Sergey Lavrov


Sergey Lavrov, Foreign Minister of Russia.

Officially this goblin faced prick is Foreign Minister of Russia but in reality his job is a Kremlin mouthpiece to spread lies and misinformation about the Ukraine conflict and Russia’s war crimes.

Following the discovery of mass graves with evidence of torture and summary executions of civilians in Bucha and surrounding towns outside of Kiev, he said the “attacks were staged by Ukraine and the West” even suggesting the dead bodies were actors who were bussed in and the whole thing was a conspiracy to undermine Russia. I bet he had the same line of bullshit when Russia was flattening cities in Syria and Chechnya too.

https://www.telesurenglish.net/news/The-Bucha-Images-Are-a-Staging-Russian-Foreign-Minister-Holds-20220406-0009.html

Funny how this not so super superpower is always the victim?

I don’t think for a minute that Lavrov or the rest of Putin’s cronies in the Kremlin will face justice but being handed over the Ukraine military or fucked off to some penal colony where he can complain about his tiny fake cell and the prison guards who are actors inside the fake prison that doesn’t exist to nobody.

To paraphrase the great Winston Churchill, “Russia is riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a giant bullshit sandwich”.

Nominated by: Liberal Liquidator

Caitlin Jones


Caitlin Jones is a cunt.

I’m sure, by now, most cunters must think I’m obsessed with anything Greggs. You may be correct, however, there’s plenty of material out there, so I’m not looking very hard.
Caitlin, a 22 year old mum, decided during lockdown ( it’s always the case) to have the Greggs logo tattooed on her arse cheek.

Apparently, she was sooooo gutted that the fine dining outlet had shut up shop for the duration, a tattoo would somehow fill the huge void of not being able to get a sausage roll.

The funniest thing about this is the their tag line” always fresh, always tasty”. I will warn the ISAC horn section in advance, she has a rather lovely set of bangers, a nice arse, but alas, a proper cunt.

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/fabulous/8673914/caitlin-jones-greggs-tattoo-bum-scotland-paisley/amp/

Nominated by: Cuntington Smythe

Celebrity Voodoo Dolls Sales Pitch Denial


Being denied the chance to pitch my “Celebrity Voodoo Dolls” on Dragon’s Den is a Cunt.

I have been obsessionally working for minutes on an idea that I’m sure will benefit the mental well-being of the nation and earn me a modest fortune….it is,like so many brilliant ideas, actually rather simple.I take an old sock,shit in it,tie it up and stick a “celebrity” face on it…I then douse it in petrol and set it alight….at the moment the remains of my Beckham family shite-bags are smouldering gently on the lawn and you can’t imagine the pleasure I got from watching the whole revolting clan burst into flames.
I feel sure that my invention will be as popular as the printing-press or electricity…who in their right mind would turn down the chance to take out all their frustrations at the absurdity of modern life by tormenting a “celebrity”? and when my Royal Family range of dung-dolls hits the shelf….well,I’m sure you agree,the sky’s the limit.

BBC told me to “Fuck Off”…probably because I’m not a sooty tranny in a cripple chariot…I’ll give Richard Branson a call…he can always recognise a good business opportunity and I’ve actually got a Branson shit-doll already prepared so the video that I’ll pitch to him of me giggling like a Prince Andrew victim as I set fire to a truly lifelike representation of his Good Self should go down a storm.

Brace yourself for my appearance on Loose Women.

Nominated by: Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler

Lib Dems [4]


A destroyed line of Russian armour grade cutting for election signs please. The slogans they contain, specifically the Lib Dems, and the cunts that display them.

It’s local election time in DiCunty land and orange and black diamonds are popping up all over the land. Oh yes, The lib fucking dems are out and about again. Prominent in this part of the world mainly due to the now thankfully long dead ‘Paddy’ Ashdown.

‘Lib Dems – Winning Here.

Mmm, well they’ve not done so well recently and the current MP is Tory, so that’s not a true statement. There are however plenty of bellends that will vote in the locals for the sandal wearing green/red/ commie car hating EU loving anti democratic pricks.

Lib Dems – ‘Working for you’.

Sadly living in Lib dump council ward I have to say this is just bollocks. They ain’t ‘working’ for no one but themselves it seems. Grass verges like the savannah, drains blocked, hedges overgrown, local polis cut to the bone, no GPS and a constant drip drip drip approval of planning applications to build on green fields and install solar farms everywhere whilst the local towns turn into 3rd world hell holes. Still the council workers have great pension opportunities with all my tax monies.

And the best I saw today – Lib Dems ‘Demand better’.

I do, I demand that any able bodied soul grab one of these signs and the pole it’s mounted on then insert into the nearest orifice of any Lib Dem they encounter.

Any cunt that has one of these signs displayed in their garden or house window needs a date with a fucking hellfire missile fired from a reaper drone.

Nominated by: LeonardoDiCunty