Category Archives: Football

Football [2]

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I’d like to to cunt the “Anyone But United” football “fans”

Now I’m a Liverpool fan, have been since I was a little shite and this may come as a shock to you but I can’t stand all these fucking cunts who cheer when teams they don’t support score against United especially when they seem to cheer them more than they cheer their own fucking team.

I take no pleasure in United losing unless of course it’s Liverpool handing out the beating, I rarely bother with football anymore because of all these tossers, along with the overpaid fannies who now play the game, shite atmosphere at the stadiums and Sky’s constant peddling of the “greatest league in the world”.

Maybe I should just cunt football…

Nominated by: Mr Cunty Pants

Nigel Clough, SUFC

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Sheffield United FC is a cunt for permitting the unrepentant convicted rapist Ched Evans to train with them.

Furthermore, Sheffield United Manager Nigel Clough needs cunting for saying he “hasn’t yet decided” whether or not to re-sign Evans. What is there to decide – surely it’s a no-brainer? Although with Clough, I guess cuntitude is in his genes.

Nominated by: Fred West

Wayne Rooney [3]

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Wayne Rooney is a prize cunt.

I have been a Stretford Ender man and boy for over 35 years. But I loathe this syrup wearing, whoremongering, moneygrabbing, skiving scouse twat.

The fact that this bellend is United captain: following greats like Robson, Buchan, Bruce, Law, Cantona, Charlton etc makes we want to puke…

With our back four (three? Whatever) already fucked this scouse bastard decides to kick some Hammers player in the knackers and gets a three game ban. He is just a cunt who is there for the money and he is a fucking liability.

Nominated by: Norman

Gary Neville

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Gary Neville is a cunt…

This crap moustached gobshite should (along with the rest of The Class Of 92) shut the fuck up…

Nominated by: Norman

Apparently, Gary Neville has written an autobiography which is really impressive as most footballers can’t even write their own names.

It really must be a rivetting read. ‘How I earned shed loads of dosh kicking a ball around on a bit of grass.’

Boring cunt.

Nominated by: Dioclese

BT Sport

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If I may nominate this BT ad: The face of a cunt!

Hate the fucking jasper in this picture. Why is this cunt staring out of me newspaper at me every sodding day? No idea who the cunt is. Do not care who the cunt is. Only know that the bugger is the personification of a cunt. Little arse lick on the bottom lip. Obviously lower ranks with very little between the ears but accustomed to taking a few big ones up the arse.

In fact recall me old mess sergeant in Burma peddling a little squaddie with a very similar piece of bum at a shilling a poke.

Cunt’s been saluting me arse for weeks now in me khazi. More satisfaction and cheaper than Andrex.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

( This is Gareth Bale. Plays for Spurs but rumoured to be trousering millions to fuck off to Real Madrid. BT confirm he will remain their anchor man even if he takes the move. Ironically, BT won’t be showing him on the pitch if he moves, because the rights to the Spanish League are owned by Sky Sports. How fucking delicious is that? Ed. )