of Robinsons brewed goods,
        And Old Tom is lethal!
        When on a spree with old mates we have a few,
        Effects the sea legs!!😁
        Have a old Tom advertising sign on my shed!

        Not heard of Mr Flinders Harold, sounds interesting.
        Im finding out about The Knights Templar at the moment,
        Wish theyd covered stuff like that at school.

      • Sorry mate, haven’t a clue. Don’t know a lot about the Johnners, either other than the fact that they’re ‘keen’!

      • Some people think they’re still around today. There is an organisation called the Knights Templar but it’s linked to the Freemasons and the Rosicrucians I think.

  2. It certainly wouldnt make a decent musical.

    Didnt mind Dickens at school. Preferable to fucking Shakespeare. Midsummer Night’s Dream has to be the gayest borefest ever written.

  3. Dickens and Shagspeare – all a load of pretentious bollocks. Just throw in some “Doth” and “toeth” and “slings and fuckin’ arro’s” and all of a sudden you’re a bleedin’ saint

    how about “i went darn the boozer with the lads, got pissed ‘ut my head. Met some tart with big tits, and fucked her up the carpark!” – Romeo & Juliet, revised 2021

  4. The Pickwick papers are marvelous. Dickens at his best. Bleak House though i agree is numbingly dense.
    Shatspeare at school was turgid turd boilng twaddle, but now i love some of the plays on talking books/radio. Still cannot bear to read it though.

    • Fuckin cultural wasteland on here!!
      The Bard.
      Im all for Shakespeare I am!
      Best of British 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
      Yanks cant touch us or the sliteyes, and forget the umbongos.
      Naw, Hamlet is great!
      But to my peasants shame I know it through Withnail & I.

      • It will only go from bard to verse Miserable, old white men are no longer relevant to todays yoot when we have lyrical geniuses like Stormzy and Little Mix.

    • @the cunt of montybisto

      I have an original, first edition of the Pickwick Papers here-passed down the family.

      As a present when aged 10, I recurved the complete works of Arthur Conan Doyle-which was a considerable step up from The Famous Five-my previous goto reading😀

      • Arthur Conan Doyle as portrayed by Arnie in the film,
        Marvelous.

        Ps the real one believed in fairies!

      • That Cottingley (spp?) fair.y thing proves that anybody can make bad judgments 😀

        Did you read The famous five? Old Enid would love IsAC-she was a real cunt-ignored her own kids whilst be the countries “favourite auntie”.
        Hated gypo’s, chavs, darkies…..
        Bravo Enid🥰

        Which character would you identify with?
        “Dick” maybe?
        I would be Timothy-a real dirty dog who spent far too much time licking girlies 😃👍

      • That Cottingley (spp?) fairy thing proves that anybody can make bad judgments 😀

        Did you read The famous five? Old Enid would love IsAC-she was a real cunt-ignored her own kids whilst be the countries “favourite auntie”.
        Hated gypo’s, chavs, dark-keys…..
        Bravo Enid🥰

        Which character would you identify with?
        “Dick” maybe?
        I would be Timothy-a real dirty dog who spent far too much time licking girlies 😃👍

      • Evening CG, I didn’t read the famous five books sadly,
        But did read a lot as a kid.
        Was a fan of ‘kidnapped’ and ‘Treasure island’ by Robert Louis Stevenson.
        Also Edgar Rice Burroughs Tarzan books.
        Tarzan mad as a kid,
        Remember Ron Ely in 70s?
        And his sidekick Jai?
        Dunno what a little mexican kid was doing in Africa?

      • Ron Ely looked like a clean cut, all Americunt football star, slicked back hair, the lot.

        Did you ever dream of being Tarzan? Nice bull elephant in the garden, couple of chimpanzee mates-be great for shopping trips Mis👍

      • Ron Ely looked like a clean cut, all Americunt football star, slicked back hair, the lot.

        Did you ever dream of being Tarzan? Nice bull elephant in the garden, couple of chimpanzee mates-be great for shopping trips Mis👍

    • Yes could never get more than half a page into any Shakespeare play.

      dickens never was forced to read it nor tried voluntarily. The few bits of films I’ve seen were so dark and…erm…dickensonian that I never wanted to try.

  5. Unless it has been made into a war film starring Lee Van Cleef or a “flash o’ tit” epic starring Gemma Arterton, it’s pretty unlikely that I’ll ever be interested in how bleak some fucking house might be.

    The Great Writers can Fuck Off and take their dribbling shite “classics” with them.

  6. Jane Austen must have been a right laugh. Very droll. Love her books. Observational humour aplenty.

    Dickens can be tedious as the nom points out. Some of his stuff is great. It would be a toss up for me as to my favourite of his, Great Expectations or American Psycho?

  7. Dickens’ work was intentionally dreary and dull. Reflective, and very much ‘of its time’.

    It has been favoured for study via its inclusion on the curriculum for decades.

    The works are relatively basic, and both characters and plot allow for easy dissection and framework analysis for students. Hard Times is particularly useful, due to its concise construction.

    Neither of Dickens’ works I would consider ‘literary masterpieces’. Bleak House is probably amongst the least inspirational. However, such works are invaluable as educational tools, as the structure of the modern novel is completely unsuitable.

  8. Soft cunts, should have took physics. Schrödinger wave equation much more fun. Most certainly not boring.

  9. You’ll be less than surprised to hear that the woke brigade are having a go at Dickens.
    The Dickens House museum in Broadstairs has been daubed with graffiti branding him a racist.
    Christ, is nothing sacred these days?
    These cunts won’t be happy til they’ve vilified all our cultural icons.
    Fuck them all to hell.

  10. That Wuthering Heights is the biggest pile of crap I have ever read. The two main characters are total cunts and so called romantic hero, Heathcliff is such a cunt he would make Hitler look agreeable. His ‘love interest’, Cathy, is also a prize cunt. All it is abuse and selfish cunts. A bit like Ye Olde EastEnders.

  11. Where’s the Dickens Porno parodies?

    David Cop A Feel
    Knickerless Nickelby
    A Tale Of Two Titties
    The Old Curiosity Knocking Shop
    Bleak Whorehouse
    Christmas Carol (aka Screwed-ge)

  12. I’ve not read Bleak House. The title sounds a bit depressing.

    Does anyone remember those books where it tells you a scenario, you get choices to decide what to do and must turn to the corresponding page? I have some somewhere.

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