Based on a book by a 19th century French cunt that runs to 5 fucking volumes, it dirges on for 3 fucking hours. 3 hours FFS! 3 hours of unrelenting, boring, mind rotting squalour and misery.

The film is even worse, because Russell Crowe CANNOT FUCKING SING!!
(Note to self : must cunt Russell Crowe)

Who in their right mind would want to sit through this shit?

And…. it’s the world’s longest running musical.

Wish I’d fucking written it.

Nominated by : Andrew Lloyd Webber
(Sour grapes, eh Andrew?…)