*** Emergency Cunting *** for enforced quarantine costs for returning Brits.

The shower of shit who run our country have just announced a mandatory period of 10 days quarantine for Brits returning to their own country from certain other countries on a so-called ‘red list’. The UK wishing to protect itself by not inadvertently introducing more plague carriers is fair enough. What boils my piss is the returning Brits will be made to pay £1,750 for the privilege.

https://news.sky.com/story/covid-19-travellers-from-red-list-countries-will-have-to-pay-1-750-for-10-day-hotel-quarantine-12213267

So let me get this straight. British citizens, many of whom have likely done nothing wrong, will effectively be detained against their will for a period of 10 days and then be forced to pay the government for the costs of their own detention. Even fucking prisoners get free room and board for fucks sake.

Meanwhile, the unwashed, disease ridden, freeloading dinghy dwelling illegal scum continue to show up unannounced at Dover amongst other places. What happens? They get a sympathetic welcoming committee, free healthcare, free accommodation, free food, free whatever else they can get their parasitic hands on. And that seems to be OK apparently.

How about some of the taxes those returning Brits may have paid over the years be used to cover the costs of their effective imprisonment by their own government? Oh wait, there I go again thinking taxes paid by British tax payers should be used for the benefit of British people. Silly me. I forgot the UK is just a welfare state for the rest of the world. FOR FUCK’S SAKE! CUNTS!

Nominated by: Imitation Yank

(We had a similar nom for Matt Smallcock published a couple of days ago, but this one covers slightly different ground. Either way, he is still a cunt – DA)

Another week, yet another apology to James Hewitt’s brave little soldier, or the threat of another prosecution. Jim’s boy, the Prince of Snowflakes, is forever having his delicate little feelings hurt and his wife deeply upset over some piece of tittle tattle over the little prats life.

It’s the Mail Online this week:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-55888361

Nearly every day, it seems, somebody upsets the little bastard, but as he no longer lives in Britain why does he worry so much. We all have our own opinion of the little shitstain, no matter how many newspapers write cheques for him. He is a greedy grasping little cunt, no better than a ponce in a Parisian pissoir.

It is a pity any newspaper continues to give the little wanker the oxygen of publicity – for no marks like him there is only one thing worse than be written about, and that is not being written about. Let him sink to the obscurity he so richly deserves.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

I would like to cunt the word “Obviously” please.

In relation to its over use in sentences mainly by the yoof of today but I’ve noticed it in adults lately to my great concern.

An example quoted from a 18 year old lass at work.
“well I obviously said to him she shouldn’t turn up so late and as she obviously leaves work at 1 she should have been on time“

No love it is not obvious she leaves at 1 because I don’t fucking know the silly bint!!!

This word is shoehorned in everywhere and I even caught myself saying it once for which I cunted myself. Oh she’s back from lunch I wonder what other obvious shit she is going to tell us now.

Nominated by: Once a cunt always a cunt

Have you seen the TV ad? There’s some Ranjit on it that is an abomination. How does one spell Neil with this cunt? Given that he’s a Suneel/Suneil or Aniel/Aneel (I have skin in the game here. My brother both spells and pronounces his name Anil).

And then you have Joey Essex. A white cunt who is browner than me. Cultural appropriation, you fahkin’ fake cockney cun’. From a true cockney who’s braahn

Cyaant!.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3XtF9CyC-U

Nominated by: Dark key cunt

Bit of an odd one this. Burglars deserve a cunting. As some of you are probably aware, I happen to be a massive Sci-Fi fan. I take that hobby to the point that I buy models and figurines from the various shows that I like. I have an entire collection of models and figures from the OG Star Wars, Star Trek Babylon 5 and Battlestar Galactica. I also have various figures from the Marvel/DC universes, all proudly on display in my office. I have over 1000 models and figurines, and my collection is not even finished yet. A lot of them are very expensive, some are a rather more reasonably priced. I even have some antique props from the actual shows, such as a Viper pilot’s helmet from the original Battlestar Galactica and a full sized Cylon Centurion, complete with flashing red strobe light. The Piese de resistance however, is a massive 1:330 scale refit original Enterprise from the Motion Picture.

Someone, who used to be a friend decided that they would like to start a collection like mine. Except, instead of going on t’inernet to source them, he decided that he’d pay someone to steal mine. Fortunately for me, he picked someone who makes Inspector Clouseau look a genious. I easily caught this prick at 3am this morning, trying to unlock the door to my office, which has quite an expensive security system. The windows are all two small for anyone who isn’t three years to get in.

I don’t sleep very well, so after hearing the sounds of someone moving around downstairs, and finding this chump trying to jemmy my office door open. He pulled a knife and a scuffled ensued, during which he found out why it’s a bad idea to try to fight an angry 6’5″ former army commando. Plod were called, who turned up surprising quickly and arrested the little shit. Questioning later revealed that he’d been offered £50 by said ex-friend to steal as much of my collection as he could, including the vintage helmet.

Needless to say, he and I are no longer friends, and never will be again. None of our mutual friends are in a hurry to forgive him either. This guy knew full well that most of my models are fairly cheap to acquire. He knew where he could acquire them. And he could easily afford them. So why did he decide to try to steal my stuff instead? What a cunt.

Update: Ex-friend has been arrested and admitted to the offence. He claims he was drunk at the time he offered incompetent Raffles the 50 quid to break into my house. I’m also looking around for a better security system, because for I what I paid, I would expect it to do its fucking job and keep thieving cunts OUT of my house.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw