Waitrose has apologised after it was suggested that one of their Easter confectionery products may be racist. Waitrose have a trio of chocolate ducklings on sale, a milk chocolate, white chocolate and dark chocolate duckling shaped treat. The dark chocolate duckling was labelled as the ‘ugly’ duckling, this caused a few shoppers (white snowflake cunts obviously) to complain on Twitter. Waitrose have apologised and changed the names.

We’re never going to get anywhere if this shit keeps happening. You literally can’t say a thing now without some cunt being offended. I chose Waitrose for the cunting and not the snowflake Twitter warriors because giving in to these arseholes is much worse in my book than actually being the dick who somehow is offended, even though they have no right to be, being that they have white skin. I actually think these snowflake cunts are racist and it’s some kind of reverse psychology, a bit like the old adage of when someone says, “I can’t be racist, I have loads of black friends”. Just fuck off and let us eat our chocolate ducks in peace.

Nominated by elboobio

Replacement Bus services are cunts, aren’t they.
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Careers Officer:What do you want to be when you grow up, Graham?

cuntrag: I want to be a Replacement Bus Driver.

Careers Officer: Goodness, why?

cuntrag: Well, because I’m an angry, premature-balding oaf, unconcerned by conscientious work and awkward in social situations. Moreover, because I’m an indolent, overweight moron I’m going to fail all my exams further adding to my hatred of people despite their purchasing of a valid ticket.

Careers Officer: But, do you want to work unsociable hours, late into the night as well as at the weekend?

cuntrag: Certainly not but this, ironically, will enlarge the chip on my shoulder.

Careers Officer: You’ll have to become an expert driver to safely transport all those travellers who’ve been terribly inconvenienced.

cuntrag: Any decent, qualified driver would gain a prestigious, well-compensated driving position. I aim to fill the bus with a toxic diesel smell then change gears as much as possible whilst not turning on the heating system in Winter and blasting it out in Summer. I also intend to drive past replacement bus stops without stopping and, when challenged, reply that they hadn’t rung the bell.

Careers Officer: Well, you’re hideously obese, you smell like you haven’t wiped, and you sound like a contemptible, bloody-minded, bitter cunt. It’s the dream job.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Butchers who try to rip you off when you buy a couple of slices of Gala pie are Cunts.

I was up on the Scotch side today and stopped at a small, award-winning, family butchers. I asked for a couple of rump steaks,some Lorne sausage,black pudding and burgers. It certainly wasn’t cheap,but looked good. As she was bagging it up,I got my eye on some Gala pie and asked for a couple of slices, she lifted the loaf down and cut a couple of slices with her back to me and wrapped them up…but,unfortunately for her, I’d seen that she’d used the crusty end bit as one of my slices. When she put the wrapped package on the counter and asked for the money, I unwrapped it in front of her,and poked at the crusty slice….

“I don’t want that,it’s got no egg and is mostly fucking pastry”
“Oh, I didn’t realise…a lot of our regulars like the end-bit”
“Well, I fucking don’t…especially at your prices.”

The old shrew pulled that disapproving,pinched face that only a true Scottish woman can manage,sighed loudly,and sliced a fresh slice….Fair enough.

As I was driving back,it just reminded me of when I worked down in the Lake District in the eighties. Some of the pubs operated two price lists, one for locals and one for tourists. Didn’t really bother us because they knew that we weren’t tourists and they made good money anyhow out of a dozen big drinkers coming in most nights for a meal and a sup,but I’d occasionally hear strangers questioning the prices that they were being charged when they heard what a “local” was paying compared to what they’d paid….must admit, if they’d tried it on with me,I’d have played Holy Fuck,but most tourists just meekly accepted it.

It also minded me of the dark-skinned shopkeeper who tried to give me change for a tenner when I knew that I’d given him a twenty. As soon as I saw what he’d given me, I said “How…ye”,before I said another word he gave me the missing tenner. He knew exactly what he’d done, cheating Cunt.

Fuck Off.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

HERPES.COM

Had an email today from this delivery company about tracking an order I’d made. Now, I don’t know about you, but I get very nervous when I receive an email from Hermes or Yodel saying they are going to deliver my item. All sorts of things go through your mind – will the beggars pretend to have been to the house, will they leave the item with next door’s dog or will they throw it over my fence, shattering my new 50 inch 4K ultra HD tv? This email gave me a tracking number of
0533685244112078. WTF! By the time I’d finished entering the number, I could hear the sound of my tv crashing over the fence. Herpes.com is a real cunt.

Nominated by Bluntspeakingcunt

The Medical Practitioners Tribunal Service (MPTS) is a cunt

Read the below and weep, imagine takinng your kid to the hospital and this cunt shows up? Gross negligence? Struck off after letting a 6 year old kid die?

No problem, we need more doctors and especially negligent cunts like this fucker. Come on for fuck sake, negligence is a character flaw, it can’t be fixed, these cunts have probably sentenced another poor fucker to death.

“A doctor convicted over the death of a six-year-old boy can return to work, a medical tribunal has ruled.

In 2015, Dr Hadiza Bawa-Garba was found guilty of gross negligence manslaughter over the death of Jack Adcock.

The Medical Practitioners Tribunal Service (MPTS) has now ruled Dr Bawa-Garba can return to work, but only under close supervision.

The doctor will resume work – although at a lower grade than she was previously employed at – once she returns from maternity leave in February 2020.

Tribunal chairwoman Claire Sharp said the chance of Dr Bawa-Garba putting another patient at unwarranted risk of harm was low and she had undertaken a “significant” amount of remediation.

However, the tribunal found the doctor’s fitness to practise was “impaired” as she had not had face-to-face contact with patients since 2015.”

Nominated by Sixdog Vomit