For the past year or so I have not actually received any emails.
Instead I have people who are ‘reaching out to me’.

Replies to the various emails that I send have also included this ridiculous term.
“Thank you for reaching out to us”.

When I don’t reply to any of that twaddle I then get messages asking, “How can we take this conversation forward?”.

Who thinks of these fucking stupid terms and what mentality must you have to use them?

There is a new one……
It seems that people no longer ‘reply’ to enquiries, they don’t ‘answer’ you anymore.
They revert.

“Thank you for reaching out to us, we will revert to you”.

I was always taught to write as I would speak.
Plain English so as to be understood.

If I do take the time to reply to these cunts I make it very clear that I will not do business with any idiot who “Reaches out or reverts”.

It’s Cunt Speak and it’s everywhere.

Nominated by: The Artful Cunter

Gordon Ramsay/ Anthony Bourdain/ food travel shows.

Everyone eats food, alot of people like to travel, a foodie travel TV show = great TV so you’d think.

I’ll start with Ramsay.

I downloaded Uncharted and The great escape by this cunt. Why does the bellend have to keep stating he is Scottish? He slips it in on average 3 times per 45 minute show, and I quote ‘I know about whiskey, I’m Scottish and I’ve been to a few distillery’s’. What’s that Gordon? You went to a few before you left Scotland at the age of 5?. Another equally ridiculous moment in the cuntfest was him talking to a pilot in a float plane, pilot says to the wrinkled dishcloth faced cunt ‘ we’ll be landing on that lake in front of us so I’ll pull the power’. Our kilted tartan hero with a look of absolute shock says..’ YOU’RE GOING TO PULL THE POWER?’, I’m assuming this multi millionaire cunt has flown before but for some reason thinks that planes land full throttle? Cunt.

Anthony Bourdain. Parts unknown.

CNN cunt, all his shows end up with a bunch of rich dodgy cunts eating expensive food and talking absolute shit. Living in the CNN circle probably had a lot of shit on alot of the cunts and was found dangling from a rope In France 2018. Long story short, I deleted the fucking lot. ((Edit at your pleasure))

Nominated by Cuntflu

Mumbling Cunts in Films.

I’m trying to watch “Donnie Brasco” and can’t make out half of what’s being said. Subtitles aren’t available either.

I know my hearing isn’t brilliant but even when the volume is turned right up,I can’t decipher what they’re on about….but I can certainly hear the fucking ads. when they come on.

Donnie Brasco can fuck off….Naked Attraction,here I come.

Nominated by Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler

I would like to nominate polishing fat turds for a cunting.

I was recently in Germany on business and whilst waiting for the sky train to Dusseldorf airport (that part of Germany is a shit hole full of Turkish cunts by the way, avoid at all costs, honestly I’d rather go to Middlesbrough) and what do I see standing in front of me? Two “plus size” land whales checking their make-up and doing their hair for a selfie next to the sky train.

Walking (waddling) evidence that it is in fact impossible to polish a turd unless it’s been fossilised. Your hair and make-up don’t matter one jot when you’re as fat and ropey as Jabba the Hut after a monster sesh on the broon ale and kebabs.

These horror shows then have the nerve to complain when Asda can’t find a sailing ship canvas big enough to cover their arses.

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/fashion-news/asda-hit-complaints-dressing-plus-23199201

Bad enough we have to literally orbit these cunts in the street!

Nominated by: Dr Geordie Cunt, I presume

Seconded by: Get Fucked Woke Cunts

As people are sooo fat do they really have gravitational pull. Is this why cyclists and cars and pedestrians have accidents. Should they affect insurance quotes.

the story continues.

Free range eggs unavailable from Monday!

Oh the shock. Oh the horror. What are Joycelyn and Jocasta supposed to have for breakfast?

https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2022/mar/18/free-range-eggs-unavailable-britain-avian-flu

From what I can gather, there’s been an isolated case of evian flu ( correct me if I’m wrong) (OK then, it’s “avian” – NA) and all farmers, egg producers, have had to isolate their free range birds. So from tomorrow, they can no longer sell them as free range.

Over reacting much, munch?

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest