Television [2]


A widescreen, 3D and 4K cunting for television. Not the electronic devices themselves. I’m talking about the utter shit content they display.

In my lifetime, so many things have changed for the worse. Air travel. Football. Society in general. A once enjoyable and much anticipated treat which was television has become utter crap. Here are some examples:

Reality TV. Novel at first, now it saturates the schedules and has become even dumber. If that were possible.

Commercials. These cunts deserve a cunting in their own right, but indulge me. I do not understand why advertisers would want their commercial to run back-to-back 3 times in a row. Or repeat twice or more within the same commercial break. It’s fucking insane. If I see that I immediately hate that company and their fucking product. I can’t be the only one. These days of course we have the woke commercials trying to make us believe mixed race couples are as common as same race. Nothing wrong with mixed race, but come the fuck on.

Programmes with commercial breaks. You’re enjoying a show then just before a commercial break, you get some cunt telling/showing you what’s coming up. Don’t fucking do that, you’re ruining it for everyone. I’d like to enjoy the show without knowing exactly what the next segment will contain. Why why fuckity why do they do that? Their other trick is when they come back from a commercial break, they re-show the last minute or so of the programme you’re watching, like they think you’ve got fucking Alzheimer’s. I strongly believe they do this to keep to the same time slot, but reduce the actual content so the show is cheaper to make.

Advertising within a programme. You’re watching some programme then half the screen fills up with advertising another show. When this cunting idea first started it would be a smallish caption at the bottom of the screen. These days they’re multi-coloured huge text complete with moving graphics, etc. Jesus Christ on a log flume, why can’t you wait to advertise your other shitty show during a commercial break? Oh wait, I get it. That leaves more commercial air time for actual paying advertisers. So to make more money, they’ll advertise their own shows within a programme you’re already watching. Just to make it even worse, they’ll show the same trailer over and over again. Like we all have Alzheimer’s. Best (worst) one I ever saw was the Sci-Fi Channel (now with the gay name Syfy) which usually screens a Twilight Zone marathon during the holidays. Classic, eerie and period black and white nostalgia completely ruined by the idiot broadcaster showing trailers for other shows in full color while The Twilight Zone is on. Or telling you you’re watching The Twilight Zone marathon! I fucking know that you cunts! Talk about completely ruining the effect. Absolutely idiotic.

When I was a kid 3 channels, all of which closed down around midnight, was the extent of our visual entertainment choices. Commercial breaks seemed shorter, less patronizing, less fear mongering and you saw different commercials each commercial break. When a show came back from commercial, it picked up where it left off before the break. Advertising within another show never happened. Who knew what we accepted as normal would change completely for the worse. Three channels became 4, then 5 then 300 and it’s all mostly shit with little to no regard for the viewers’ actual enjoyment.

TV has become an utter cunt. What say you?

Nominated by: Imitation Yank

The Covid Fire Break

A month or so back a 2 week lockdown was proposed by Sage to get the virus under control.

The option wasn’t taken up.

Sir Kweer Charmer seized upon this as an example of where Boris was going wrong. He is very good at this. We must have the firebreak he ranted, denouncing the govt for their recalcitrance.

Well, the land of my fathers employed just such a strategy. Welshcunt Drakeford imposed this measure for the good of the Welsh and possibly to show what cunts the Tories are.

Worked well didn’t it?

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Margaret Keenan

Jocko Oirish old slapper currently luxuriating in attention after having been injected with the first free dodgy Pfizer Covid Jab “In The World”. Clearly no good for Alzheimer’s though because when interviewed on all networks the old biddy could only chortle on that it was free and she had done it for all mankind and when was she going to get her prize? A “free” out of season timeshare in Pria De Luz.

Nurses are organising a Go Fund Me campaign to raise funds of £150 for her Confirmation Fee to secure her Exclusive Limited Time Prize plus £25 handling charge to be sent by Wells Fargo to a Mr Bongo in Sierra Leone within 10 days.

Meanwhile Johnson, who is considerably less honest than Mr Bongo, is seen fart arsing it in an NHS coat puff puff fluffing away at how great Britain is for having delivered at massive cost a vaccine by Pfizer, a dodgy pariah among yank drugs companies, developed in Germany and manufactured in Belgium. Blighty’s part in all this? Put in shed loads of money and provided the first unpaid guinea pigs.

The NHS has bought up the world’s supply of super freezers to in which to store the unstable vaccine. Going to be vast numbers of those going begging in a few months time.

Why all this hoopla at this time some may ask. Surely not to throw a smokescreen over a Brexit rat out? Cheap second hand freezer anyone (after the Civil Servants have had theirs)?

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

https://www.irishnews.com/picturesarchive/irishnews/irishnews/2020/12/08/083816821-f27b7bc8-fb5d-4873-ab82-95a7fdf15b7a.jpg

Foreign Lorry Drivers


Back in August I was driving the M25 when a Romanian articulated lorry driver decided he would prefer my lane rather than his. The problem was that I was overtaking him at the time and was alongside his trailer. Without indication or any other warning he pulled into my lane.

By some miracle I braked and swerved with a tyre (or tyres) on his trailer glancing several blows on the nearside of my car. Luckily the damage was slight; paint loss from the front wing, a small door dent and pain loss from the rear bumper.

To be fair to the Romanian, he apologised and presented his green card for me to photgraph. So far so good. I got a snap of his number plate and I thought then all should be OK for the claim.

Apparently not. Because I only took a snap of the rear number plate, my insurance company could not claim back costs from the Romanian lorry driver’s insurer. For some half-arsed reason, foreign lorry drivers are allowed to drive on the UK’s roads with different registration plates on the cab and the trailer!

So cunters, if you are ever hit by one of these left-hand drive clowns whilst they are not watching the road and instead eating a Yorkie, drinking cheap lager or wanking to Xhamster, then ensure you get a photo of both the front and rear number plates of the vehicle as well as the green card.

All is well that ends well, after my insurance company told me I lost my NCD as they couldn’t claim from the insurer of the cab, I argued that it wasn’t the cab that hit me, but the trailer, for which they had insurance details on the green card. After a formal complaint to them they reinstated my NCD.

What a fucking palaver!

Nominated by: Paul Maskinback

Slapheads with Ponytails


Just been watching The Universe on Sky History 2. Excellent stuff. However, there was a bald man with a ponytail. I stopped caring about what he said because of his monstrous faux pas.

No. Just fucking no.

You are bald. That precludes your ability on a social level to grow a ponytail.

In essence, he is a cunt.

Caveat. I’m a slap ‘ed.

Nominated by: Dark key cunt