I hate Autumn. People bang on about how lovely autumn is, with its golden brown leaves, moderate temperatures and all that wishy-washy lovely sunsets/sunrises.
Well that’s all bollocks in reality! For me, autumn is all about things dying off and/or falling apart.
This summer for example, after returning from Denmark, I spent ages landscaping our back garden with gravel beds, a small patio area, flowers and plants along with a one or two other additions. All very pleasant of an evening sitting in the garden admiring one’s labours over a lager or glass of wine.
And then fucking autumn comes along and dumps shitloads of dead leaves, twigs, branches, the odd bin liner and other detritus that should land all over the garden due to the autumnal wind and rain. Thus turning my lovely garden into a messy shithole once again.
And then there’s the dark mornings/nights and the clocks going back an hour; drawing the curtains at 3pm and a noticeable drop in temperatures and the central heating back on again
Plus the constant reminders of Halloween, Bonfire night and of course Christmas. And as I recall when living in Brum a few years ago, you had sad cunts showing off their Christmas lights on the front of their houses despite only being October!
Plus Autumn is best mates with Winter – they’re both cunts of the highest order, but more so Autumn because its got a stupid spelling (Plus Americans call it The Fall. I mean, what’s all that about !?)
Nominated by Technocunt.
