This is genuinely a more in sorrow than in anger cunting for our beloved Prime Minister.

I genuinely like Boris. Prior to his recent illness,he never took himself too seriously. A bit of a rogue, perhaps, but a loveable one. He wasn’t Steptoe-Corbyn, with his hypocritical amateur Marxism, nor was he meddling incompetent old woman Keir Starmer – Starmer the charmer, who is about as charming as a floating turd in a lavatory pan.

Alas, those days have gone, now his bumbling incompetence has turned into bustling self-importance, and – I hate to say it, dictatorial. He has also become cowed because Starmer and some of his backbench arselickers have been agitating like the old wimmin they are for face masks to be “compulsory” in shops, it seems Boris has caved into them – just like he did over public transport “compulsory” masks agitated for by the whacky London mayor.

Boris needs to remember that the fucking Labour party will be out of power for at least another 4 years (probably 8) and that he has a majority of 80. He should tell the Starmer chums to go and fuck themselves.

I think Boris is not only cowardly for giving into the red scum, but confused. A lot of his actions seem to have one eye on commerce, You still can’t get your teeth fixed, if you are an NHS Patient, but you can go and get your nails varnished. You can go to the pub, but not to many walk-in medical facilities. If the country has become so suddenly safe, why all this dreadful compulsion.

I never thought, throughout my decades on this planet, that I would end up living in a police state, certainly not under a tory government – it would have been a cert under Corbyn of course, but he was given a fucking good thrashing, just a few months ago.

You can cover mouths, and noses, but infections can be acquired through the eyes – perhaps Saddick Khan and some of his ilk in Parliament will provide free hijabs and burqus?

Either we are “safe” to go out or we are not. Even during the fucking war, though you had to carry your gas mask, you didn’t have to wear the bleeding thing everywhere.

Confusion everywhere – on the day Priti Patel announces “strict” immigration rules, we have the largest contingent of illegal immigrants being taxied in, on one day – and this year has been a record figure of thousands – and they are only the ones that got in undetected. You can at the very least double that figure.

Fuck the government – they are ignorant arsehole crawlers who know fuck all about anything. Self important self righteous eunochs – they know how it is done, they see it done evry day, but they can’t do it themselves. This is even more true of Starmer and his bunch. I even start to wonder if Boris will cave in to the Remainer cunts of Labour and cancel Brexit. Hilary Benn has been on manouvres again

I can’t be arsed to vote anymore – fuck the lot of them

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

A quick cunting for the Mayor of New York –

Covid-related lockdowns of restaurants, diners, and food carts have starved the Big Crapple’s rat populations out of the sewers and subways and into the streets and homes of Manhellton.

And how has Big Bill responded to this literal plague upon his house? By painting ‘Black Lives Matter’ on the street outside Trump Tower!

He should have instead painted a nice big mural of the new, true King of New York… ROLAND!

Nominated by Chimp Licker 

This nom is a bit different from the norm in that I want to focus on those annoying little things that piss me off on a daily basis. Things like:-

• Cash Machines being out of order when you need cash in a hurry.
• Shoe laces that either come undone at the most inconvenient of times, or get knotted when you try to undo them.
• Batteries in remote controls that die on you and you’ve got no spares.
• Cunts from Amazon who send you something small and harmless like a flash drive, but decide to pack it in a cardboard box the size of a shoebox, full to the brim with millions of polystyrene chips that go all over the fucking place as soon as you open the lid!
• Tinned food that don’t have ring-pulls, and you don’t have a can opener.
• Dust.
• Grubby/sticky tables in pubs that haven’t been wiped down properly.
• Blobs of butter in the jam/marmalade jar because some cunt couldn’t be bothered to clean the knife beforehand.
• No toilet roll in the gents bogs in restaurants (but only noticing after the event!)
• Unscrewing something, but there’s always ONE screw that won’t fucking budge!
• Postmen who don’t shove letters fully through the letter box thus resulting in soggy letters due to rain.
• Electrical fuses that go pop and finding you have every spare fuse under the sun other than for the amperage you need.
• Waiting at bus queues and some cunt tries to start a conversation about the bleedin’ weather! (Always, always ALWAYS the weather, and not something more edgy like Owen Jones being a complete cunt?)
• BST & GMT – fucking about changing the clocks (and there’s always one you forget).
• Website forums that pick up on your spelling and insist on correcting you with the American spelling of the word.
• Dropping the TV remote control or your phone while your nice and comfy in your chair, and the remote is always just slightly out of easy reach.
• Dropping a £1 coin, which always seems to roll into inaccessible/awkward places.
• Shaving every day.
• Condensation on your glasses when you walk into a takeaway on a cold night.
• Long lists of pointless shite…..

Any more you would like to add?

Nominated by: Technocunt

So the old Swedish tarte is living her life post menopause (claims to be 52) in quiet retirement in the tabloids. Not so long ago it was “Ulrica is dating again” with accompanying soft cheese shots and now this, the above. We take pause. Then we give thanks. At least it is not a grey haired open minge trout pout shot with the old titties oite.

What we have gentlemen is a presentiment orf the wife in fifty years time if we allow it too many holidays in the sun. Watch oite Dioclese and those sun-kissed cruises with ‘er Indoors. Keep a mask on ‘er.

Point is Ulrika according to the copy “worships the sun” hence the leather back turtle vibe. Word to the wise Ulrica, if sojourning in the souks and casbahs orf Morocco avoid the leather markets or the wogs will skin that old face and neck orf yours and knock up a nice handbag and a pair orf sandals.

The good news is that Ulrika remains available and so if any young cunter fancies a mature Swedish massage with truck grease and molybdenum (her speciality moisturiser) apply to a tabloid orf your choice.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/12104322/ulrika-jonsson-52-post-shower-selfie-hair-wash-8-days/

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

(The softer side of Amber. Would you kick her out of bed? – admin)

Now, I have no sympathy whatsoever for that cunt Depp. More fanny than he can cope with, yet he hooks up with a fucking psycho like that.

However, I am sick to death of seeing this self pitying manipulative demented nutjob’s ‘feel sorry for me’ face all over the web and the papers. There’s a plague and riots going on, yet they are more interested in this dribbling claws out fruitcake. She is just another Hollyweird psycho. Seen one, seen ’em all.

Nominated by: Norman