Tesco “No Naughtiness” TV Ad.

Well we all know that Tescos is really a fun palace don’t we? Their stores are full of happy, laughing shoppers and staff, just there for the great craic.

Ok, no it’s not. Tescos is a huge money making machine. Entirely humourless even by supermarket standards.

Shoppers are their to buy goods. And to check out asap.

So why pretend that they want to cheer up their customers? They say 2020 has been such a horrid year and now our favourite grocer wants to make us all
happy and to not feel guilty.

It wants us to indulge ourselves by buying luxury calorific foods to make us feel better. No matter that a large proportion of the Great British public have been doing little else but sitting at home ordering a record number of takeaways and consuming mega tons of rich food which they stuff their faces with.

Tescos. Don’t try to be funny it doesn’t suit you. Everyone knows you don’t give a toss about us and simply want us to turn up and spend money with you. Which we do.

You have had freedom to sell non-essential goods when all the smaller shops had to close. Boosting your profits even more. Ok so you make a gesture by returning the rate rebates you didn’t need. Or you jumped before you were pushed.

But just don’t pretend you are a caring, sharing, people-loving organisation. We know you screw your suppliers and farmers into the ground. We know you would like to dominate every sector of every market if you could. The Amazon of bricks and mortar.

The fake, enforced jollyness of your Christmas TV ad makes me as sick as if I’d swallowed 6 boxes of your premium minced pies. With your double cream.

Merry Christmas Tesco.

Nominated by: Lord Helpuss

What bollocks is this? Who are these cockney white folk? Saafenders more like. ‘It aint legal, Tiff!’ Bollocks.

‘Arr god tellz (sic) it is rrite.’ is more likely.

Where is the peaceful establishment of religion?

Where are the stabbings?

‘Ah’m not ‘ere to star’ a fight.’

Fack off you cunt. Wiv that accent, you belong in Ken’.

‘We arrre togetherrr my habibis’ would be more truthful.

Fuck the BBC.

Nominated by: Dark key cunt

Sir Philip Green: Capitalist Cunt of the Decade.

I support free enterprise but this greedy git gives it a bad name.

Corporate raider. Asset stripper. He hollows out any company he buys. Fails to invest. Runs them into the ground. Extracts huge dividends which he pays over to his wife in Monaco. 1.2 billion from BHS alone. Sold it for £1 to a serial bankrupt with a huge hole in the pension fund.

This also begs the question: how bad does someone have to be to lose a knighthood?

The Tories awarded one to this spiv for “services to retail”. He only ever served himself. Excess is his middle name. £100 million luxury yacht moored in Monaco. Dressed as a Roman emperor for his 50th birthday bash. Hired Tom Jones to sing. Kate Moss on his arm.

A notoriously quick-tempered hideous tubby little man who considers himself to be a business genius and fashion guru. Unable to cope with hi tec he got his secretary to print out emails for him to read. Won’t use a computer. Dismisses social media marketing. A luddite and now a dinosaur. Lost 25000 jobs. Left another massive pension hole for his employees.

Now has more time to spend in Monte Carlo. Say hi to that other deluded billionaire resident the soon-to-be Sir Lewis Hamilton from us Phil.

What a pair of feckers.

Nominated by: Lord Helpuss 

(Good luck with this one. – DA)

I’m going to cunt perspective.

I know some of the more academic cunters (although always courteous and respectful) will probably roll their eyes and say something along the lines of “who gave this idiot books and internet, someone please make him watch TV again”, but I’m consumed with the paradoxical problem that the more I learn and think, the more I realise how fucking stupid and ignorant I am. It’s like taking a bite from a cake and every time time you swallow a mouthful, the fucking thing gets 10 times bigger….

As you’ll probably gather, I haven’t taken the inspiration of this cunting from any book, it’s just what I’ve realised through my journey recently.

I apologise in advance if you’ve heard the same crap from the first week of an amateur philosophy class or something….. I’m not an intellectual, I’m just an electrician.

I’ve been thinking, and one thing I’m wresting with at the moment is perspective.
Is there a “good” side or an “evil” side?
Or just winner and loser….

Is what we think we know, fact, or someone else’s perspective of truth.

The truth is not the same from different perspectives….

Fact is true, truth is subjective…. or is it the other way around?

A fact has to have context (surely). Truth is the context of a fact. Truth is subjective depending on perspective.

That’s what I’m thinking about tonight… Help me….

Since I cancelled my BBC licence I’ve been reading as much as I can (Solzhenitsyn, Orwell, Frankel etc, got some Dostoevsky but its a bit over my head at the mo… and I’ve got some Aristotle on order, can’t wait to read that) and I’ve spent A LOT of time on telegram. I really want to see how people think and how they’ve come to their conclusions. I’m not an academic or intellectual, but I’m fascinated by humans, in all our splendour and cuntitude…

I follow communists, Nazis, libertarians, all types. (Surprisingly, of all those, libertarians are actually the most bat-shit crazy).

Weirdly, I’ve learned that there are many sides to every story and 2 sides can be totally conflicting, but both still true… it all depends on perspective.

I’m sure the more intellectual cunters can give some better examples, but here are a few of my own…

Take the British empire for example….

