Ever get those irritating emails whereby your bank, building society, internet browser, ISP or in fact anyone you do business with online want to inform you that they’re changing the T&Cs in your account, or they’re updating your product, or changing you private information. Or worse still they’ve decided to completely update their website/app so that you’ve got relearn everything that took you a fucking age to get used to first time round!

And the more apps/websites you sign up to the more of these annoying emails and popups you have to deal with, which often includes reading pages of bollocks that make little or no sense and when you think about it probably makes no odds to you anyway.

I wouldn’t mind if it was once or twice a year, but some cunts like Google or Wankbook do this anything up to 5 or 6 times a year, especially Facebook, who seem to look overengineering their website to include new feature or reinvent old ones and move things around to the extent where you don’t know where the fuck you are!

Personally I’d be inclined to email these cunts back with a “I’m updating my thoughts about you. Fuck off and die!”

Nominated by Technocunt.

 
My daughter recently loaned us her dvd of the film ‘Knives Out’, and last night I opened a bottle of wine and the wife and I sat down to watch it.

All was going along quite swimmingly until we arrived at what seems to be that all too common moment in film; namely, when one of the characters barfs all over the place.

Now admittedly the hurl in ‘Knives Out’ wasn’t too graphic, but it was an illustration of just how much of a film-making trope this has become over the years. Say you’re making a crass comedy; a gross out vomit scene seems to be de rigeur. Equally if you’re making a tense drama or thriller, say where the protaganist finds a corpse, then it’s likely that he or she will then stumble outside and proceed to puke against the nearest wall. Graphically.

I loathe clichés in films, and heaven knows there are enough of them, but this one above all really gets my goat. It’s all about intended shock value, but it’s been overused to such an extent that it’s lost all its capacity for real effect, and is now just another example of lazy film-making in action.

Here’s ‘Team America’ lampooning the on-screen barf brilliantly;

Honestly I wish that producers and directors would just take the hint. Seeing actors fake throwing up in a film just ain’t my idea of fun. Enough’s enough.

Youtube

Nominated by Ron Knee.

are cunts.

The chancer who visits our street claims to be a window cleaner. He is not. He is a bloke with a hose with a crap telescopic brush attached. No ladder, no bucket and rag, no bicycle and no fucking attention to detail.

The lazy cunt sprays water about for about a minute and a half, most of which goes all over the place and some of which hits to door so it runs all over the hall carpet when I open the door to pay him. £7.00 for less than two minute’s work. On £200 an hour he must live in a fucking palace with servants to carry him around on a fucking litter on his days off.

George Formby would be fucking embarrassed. Even Mr Wu and his ‘worn-out ladies blouses’ would be an improvement.

Youtube

Nominated by Twenty Thousand Cunts Under the Sea.

 
If WIki is to be believed, the original Stone Age began some 3 million years ago with archaeologists finding evidence of stonework tools made for hunting, cutting and calving.

It was basically a period lasting to around 2000BC whereby people lived in caves, had to light fires made of logs and branches; forage for food, grunt at each other because no one knew how to talk correctly; and they all lived in abject poverty and fear.

Their only form of transport was usually by foot or perhaps horse (despite going back 3 million years this was way after the extinction of the dinosaurs 60 odd million years earlier).

Stone Age people had pretty short lifespans of around 35-45 years at most; dental records suggest they had poor health and were riddled with disease.

There was no trade or bartering back then. No money existed. You simply had to get what you wanted by fair means or foul.

There was no police service either. You just had to fend for yourself and hope for the best that you didn’t get stabbed by a neighbouring tribe or pissed-off rival.

There were tribal leaders of course. But they knew jack shit about anything, and only got to their position of power either through being the strongest or offering bribes in the form of sharing food or wives.

Apart from fires there was no other form of warmth during those cold winter months. You just had to wrap yourselves with as many animal pelts as you could find or die of hyperthermia.

Just forward almost 4 million years, and you’ll see some similar comparisons going on given the way the woke eco-nutjobs are slowing pushing western civilisation back to the Stone Age with their insistence that we (not them) need to make huge sacrifices in order to save the planet for a few more years!

This transition won’t happen overnight, but its happening. Talk of 2030 and 2050 are common, and it makes one wonder if British citizens really will be sampling life more or less in their own little caves, with minimal heating, no meat-eating, no police, no NHS, no genders and a complete lack of how to talk other than by grunting or texting.

I fear for future generations because if left unchecked ordinary people will be living the life of Fred fucking Flintstone.

YabbaDabbaFuckThat!

wiki

Nomiated by Technocunt.

 
I am lost for words. I don’t really need to write a huge amount on this nom, as I am pretty convinced it is a shoo in for fellow cunters.

I am sure there are a load of cunts sitting in a room somewhere thinking up cuntish iideas as to how far they can take the piss out of the rest of the population.

If this isn’t addressed and cancelled then we are fucked in future to say or do anything for fear of upsetting someone.

Just read 1984 and big brother seems to be winning in this country.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Chuff Chugger.