Flies are cunts. No matter how little you open a window, a fly will always fly in. No matter how wide you open it, it will never fly out again. Cunts.

Nominated by : Yootha Joyce

My cats catch most of the little buggers. Trouble is they eat them, then I have to clean the puke off the carpet when they fetch-up an hour later.

Nominated by : Termujin

The Toyota AYGO; a fucking ugly little car driven by sour faced vinegar titted swamp hogs and sad fuckwitted mongs.

In short a cunty little car bought by cunts

Nominated by: Ollie Burton’s Grandad

(Personally, I think the Skoda Fabia is worse. That’s bought by senile old cunts!Ed)

What a bunch of cunts the Welsh Assembly are.

Not only did they bottle it when offered the same powers as Scotland – presumably because they prefer to spend English money rather then their own – but now they want to nationalise our organs so they can rip them out without asking first.

Apparently that makes them a ‘progressive nation’. Well here’s news for you, you cunts : Wales ain’t a nation, it’s a principality ruled by some philandering, jug eared cunt.

And you cunts can’t even be bothered to speak English. ‘Pishu bant’ – what’s that mean ‘Gives us yer organs’?

Fucking stupid foreign sheep shagging cunts.

Nominated by : Dylan Thomas
(under the influence of milk wood)

Voodoo quacks that keep old cunts like Mandela and Prince Philip ticking over on life support longer than an old style Russian leader are truely sinister cunts denying the pleasure of their demise to the humble sportsman.

Only insert the tubes if there is a large wodge of dosh in it for them naturally. For lesser mortals it’s straight onto the Liverpool Care Pathway and Good Night Vienna.

Resurrectionist Cunts.

Nominated by : Sir Limply Stoke

Shoe shopping on a Saturday with two visiting cruise liners in port plus the usual tourists.

Female logic guesses that the shops will be empty. Wrong.

Common sense is soluble in oestrogen.

Nominated by: All Seeing Eye; every man ever.