A nomination for Steve Wright’s replacement on Radio 2, Scott Mills.

I’ve had the misfortune of hearing the bleatings of this BBC android before.
Than man is without any discernible personality, much like those other grinning smug cunts Greg James and Rick Edwards. His playlists are for the basic mongs who follow every fashionable opinion or shit slang; In the space of ten minutes I was subjected to Coldplay, Britney Spears and tuneless chav shite Swedish House Mafia, while this grinning weasel laboured over a feature about listeners’ most out-of-date cultural references (or, what a person with a reading age above 12 might label anachronisms). The mirth!

Steve Wright was an obese, unfunny, dated cunt who would’ve burst live on air if he hadn’t been moved on, but at least he wasn’t a camp robot or dimwitted former ladette who left her charm and wit in a nightclub in 1997.

That’s all you hear now on radio 2, the nation’s most boring hen party.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime.

I’m Sparticus, no I’m Sparticus, no I’m…

There have been several items in the papers recently, about people claiming to be the unfortunate Madeleine McCann.
This one is taking it to a new level.
Not only is she claiming to be Madeleine ( why is the DNA test taking so long?), but she’s now claiming to have been force-fed random drug/pills/Smarties?
Did the interest rating in her story fall below 7?

Lbc

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

wasn’t this useless cunt supposed.to be financially and morally bankrupt.
How is this plastic pig getting away with all this crap bearing in mind how much and how many so owes money to.

This is just taking the piss, month long holidays, crazy surgeries etc.
we really hope her debtors who are many are not the type to want to see her in a wheel chair…oh hang on, maybe it would do her good

Daily Star
Nominated by Fuglyucker.

I’d like to nominate Ben fucking Goldsmith for a what-the-fuck-are-you-talking -about-you-old-money-globalist-cunt cunting please.

Ben fucking Goldsmith doesn’t like sheep and says they’ve got to go.

Presumably he doesn’t like the people who rely on them for their livelihoods either and thinks they should go also? Sheep are preventing the natural regeneration of the National Parks Ben Fucking Goldsmith says………. Really? Does this silver spoon cunt whos married to a Rothschild have any idea what the Peaks , the Dales, Dartmoor, Exmoor or The Lakes would look like if grazing was halted?? The fucking sheep have been grazing the National Parks for centuries. Since before the land was designated National Parks in fact. The landscapes every do-gooding eco cunt cooos over would end up looking like Terry Waites allotment in a few years.

This cunt has form already. Sat on the Board at DEFRA and used his influence to inflict fucking beavers on us. I live in a managed wetland you ivory tower cunt, the last thing I want is fucking beavers flooding me out of my shit hole hovel.

Ben fucking Goldsmith is the sort of eco loon nobody needs. He’s a tory that funds the Green party. Pick the bones out of that if you can. I can’t. What the fuck is going on. Nurse, 8000mg of the strongest shit you’ve got straight in my jugular please and make it fucking snappy will you?

Daily Fail

Nominated by Cunter S Thompson.

Once again the Welsh lead.

‘Festival considers changing motto over fears it may be seen as racist’

The motto in question? :-

“Byd gwyn fydd byd a gano. Gwaraidd fydd ei gerddi fo,” is from a verse by the poet T Gwynn Jones meaning “Blessed is a world that sings. Gentle are its songs.”

Yes, once again the Welsh lead. This internationally renowned festival, where sometimes as many as 11 people attend has realised that it may cause offence.

To some fucker.

The problem, recently realised, is that gwyn means blessed but is Welsh for “white”, too.

Makes me feel proud.

The Telegraph

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble.