The krauts could not do it. The IRA could not do it. Commie cunts could not do it but the high viz brigade have pulled it orf. Big Ben, the sound orf the Nation and orf democracy across the free world, the heartbeat orf London, is to silenced for FOUR fucking years. Can anything be done? Oit orf our hands say the faceless bugger clones orf Parliament. Been signed orf by two Parliamentary Committees says Sir Roger Snifter orf the League orf Parliamentary Poofters while pulling his nose oit orf the arse orf his researcher.

Put on your high viz vests, hard hats and groin protectors dear hearts before reading further – oh and better have a mandatory risk assessment for health and safety. You see the Queen Elizabeth Tower (it houses the bells cunts) is to have a refurbishment and scaffolding erected aroinde it so this may be done (bells in fine fettle already). Fear orn the part orf the limp wristed ones is that Sergei or Ivan or Petrov might have their personal spaces violated if they are up orn the scaffolding when the bells go orf. Apparently a nice pair orf high viz ear defenders and hurt feelings counselling is not considered adequate for the poor darlings.

Also unfathomable reasons given for not doing the obvious ie turning the fucking things orf for the time that the workers are actually orn the job. Real reason is that would be a dead give away for how few hours the cunts were actually doing a week.

Your Truly very suspicious that if the bells are turned orf they will never be heard again. Detect a stitch-up by the LibWog Alliance to silence the distressing sound orf white democratic supremacy. Sir Limply’s suggestion? Employ a gang orf deaf (sorry “differently abled”) cunts. Job done.

In past times the old speaker, Sir Cuntly Manners was celebrated for shagging his wife once a month. He would bestir himself at the midnight hour, making his entry upon the first peal orf the bell and his withdrawal upon the second thus completing the half dozen. If that fire engine had not gone past he would still be alive today.

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke

I would like to nominate for the latest cycling cunt Charlie Alliston, this is the cunt that is saying its not his fault for riding a bike with no brakes and has killed a pedestrian crossing the road, all be it on her phone at the time so probable stepped out in front of him while riding at 20mph at lunchtime on a weekday in Londonistan.

This cunt reckons it was all her fault as she dosn,t respect cyclists…the fact that the type of bike he was riding is illegal to ride on the road is irrelevant to this prick,he shouted get out of the fucking way and then ran her over killing her.

It should be fair game to jam a stick through the front wheels of cunts like this …..

Nominated by fuglyucker.

Average speed cameras are in need of a cunting.

They’re everywhere, there’s no beating the fuckers. Why the fuck do I have to slow down from 90mph to 50mph on the motorway when there is nothing going on?

I got caught by one a while ago I was doing an average of 49mph in a 40mph zone, I’ve had to pay almost £80 to go on a Speed Awareness course (no doubt run by a load of ex Coppers) who will tell me that going faster than the speed limit is…going to fast. My other option was to pay £100 and get three points on my license.

They are taking all the fun out of driving.

What a moneymaking scam, the cunts.

Nominated by Black and White Cunt.

Bill Esterson, the Labour Shadow Trade Minister deserves a cunting. He was on Radio Five Live today, being interviewed by Emma Barnett, who royally skewered the useless twat over Labour’s position on the Customs Union and the Single Market. Five times she asked the waffling twat if Labour would the keep the UK inside the Single Market and the Customs Union, or whether we would leave. Five times, Esterson’s response was, “we will have the same relationship, blah blah blah”.

To be honest, I was surprised that the BBC would allow one of its beloved Labour front benchers to be roasted in such a way. In fact, I fully expect Emma Barnett to be removed any day now. It was a performance that even Andrew Neil would struggle to match. She made Esterson look a bigger moron than the Abbottapotamus. And that takes some doing.

Apparently, Corbyn is in “General Election” mode. Expect lots of staged meetings with ‘ordinary’ voters, who are in no way connected to the Labour Party. Also expect lots of seditious talk about “bringing down the government”. If this is the calibre of the Labour front bench, then I really hope they’re never voted into government. If they are, this country will be the European version of Venezuela within 12 months. That’s assuming that there isn’t a civil war before then.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw.