Yes, this is another tedious IT Nomination, but one that really frustrates the hell out of me.

As you may know, I work in IT (self-employed), and over the last 24 months I’ve been rushed off my feet with new customers asking for help building their home-office IT setup. And even though I spend hours doing precisely this, along with providing them with e-guides & PDF docs on what you should and shouldn’t do, time and again I see the same people coming back to me a few days or weeks down the line to say that:-

• my hard drive has failed and I’ve lost everything. What should I do?
• I have a virus, and I’ve lost everything. What should I do?
• I dropped my laptop, and its beyond repair. What should I do?
• I think my login has been hacked, and now I can’t access my machine. What should I do?

Well, if you’d read my detailed FAQs in my Help Guide right from the off, you would know exactly what to do. Here’s just a few for starters….

• Always install an antivirus/antimalware application, and keep them updated (free ones are just as good as paid)
• Always use Two-Factor-Authentication (2FA) for important accounts/apps (especially on routers). Or at the very least a complex password/passphrase (with hint)
• Always install the latest Windows x, Apple iOS, Android & Linux updates when they become available (Although with Windows 10, best put them on pause for 7 days given how shite they are at fixing things)
• Never switch off local firewalls, especially when using your machine/tablet in a public Wi-Fi  hotspot, or for device tethering.
• Always activate syncing between trusted devices so that if your primary device becomes unavailable your synced data should be available on your secondary one.
• Never enable Remote Desktop Protocol by default
• Never have too many Administrator Accounts on one device
• Always user a password manager with online/offline access (LastPass, NordPass, BitWarden, Keepass, ZohoVault – are all free apps)
• Always activate & encrypt backups, either locally to an external drive/flash drive, or to the Cloud (Google Drive, offers 15Gb for free, which is a good starting point)

All of the recommendations listed above I put into practice when I set their computers up in the first place. All they have to do is maintain each one by simply following the e-guide instructions.

Why people choose not to take on board such important advice is beyond me. They seem to think “Oh it will never happen to me, so I don’t need to bother with extra login authentication or backups. Far too nerdy, and I don’t have time anyway blah blah blah”

But when it does happen to them they’re almost on the verge of crying over the phone with their “I’ve lost everything” bollocks.

Personally, I don’t mind because its more cash for me (Just under £6k in Jan from domestic customers alone, £3k for Feb, and £3.5k for March so far). But it really isn’t rocket science to set these things up and maintain them, if only people would allocate some time and do it!

Nominated by: Technocunt

I’m not one to agree with conspiracy theories.

But I can’t help this creeping sense of dread that, while our attention is being drawn towards the alphabet soup that diversity & gender groups use, and Greta Whats-her-face, and all the other shrill voiced one thought me me me groups are saying and doing, something very nasty is happening in the other direction.

We need to be careful that we don’t take our eye of Boris et al.

Nominated by: Jessum Priest

With some second thoughts from Jessum Priest:

I was going to ask you to remove my nomination, but although I didn’t cunt a specific person/persons/action, I’m cunting us all for focusing on the small picture.

Come on, we’re better than that.

(Are we? What do you think might be going on unseen? – NA)

Digital news websites that stop you from viewing content if you’re using an adblocker

“We see that you’re using an ad blocker”

Yes that’s right. I’m sick of feeling like I just got into a lift on the 1st floor going up to the 28th and someone just farted as I got in and I have to endure their stench for the 27 floors.

I usually don’t bother with them after that and they can right royally go and fist themselves wearing a pair of “Hulk Hands”.

If any folks want to get around it by the way:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLaKbmaTI-o

Nominated by: Harold

Nope me neither but this cunt has decided that if had been born in a white skin he would have been the next chosen one or in ice hockey parlance the next Wayne Gretzky.

But no he was born with a little bit of a darker shade. No problem sport is a meritocracy at the highest level no amount of positive discrimination, nepotism, backhanders or drugs (admittedly they might help the elite) can get you a place in the starting line up. The minute it starts you get found out that you just ain’t good enough. I wanted to play basketball or be a sprinter but I can’t because I is white. I have now written to the high court demanding compensation for the loss of earnings that I would have achieved

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/ice-hockey/55813096

Only cunts like the BBC would give this bloke airtime without questioning if he was good enough. I know fuck all about ice hockey but a quick trawl for Akims career highlights on youtube gave me one goal in a compilation of other stuff by other players.

Dear admin if it’s a quiet day then you may just want to put this up….But there are so many cunts out there at the moment that I would not be surprised I that poor old Akim May never get his day in the cunting sun.

Nominated by: Cuntsince1066

Rich boy, Harvard and Oxford, career politician, gay as fuck and woke as shit. Recently appointed Secretary for Transportation by the little girl sniffer, he set off for a White House meeting last week in 2 armoured SUVs. Why two? Well, obviously one for him and his bodyguards and one for his bike!

Yes, they stop about a mile away and the Secret Service agents get his bike out the back of the car. Buttfuck emerges with his little plastic helmet, jumps on his bike and rides off for his photo opportunity. Unfortunately he was being filmed from a window in a nearby building. Lucky for Buttplug the media aren’t interested because they can’t blame it on Tangoman.

What a fucking bastard cunt!

(This was too good to not have a link and here it is – NA)

https://nypost.com/2021/04/03/pete-buttigieg-mocked-for-phony-bike-stunt/

Nominated by: Freddie the Frog