A very quick cunting for corporate sharks E.ON.

Who are Eurohuns based in Essen, but in manoeuvres reminiscent of Putin’s sale of state assets to his chums, are part of the bewildering number of companies now flogging power from this country’s once-excellent national grid to those unfortunate cunts who like cooked food and warm houses in winter. Who put their prices up by 8% last time. Who have just created a kindergarten-themed lets-all-be-happy new customer account interface, without consulting any customers, to the best of my knowledge.

The new account is designed to
(a) Maximise the irritation of anyone not wanting a smart meter, and require that customer to do his own meter reading, monthly (see (c))
(b) By means of constant nagging, coerce the customer into a direct-debit arrangement.
(c) Reduce the billing interval from three to one monthly
(d) Cut the esteemed customer off if the cash doesn’t reach the E.ON coffers within a week of their outrageous bills being presented.
All this, under the rubric of “Cheerful Energy”. I kid you not. Sad to say, this makes me feel no happier about paying through the nose to a malevolent corporate whose profits last year were over £9 billion.

I’ve switched. Bulb isn’t a whole lot better, but at least it doesn’t insult my intelligence, and charges less.

Here is my reply to the tragically wounded, though obviously much reproduced, automatic email expressing E.ON’s sense of loss at my departure:

What convinced me to leave was your imposition of an entirely new account structure, with an infantile and patronising customer interface, the loss of 3-monthly billing, and constant pressure to make your access to my bank account trouble-free (for you) as, regardless of any savings you have made by this, your prices continued to rise.

I have switched to a company with far higher levels of customer satisfaction, offering cheaper prices. Although the corporate-friendly business model appears now to be universal, and quarterly billing is apparently obsolete, at least its website does not consist of kindergarten graphics and an Orwellian ‘don’t think about the price, be happy’ message.

 

There is no such thing as ‘cheerful energy’, playmates. Not if you’re paying for it.

Talking of customer satisfaction, google Mumsnet + E.ON, if you think I’m being too harsh on the cunts. Hell hath no fury…

Mumsnet EON Fury

Nominated by: Komodo

Tony Blair is envious of that grin.

An emergency cunting for this pansy ex-vicar, Labour MP for the Rhondda, who has seen fit to republish a cartoon, again questioning the intelligence of Brexit voters:

Link

You have to wonder at his mental faculties, that he insults a majority of his constituency and numerous ex Red Wall voters. Perhaps Dame Keir knows he can’t win, so encourages all his nancy boys and race baiters to come out of their loony bins, so he can blame them, rather than himself, when it all goes tits up again.

As for Bryant and his rictus grin, why does he (and Adonis and Mandy) think that sniffing and licking and worse round another blokes arsehole makes him superior to the rest of us. What a cunt.

Nominated by – W. C. Boggs

Carly Simon is a cunt.

Hasn’t done anything of note for decades (if ever), and she has dined out for years on ‘You’re So Vain’. A crap song anyway, but the way cunts in the media are so obsessed about who it’s (supposed to be) about.

Simon has deliberately kept people guessing about this record, and dropping hints about who it was aimed at, gaining tons of publicity in the process. And this ridiculous ‘quiz’ is still going. Who is You’re So Vain about?

Seriously, who fucking cares?

Carly Cunt’s Version

This version with The Stones is better.

The Stones’ Version

Nominated by: Norman

A la de da, hooray henry, pass me the gin please Tarquin cunting for the “sport” of dressage.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Some posh toff tart called Charlotte Dujardin (such a classical British surname) has become the most decorated UK wimminz Olympian.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/olympics/58000595

Her “sporting” achievement?

Getting a horse to prance about, stop, trot, stop, trot some more, and have wonderfully combed hair seems about the size of it.

Sport? This…is a fucking sport?

Fuck right off you posh prancing cunt.

Nominated by: GeneralZod

Apparently migrants are held in unacceptable conditions once they get out of their rubber dinghies. Oh dear.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-58019981

”Committee chairwoman and Labour MP Yvette Cooper wrote in a letter to Home Secretary Priti Patel that the holding room facility where migrants first arrive was “clearly unfit” for purpose.
She wrote: “Most people were sitting or lying on a thin mattress and those covered almost the entirety of the floor including the aisles between seats.
“Sharing these cramped conditions were many women with babies and very young children alongside significant numbers of teenage and young adult men.”

Perhaps the oh so caring Yvette should have a look at the homeless in her constituency of Castleford and surrounds. She might also enquire about the grooming undoubtedly going on there. And who is doing it.

Then she might consider why these people, coming from unspeakable shitholes over 2000 miles away can cross at least one and more likely numerous EU countries, which are not unspeakable shitholes, pay 1000s of Euros and risk their own and their children’s lives to be housed in basic accomodation in the UK. She might also like to consider where the fucking money they pay comes from.

France might be full of cunts but it isnt war torn. Neither is Spain, Italy, Greece and all points west to the Channel.

So let your heart bleed, Yvette. Then give a thought to British people and fuck the migrants.

Nominated by – Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Seconded by – the same Cuntstable Cuntbubble. Hmm

Racial disparity in policing and good old Yvette Cooper, again.

https://www.expressandstar.com/news/uk-news/2021/07/30/mps-racial-disparity-in-policing-remains-two-decades-after-lawrence-inquiry/

”Our inquiry has also identified persistent, deep-rooted and unjustified racial disparities in key areas including a confidence gap for BME communities, lack of progress on BME recruitment, problems in misconduct proceedings and unjustified racial disparities in stop and search. In those areas, we propose urgent action”

Let’s have look at these disparities.
Confidence gap in BME communities? Might have something to do with the inherent criminality of these communities perhaps?
BME recruitment? As far as I can see standards are ever lowered to encourage the cunts to join.
Stop and search? Well fuck me, the cunts are stabbing each other daily and preventing it is racist? There is also a figure, which an erudite cunter may know exactly, that a black Londoner is something like 9 times more likely to be a criminal than a white counterpart of the same age.

Yes, the racist cops have a lot to answer for.