From my old perspective, it brought technology, education, infrastructure and medicine to less advanced peoples. It saved far more blacks from diseases and early deaths than it killed from war or slavery.

We were told during the Brexit referendum that we would be poorer, loose our infrastructure, investment, health service and standing in the world. I chose sovereignty.
So now I take a different perspective on the British empire. Was it good or bad?

As a consequence of that I actually don’t hate David Lammy and his ilk for hating white people (not for that anyway, he’s still cunt coz he’s here, he should slag us off from Africa if he hates us so much). From their perspective though, whites conquered them, and for that we will never be forgiven.

I feel the same way about him and his people by the way. I know what’s coming.

Are communists worse that nazis? Who killed more? Does it matter?
Both cunts, depends on perspective.
Is religion about spiritual atonement or territorial / ideological conquest?
Both true, depends on perspective. Again, no religion rose without blood all over its hands, but would you regard old biddies at the soup kitchen as conquerors?
You might say “liberal values built our great society”.
That would be true.
You could also say “liberal values are destroying our society”.
That would also be true.
You might say “liberal society is degenerate and immoral ”
True I guess, but relative to what?
Perspective.
Was George Floyd a criminal that got what he deserved, or a victim of police brutality?
Both are true.
Do blacks have a higher prison rate because of racism or the fact that they have a degenerate culture?
Both are true to a degree. I have a perspective, but others have a different one.
Is social justice about helping the marginalised, or persecuting the non believers?
I know my thoughts, but again, perspective.

See why I think perspective is such a cunt?

As much as I wish I could, I don’t hate others with different views, as we all view the world from a different angle.

Why can’t facts just be facts?
Why can’t cold hard stats have no context?
They can, but most are meaningless without it….

From the perspective of the fact comes “the truth”, which may seem like gospel to that individual, but complete bollocks, or even “evil” to someone else.

So we choose our truths subjectively based on objective facts. But those “facts” (more often than not) are in fact someone else’s truths, fed to us through someone else’s perspective.

We all choose our perspective, or have it engraved in our thinking through education, media, environment, upbringing or experience.
Who’s to say one individuals experience is more valid than another’s?

Why view anyone (to a degree of course) as evil rather than a victim of perspective?

Facts are nothing without perspective.
Or am I just tying my brain in knots over nothing, or trying to understand people that don’t deserve to be understood?

This is all making me glad I didn’t choose a more intellectual path in life as, although I’m enjoying reading lots of books now, I’m not studying them, so although I ponder the ideas and think about them for a short time, it tends to go in one ear and right out the other. And the more I learn, the more confused I become about the world.

Maybe I’m better off as an electrician, with a simple life.
Yea, think I’ll stick to being a peasant, crack open that nice bottle of Whitby IPA I have in the fridge, and then go up and shag the lass…..

A simple life is better, maybe I’ll even plug myself back into the matrix one day…..

Orange man bad.
Diversity is our strength.
What demographic replacement?
Tolerance.
Religion of peace.
That evil, this good…..

BTW if you think that was all bollocks, fine.
I am…. quite, quite drunk.

Nominated by: Deploy the Sausage

…Or Wrong Roy as I prefer to call this utter waste of sperm and an egg.

Not content with merely being a cunt, he’s apparently decided that he wants a promotion to complete and total cunt, by trying to play the victim card. “Oh woe is me” the bearded prick has wailed. “I’m getting death threats and abuse, just for doing my job”.

NO! No, no, no motherfucker. You’re getting death threats and abuse because you’ve been absolutely shite at doing your job. As I pointed out in another post, Ferguson has NEVER been right about ANY of the major crises that the UK has faced in the past twenty years. He was wrong about foot & mouth (which resulted in the deaths of about 11million cloven animals, like sheep and cows. If they’d been human, he would’ve been in the Hague facing charges of genocide), he’s been wrong about SARS, MERS, HIV, Swine Flu, Bird Flu and now, fucking BAT FLU.

Right at the start, he claimed that 500,000 Brits would die from the Flu Manchu. Nearly nine months on, and we’re nowhere fucking near that number. He had a hand in the bullshit rules and guidelines we’ve had to suffer (including, and this is a classic, you can shag your missus, but you can’t play any sports, like golf, football, tennis, archery etc with her). He’s been wrong so often, that actual experts, from august places like Stanford and Yale, now consider him a target for ridicule.

Wrong Roy, you’re getting death threats (which I do not condone) and abuse (which I fully condone, because I’m doing it right now), because you’ve based your ‘projections’ on fearmongering bullshit, instead of scientific fact. You’re also getting death threats and abuse, because you broke the very rules you helped bring in, by sneaking off to shag your kraut side chick. TWICE!

So, no, Wrong Roy, you are NOT a victim of abuse. You are the thoroughly deserving target of abuse, because you’re a complete and total cunt. Shut the fuck up, fade into obscurity, and people WILL forget that you exist. Failing that, DO YOUR FUCKING JOB PROPERLY. Cunt.

By the way, Roy, I have a couple of projections for you. Both my middle fingers, right in your face.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

(More here – DA https://theferret.scot/fact-check-neil-ferguson-covid-19-predictions/ )