We seem to be in another crisis, folks. It hit the stage in September 2022 and to this day, the cunt is still abusing UK households on a daily basis.

The advert is for 3 communications and is branded as : “life needs a big network.”

At first, this advert was just annoying. The stupid Wallace and gromit-esque gormless cunts expressions, his lispy weak chinned pronunciation, and the frequency of the advert. Nothing sinister just really annoying, but it will be OK: persevere and it will fuck off and be replaced by a more annoying advert 3 months later.

Fast forward to May and we have nearly had 3 financial quarters of this bullshit. Over the last 2 weeks I can’t escape the Gravlax cunt. I get him 3 times a day, across the TV, iCunt and mobile phone. It’s almost like I am being forced to have a homoerotic relationship with Mr Gravlax.

However, watching it under a different lens and I found another issue with it.

It’s the lack of ambition and aspirations that his mixed race in laws have… You know the score. Stupid honkey cannot order anything other than burger, chips and beans.

The 2 cunts are so impressed that he orders the Gravlax with such a solid conviction. Fantastic, now I’ve ordered a salmon dish, I’m good enough to bang your daughter… Cheers.

And of course they are right to question his lazy privileged honkey ways: the daft cunt doesn’t have a fucking clue what Gravlax is, and 3 has to step in and save him from his privilege colonising background.

I won’t let this get to me anymore… Now where did I put the lemon rind, white peppercorn and freshly picked dill sprigs…

Youtube

Nominated by Cunt Executive Officer. A refreshingly original cunting CEO, C.A.

 

A fucking huge, does my arse look big in this cunting for these stupid looking leggings and the women wear them when posing, sorry training down the local gym waiting for blokes to notice them [ but only blokes they like otherwise they are considered p-verts].

So bear in mind these days half the time tits, arses, teeth, muscles [if your into that, I’m not]hair and even teeth are fake.

So finding one of these cut and shut bitches is like buying a Mondeo at the auction, its a bitza [bits of this bits of that] and what you have underneath is a well used, high mileage worn out old wreck with a lot of filler, history and a sloppy box.
Honestly it is like polishing a cow at the cattle market, get it home and what you have is totally different from when you went shopping, if your really unlucky you will get a bloke.

Fab fit

Nominated by Fuglyucker. It’s your cunting Sir but from the pictures I’ve seen I’m not sure why? C.A.

“ADHD affects black women” – ‘it’s time our stories were told’

It seems that a largely imaginary condition is also racist.
Apparently there isn’t enough diversity in ADHD documentaries.

What a country we live in.

It’s a fucking disgrace.

Msn.com

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble.

An emergency whoops-duckie, whose after my seat? cunting for this elderly, lump-wristed old queen, who sits on his well used arse every weekday morning, being one of the girls in a show described as “the crown jewel” of daytime TV (This Morning), which if true, shows how shit daytime TV is.

This old uphill gardeners has been taking over the tabloids for the best part of the week – it seems he and his fellow lady presenter have been hitting each other with their handbags (metaphorically) in recent weeks – just an ordinary girly squabble but this powdered old drama queen has taken it further and has now apparently consulted a lawyer AND a PR man – I hope the latter remind him you can’t polish a turd.

He has had a long career, mincing round gushing at “celebrities” and womens fashion, time now for a younger poof to take over. Phil, nobody loves a fairy when he’s forty. Remember that.

Metro

Nominated by W. C. Boggs.

More on this self confessed liar below from Chuff Chugger

If think the point of this additional cunting, that it has since come to light in the last few days (a few days AFTER he said he would be standing down, which joe public assumed to be because of his family connection to his kiddie fiddler brother…and the historical issues with him denying he was gay, then admitted he was and then admitted he had been having secret gay sex whilst also sleeping with his wife…and the rift which this brought on between him and Willoughby)

Well, that’s what I thought..but that now clearly isn’t the case…on top of all that it has transpired he was ALSO having an on off affair with a junior male work colleague…which he had previously denied. And I suspect this was what the rift was all about and the straw that broke the camels back. Making him more of a cunt than previously reported in an earlier nom of the same week.

Bbc news

Cunters be aware to avoid words that will put you into they spam bucket on this nom also stay the right side of legality C.A.

News from across the Channel, cunters. As we all know, our Gallic neighbours can always be relied upon to provide much entertainment by rioting and setting Paris ablaze, at which point the CRS wade in and crack lots of skulls. Great fun to watch.

Step forward one Victor Immordino with a street protest of his own. Victor teaches English at a school in Paris and he gave his students prior warning of what was going to be in their baccalaureate exam. Unfortunately the school changed the questions at the last minute and, quelle surprise, the kids all failed. ‘Catastrophic’ was Victor’s response, who then took the 63 papers outside, tore them up and set them alight as a protest against ‘the system’. The pupils had studied English for 7 years and could barely string 2 English words together, he complained. A strange coincidence, because most school leavers in this country can barely string 2 English words together either, but I digress.

What is really bizarre is that almost all the YouTube comments support him – it’s all the fault of ‘the system’. It has, of course, nothing to do with the fact that Victor is a fucking useless teacher, he tried to cheat and he got caught out.

Sadly it seems that Victor has foie gras for brains, because Inspector Clouseau takes a dim view of this kind of thing and he could be looking at a ten year stretch. I don’t know about setting exam papers on fire, Victor, but after a couple of weeks in the slammer your bum hole is going to feel like it’s on fire.

Ooh la la!

Youtube

the news.com

Nominated by Geordie Twatt.