Category Archives: cunt

Diane Abbott [5]

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Methinks it’s a bloody good job that this repulsive creature is not tasked with the Brexit negotiations. We would probably end up paying the EU an annual sweetener of £20bn in exchange for the much coveted open borders and no trade deal.

Has she something sleazy on Corblimey? She certainly is not Home Secretary material. Despite her history degree from Cambridge, I wouldn’t task the dozy tart with making my ‘rice, pea and chiggun’ dinner. Besides she’d likely scoff the fucking lot before I’d get any look

Nominated by Paul Maskinback

My god, Diane Abbott, what the fuck were you smoking last night? Top grade hash, wrapped in banana skin? According to this CUNT of a jungle bunny, speaking on LBC this morning, if Labour got into power (NOT A FUCKING HOPE IN HELL), they would recruit 10,000 police officers at a cost of £300,000 over 4 years. Are you fucking serious. What are you going to pay them with! Oh, I forget. You’ll be paying them with your staple diet. MONKEY NUT’S. CUUUUNNNNTTTT.

Nominated by Rikmeister

Wolfgang Schaeuble

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Yet another EU lickspittle has stuck his head above the parapet in the Brexit divorce argument, this time German finance minister Wolfgang Schaeuble.

Wolfie reckons that we’ll have to cough up £50,000,000,000 to be ‘allowed’ to leave the EU because “it’s not like leaving a golf club”. Well I’ve got news for Wolfie because it’s exactly like leaving a golf club. You quit. You stop paying your subs. You’re no longer a member.

The EU is a club. Nothing more. We’re not married to it and it makes my piss boil every time they call it a divorce. Article 50 makes no provision for a leaving fee, so ol’ Wolfie can just go fuck himself.

This a man who was forced to resign from Kohl’s government in a corruption scandal. This is a man that is so ingrained with the EU gravy train, he even has EU in his name!

He reckons that if we don’t stump up, they’ll take us to the European Court. That’s the European Court that no longer has juristiction after we’ve left the EU. He’s so deluded that he’s living in a different galaxy, the cunt.

Nominated by Dioclese

Tony Blair (11)

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Mr Tony Blair runs a well oiled machine..He is slick and he has all the skills that are required to ease back into the limelight. He can purchaser’s power, he can pull strings, and above all, he can rely upon the support of the Braun Cow of Deutschland.

The trivial matter of a British electorate who are diametrically opposed to Blair’s return will NOT hinder this mans progress.
Democracy will be set aside , a fanfare will sound, and the Different”Hosannah”, and the laying of palm fronds will herald the arrival of the antichrist.

Votes and demonstrations will not stop this man, he is evil incarnate. A “cunting” no matter how well deserved is quite insufficient in this mans case, only a visit from the “peaceful ones” can end his reign.

Isis….Isis…where are you now?

Nominated by asimplearsehole

Rickie Doubleday

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Once upon a time, a sad little man from Norfolk called Rickie, who’d tried really hard and failed at being a businessman, was given a computer. “Oh” thought he, “what could I use this for?” and he discovered blogs.

“This is wonderful” he thought because now he could tell the world all about the evils of cigarettes. So he found a blog and posted lots and lots of comments all about smoking. But the blog owner got pissed off with his endless rants and blocked him.

He tried a few more. They blocked him too. This pissed Rickie off greatly so he changed tactics. Then he found a blog run by a bloke called Dioclese. At first he was very restrained and praised Dio for his attitude to free speech, but he just couldn’t resist returning to his favourite hobby horse – smoking. Dio told him he should stick to the subject, but he took no notice.

It came to pass that a circle of bloggers Rickie had been annoying was formed and they shared information about him. It seemed Dio had got off light, because Rickie had lost the plot with many of the others, posting witty comments like “cunt cunt cunt” hundreds of times day! So the circle closed and they all blocked him.

And the circle were mightily pissed off and starting digging around. Seems Rickie was not so tricky and foolishly used his real name way back when.

Now Dio was admin on a blog called ISAC at the time so Rickie trolled it. It got many more readers than lots of the others, so Rickie could share his wisdom with nice big audience. But the circle closed again. Dio blocked him and displayed his name and address on the site. Rickie was furious!!! Now the whole world knew he really was a cunt!!! Not only that, they knew where he lived!

Then a brave terminally ill lady called Anna Raccoon discovered Rickie only lived just down the road so she popped in for a cup of tea and a deep meaningful chat. Anna confirmed that this really was Rickie the Troll and, from her experience working in mental health, confirmed he was a sociopath with deep feelings of inadequacy.

So in order to give him an outlet for his condition, Grandad set up a blog called “The Troll’s Lair” where some of his wittier comments were reproduced. Ironically, Rickie refused to troll it. Shame really.

So now Rickie hates Anna and Dio and Grandad even more and spends all his time trying to break through the block on ISAC so he can protest his innocence and tell everyone they’ve got the wrong man.

But they haven’t and he’s still an inadequate little cunt with sociopathic tendencies who’s failed in life and spends all his time pointlessly raging on the internet.

And the moral of this story? If you’re going to be a cunt, don’t use your real name.

Nominated by all the people he’s pissed off over the years!