A nomination for pop culture.

I know it’s subjective, and i used to think Will Self was being his usual sneering gargoyle persona when he said it was objectively crap (he was referring to rave culture and what followed). I agree with him about rave culture in some regards, but ‘objectively’ crap? It entertained some and involved some young adult behaviour.

I think his statement is a bit more accurate these days. Pop culture struggles to even entertain its target audiences, let alone rising to a level you could call art, be it chart music, films, games, comics or TV.

It’s a sea of uninteresting mediocre wank suited to gormos on social media, what the commentator Paul Weston called ‘Epsilon Semi Morons,’ with their foetal understanding of the world and desire for more episodes of Love Island and Pixar ‘films’. These are not just the Zoomers or Millennial cunts, but Gen X cunts older than myself, crying over trailers for blockbusters like StarWars and Sonic the HedgeCunt.

I understand the desire for escapism more than most but, fuck me, must it be a cartoon (and not an adult-orientated one)? Must it be a film with a script written by a man-child where stuff happens just because it’s ‘cool and intense’ (JJ Abrams on Cloverfield)?
Must it be woke dogshit with no plot and cast with ridiculous ‘types’; the young black girl who can do everything and knows more than a 40-year old white bloke?

Must it be a game – be iit computer or tabletop- where you pay for upgrades to your character or team in real money with no end goal other than ‘levelling up?’

Must it be books aimed at 12 year olds with special covers for adults, or books so poorly-written and bogged down with references to eighties crap it has no narrative flow or literary style (see Ready, Player One, a ‘must-read’ for hipster cunts of my vintage).

Perhaps. If you find it entertaining. But please not because every cunt is doing it. This stuff is for fucking kids.
Pixar, superhero films, Candy Crush and other bleep-blop shit, Harry Potter books, comic books, online video games with ‘pay to win’ elements, those shoddy cartoons on Netflix.

It’s all for fucking kids, but it’s gobbled up by cunts, and a lot of them are too old to be called millennials. They have kids of their own. They use terms like ‘adulting’.
They’re asking for endless abuse.

Cunts.

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime

I would like to cunt Pembrokeshire county council if I may, to understand Pembrokeshire it is a rural backwater, with residents who make the rednecks off Deliverance look normal (I also originate from the area) it is also known as little England, the population is almost exclusively white except for a token dar quay or joe daki, but the reason for this cunting is Pembrokeshire County Council aka Pembrokeshire old farmers and Masons, have decided it appropriate to bathe the monstrosity that is county hall in a purple haze of lights to support the cause championed by George “I can’t breeff” Floyd, a violent thug with a charge sheet longer than Dianne Abbotts KFC receipt, why are they doing this, it’s mainly just virtue signalling, most councillers would act like Eddie Booth off ‘Love thy neighbour’ if one moved next door to them, most of the councillers are greasy cunts, on top whack salaries so couldn’t give a fuck, also Pembrokeshire has I believe the lowest murder rate in the UK averaging about 1 every year or 2, a coincidence?, I don’t think so!, cunts to man and beast PCC really are!

Nominated by Captain Quimson

Splish splash you´re having a slash, staring stoically straight ahead. No peeping to the left or right in case your neighbor gets the wrong idea and thinks you´re sizing him up*. What bothers me now is that I tend to hang around for what seems like hours shaking off the final drips and giving the impression that I am waiting for some homo action. This is because I had an operation about 10 years ago which basically circumcised me and left no handy little foreskin space where droplets could linger.

Nowadays, a pee followed by a brief feeble shake then tucking the snake back into its place usually results in a rivulet of amber fluid down my thigh and a give-away stain on my trousers. For this reason I try to avoid public urinals in bars, restaurants, cafes etc. In countries like Brazil it´s common to see pissers openly wiping and drying their cocks with paper towels but it´s not a practice I´ve seen in Europe or the US.

*BTW, Lenny Bruce once said the ending of desegregated bogs (“restrooms” in American speak) destroyed the myth that blacks had enormous dongs. But let´s not go into that in case we offend Black Cocks Matter.

Nominated by: Mr Polly

Faith healers are cunts, aren’t they.

Fortuitously we haven’t got many of these confidence tricksters in old Blighty. Perhaps we’re too cynical, perhaps we’re not gullible enough, perhaps we’re just too savvy. Nonetheless these snakes are still plying their nonsense across the globe.

Pastor Frankline Ndifor worked tirelessly as a faith healer in Cameroon. The “prophet” claimed that he was able to cure Covid-19. He was also a candidate in the central African state’s last presidential election.

It was going extraordinarily well until… he contracted Covid 19. Years of fleecing individuals by placing his hands on them and telling them that they’ve been cured has ended badly; the pastor died less than a week later.

It’s been more than three days and the charlatan still hasn’t “risen.”

Awkward.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous