Enforced Quarantine Costs

*** Emergency Cunting *** for enforced quarantine costs for returning Brits.

The shower of shit who run our country have just announced a mandatory period of 10 days quarantine for Brits returning to their own country from certain other countries on a so-called ‘red list’. The UK wishing to protect itself by not inadvertently introducing more plague carriers is fair enough. What boils my piss is the returning Brits will be made to pay £1,750 for the privilege.


So let me get this straight. British citizens, many of whom have likely done nothing wrong, will effectively be detained against their will for a period of 10 days and then be forced to pay the government for the costs of their own detention. Even fucking prisoners get free room and board for fucks sake.

Meanwhile, the unwashed, disease ridden, freeloading dinghy dwelling illegal scum continue to show up unannounced at Dover amongst other places. What happens? They get a sympathetic welcoming committee, free healthcare, free accommodation, free food, free whatever else they can get their parasitic hands on. And that seems to be OK apparently.

How about some of the taxes those returning Brits may have paid over the years be used to cover the costs of their effective imprisonment by their own government? Oh wait, there I go again thinking taxes paid by British tax payers should be used for the benefit of British people. Silly me. I forgot the UK is just a welfare state for the rest of the world. FOR FUCK’S SAKE! CUNTS!

Nominated by: Imitation Yank

(We had a similar nom for Matt Smallcock published a couple of days ago, but this one covers slightly different ground. Either way, he is still a cunt – DA)

36 thoughts on “Enforced Quarantine Costs

  1. We are in the middle of a global pandemic and people have been told not to travel therefore I have no sympathy for them.

    Why should I be expected to pay for some selfish cunt to quarantine because they wanted a cheap holiday abroad.

    I know some twat who went on holiday to the caribbean under the pretence of a business trip so he could circumvent the rules, even going so far as to set-up a website for said ‘business’.

    • Yep! Let the punishment fit the crime and a travel lodge seems a just punishment, preferably one north of the Watford gap 😁 Boohoo.

      • The idiom, which roughly means “anything north of Greater London”, is “North of Watford”. Watford Gap is a service station on the M1 considerably further away from London than the town of Watford, which is actually pretty near London. Watford Gap is essentially too far away from London for the idiomatic meaning to work.

        As an aside, Roy Harper caused a bit of a stir with his satire of Watford Gap services in his 1977 album “Bullinamingvase”

        🎶 Watford Gap, Watford Gap / A plate of grease and a load of crap…

        which was quite amusing and pretty perceptive; the service station was indeed notorious for its shit food in the 1970s.

        Nevertheless, the expression you wanted is “north of Watford”. Are you by any chance a chap from the north of America with an overdeveloped knowledge of the UK, Coolforcunts? Perhaps you used to work here for a while?

      • Fascinating and Noted 👍

        I thought I made a polite request that you change your username? If you had of done it would’ve so much suited that last reply 😉

      • Ps,

        The “Watford Gap” as a point on the dividing line between “north” and “south” based on the apparent progress of Viking settlement.

        Derp 🤫

      • The term “Watford Gap” goes much further back than a Roy Harper song. Watford Gap is a geographic and cultural reality that can be traced back to the Viking age.

      • Indeed so, and much more interesting history about the nuances of the etiology of Watford Gap besides… but the idiom is still “north of Watford”, not “north of Watford Gap”.

      • No CS, it’s exactly what I say it is, as always 😎

        Yip yip yip yip yip 🐩 🐩 🐩


  2. France isn’t on the red list of countries from which quarantine is required.

    I am sure that is so that the illegal dinghy rats don’t get punished when they land in the UK. They will be taken straight to four-star hotels, taxpayer-funded of course, whilst decent, hard-working Britons will have to pay £1,750 and then pay for these illegal parasites, scavengers and scroungers through their taxes.

    Matt Hancock (Hancunt?) should dip his little willy in Katie Price’s dirty massive cunt.

  3. We need more details on the quarantine procedures. Will you need a tattoo if you are going to be held in quarantine? Will you be shafted up the arse by big black geezers or white supremacists? If someone tries to escape, will there be a lockdown within the lockdown? Who be the Governor? Will it be Claudia Winkleman?

  4. It’s these Instagram “influencers” that get on my nerves. Declaring that their work is “essential” and therefore justifies them to fuck off to Dubai to do “essential work” on the beach, in the bars and on the beaches again!

    Then they seem to think that they should be exempt from taking PCR tests, and shouldn’t have to self-isolate for 10 days back in the UK, but should be a priority for the vaccine because they are “essential workers” plugging freebies from desperate companies.

    They would go into meltdown if they had to spend 10 days quarantine in a hotel at their expense. They’d be on howling social media “traumatised” and “distraught”…. and then get their virtual begging bowl out, more commonly known as “GoFundMe” and expect their stupid followers to throw a few grand their way to get over the fucking shock!


  5. Just asking if anybody thinks ‘slebs’ and politicians will also be isolated in a 3 star travelodge for their quarantine?
    Will they bollocks.
    Why go overseas for your holidays, keep the money here, fucking dago’s and bubble’s can stick it up their olives.

    • Never going to happen is it (slebs and the elite following the rules for plebs).

      The news of a Scottish MP travelling the length of the country in a train spreading the bat flu around, and of Ryvita Orange (or whatever her fucking name is) having a private party in a restaurant are stuck in my brain. Then, when the fuckwit Hancock or whoever, started wittering on about gaol sentences for making a spelling mistake on an immigration card, I thought, yes, that’s the answer to these celebrity cunts. Gaol the fuckers instead of going for their loose change (which is what £10k is to these cunts). Not going to happen though is it (they don’t even get fined). These cunts are fire proof (and covid proof as well by the seem of it – why couldn’t the chinks have engineered a virus that only kills slebs and MPs – can’t be that difficult surely?!)

  6. No sympathy from me.
    Knowing the full panto going on who the fuck would want to go anywhere?

    Our Border Farce are only good for harassing holidaymakers at the best of times,the miserable cunts.

    Why anyone would want to endure all the bullshit for a holiday us beyond me.
    Put the cunts in tents next to the vermin we shoo in every day from Africa.
    Then napalm the fucking lot.

  7. Rumours suggest that in the near future if you haven’t had the jab you won’t be able to get on a plane, or a train, or a bus, or go to a pub or restaurant.
    I won’t be taking up the Government’s offer of the vaccine so to circumvent these rules I intend to identify as someone who has been vaccinated.
    Isn’t that how it works….

  8. Bet someone in government is creaming off top of the £1750.

    175 a night to stop in a Travelodge that’s probably 40 a night usually.

    • Heston Travelodge is £280 for 10 nights*, are the plagued getting roast swan and topless maids?
      Haha, as if anyone is going to pay £1750.

      * Taking the zero off the end would be a fairer price, I’ve been there, it’s not called the ‘suicide suites’ for nothing.

      • Life has a strange habit of imitating art. How long, do you think it will be, before we get Futurama style suicide booths? BT could repurpose their old telephone boxes. Give them a smart lick of paint, instead of letting them rot away, and fit some nifty coin operated internal mechanisms to spray you with Prussic acid. Activate a timer after the spray has deployed and open a hatch into the floor to drop the corpse into a nitric acid vat. MacDonalds could visit every week to drain the fat out and use it to fry their chips in. Nice and eco friendly (if the Green Party is reading this I want commission on this idea).

    • Fuck em.
      Fools and their money easily parted.
      Pandemic or not id only holiday in the British isles,
      I hate foreigners, hot weather, and foreign muck food.
      Go Thomas Cook yourself 🖕

      • What, don’t you think good old Ryanair will give refunds for the plebianos who were sucked in by their bright and cheery TV ad?

        O’Leary is a money grubbing Oirish cunt. Ah feck and bejesus. But the bigger cunts were those sucked in by this.

      • On return inject them with Jeyes* and throw them in the Covid Tank** for a month.

        * Other disinfectants are available.
        ** Requisitioned drunk tanks.

  9. I have essential work to do in Fuerteventura. However, I use East Midlands airport and refuse to stay at the dreadful Jurys Inn. Once was enough.
    I am setting up a Cuntfunding site so that I can stay in the style in which I would like to be accustomed. Chatsworth House perhaps.
    Give until it hurts.

  10. What a load of shit. Wtf are they worried about? Bringing a virus into the country where it’s already endemic? Variants might be brought in. So fucking what? The south African variant has appeared here by mutation not by being brought in. It’s like punishing someone for taking a box of matches into a burning building.
    Nothing these cunts do makes sense. The calibre of people running this country is so low it’s terrifying.

    • “It’s like punishing someone for taking a box of matches into a burning building.“

      That’s exactly what it’s like. Spot on analogy.

      This fuckwit government couldn’t run a bath. Other analogies are made comparing Covid to WW2 (it is a sort of germ warfare, I guess, allowing the chinks to advance plans to take over the world economy). Would Churchill have put Hitler on notice that England was considering stopping him invading countries in a couple of weeks time so he’d better get a wriggle on?

  11. You can complain about the rules in England but the Scottish Nazi party has decided that everyone flying into Scotland will have to go into a hotel, which is fine because no fucker is flying into Scotland 😂

    The red list countries are mainly Africa and South America so fuck them.

  12. A year of being open to the world and now they pull this?
    I am convinced the current shower of shit alleging to be politicians are the most piss useless bunch of dictatorial morons I have ever known.

  13. I have no sympathy what so ever for these cunts who won’t do as they are told when it comes to traveling abroad, can’t get home, your problem mother fucked, can’t afford the £1700 hotel bill for quarantining after you cheap and nasty holiday to Toramalinos, your problem zero fucks given, sort it out yourselves you knew it was a risk before you went….get fucked cunts, it’s because of these cunts Covid is still a problem……cunts

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