A green and pleasant land, Elgar optional, cunting please for Ms Yates, head of the UK Travel thingmabob. The reason Ms Yates has boiled my piss is that today she told a Parliamentary committee, made up of the usual fuckwit know-alls, that she would like to see an extra bank holiday this October to help holiday companies to recoup some of the money they lost over Easter and the May bank holidays

Has this daft woman not realised that every day since March 23rd has been a bank holiday for the majority of people (I agree there should be some reward for essential workers – from supermarket workers, bus drivers and refuse collectors as well as the usual suspects in the NHS) but who the fuck would want to spend a day camping in the wet shortening days of October to make up for the beauty and promise of spring.

Pull yourself together you Guardian reading arsewipe.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Dodging the Dog Shit and Pavement Crayoning – If it’s not bad enough having to plan your walk with military precision lately e.g sideways walking to avoid some likely lurgy cunt, two metres, two metres, two metres ARHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I now have to glance downwards on the pavement every two steps to make sure I don’t walk in some freshly laid dog egg.

Seems to be even more lately, what the fuck is it with the cunting dog owners? I must admit I am OCD with cleanliness, clean pavements, no litter, no graffiti, no fucking chewing gum. And don’t get me fucking started on the kids crayoning shit on the pavements lately also, if you want to draw, do it in a book you cunts.

Nominated by Bob Frapples

People who say sheeple.

Mostly you find these twats on websites like the David Icke forum. For example, if you think anything different to what their leader, David Icke thinks, then you’re a sheep. Irony is not their strong point.

I was one that was suspicious of the McCanns early on too. But I was never (unlike the loons at the Icke forum) certain that it was a Jewish peado ring conspiracy. It’s starting to look like a German peado who could be the one who did it. The Icke followers don’t think that could be true? Just the three countries’ police forces seem to think the Kraut did it. But hey, If you go on their forum (good for a laugh) you’ll see them using the word ‘sheeple’ constantly for those that think their could be something in this.

Yes, you think differently to most of us. Because you have massive brain spastications. Fuck off.

Nominated by Cuntybollocks

Roger Waters is a cunt.
The ex-Floyd windbag is now moaning about how he is not allowed access to fans In a message via his twitter account, Roger Waters has today complained being denied access to Pink Floyd fans via the band’s website and social media accounts.

Waters starts the five-and-a-half minute video announcement by saying that he “rarely speaks to Pink Floyd fans [directly]” and adds “but that is what I am doing now.”

“David Gilmour thinks I’m irrelevant” claims Waters in another gripe.

Well, isn’t this the same man who used to purposely ignore fan mail of any kind in the 70s and 80s? Didn’t he also gob at a Pink Floyd fan once? And as for his moan about Gilmour? Didn’t Waters think Rick Wright (RIP) was irrelevant? So irrelevant that he sacked him?

Hypocritical old cunt.

Nominated by Norman

… and as Ruff Tuff points out, the cunt left the band 35 years ago

Burglars really are cunts aren’t they, waltzing into people’s homes, pawing through people’s possessions and valuables looking for something to make a few quid off, I was burgled last year by a pair of iron curtain cunts who thought my house was a treasure trove, but they only managed to steal a few crayons of all things, I hadn’t realised I’d been burgled until the next morning, I knew where the cunts were at the time, and I thought about visiting them with my 12 bore, but alas I decided to phone the local cuntstablary, 2 days later PC Creasote waddles round my humble abode, saying we know who it was, but they’re leaving for home so waste of prosecuting, if I had been awoken by said cunts I would probably be typing this at her majesty’s pleasure,

I always say Tony Martin was right, a few cartridges and the criminal future of these cunts would be greatly reduced, but then some cunts would say you should let them go or phone the police for a slap on the wrist and a cuppa. Maybe the mudslimes are on to something, cut the cunts hands off and they won’t be able to grab so much, cunts to man and beast burglars really they are!

Nominated by Captain Quimson