Halloween….

Yes that fucking “celebration” where stupid little cunts dress up as ugly fucking witches and gargoyles (or just wear Flabbott face-masks for the same effect), and go around people’s homes trick or treating!

The problem with this shit is that it has become Americanised over the years, so every cunt now has to have a massive candle-lit pumpkin in the front window, and the kids have to be fully kitted out in a witch’s costume in order to have any street cred.

Moreover, these cunts that come-a-knocking carry around big buckets, expecting you to load it up with chocolate bars (not just the odd Fox’s Glacier Mint, but fucking Kit Kats, Twix’s, Twirls and shitloads more) and if you don’t deliver, expect a brick through your window, a keyed car door, or paint splattered all over your garden.

But you tell these kids to go fuck themselves, and they go blubbing to social media and then their parents (in that order,) and scream child abuse!

Oh, and these cunts really should check their calendar – Halloween is the 31st October, and not 2 weeks before!

Cunts.

Nominated by Technocunt

A Rob Walker, stentorian-toned (with music and full audience participation) cunting please for super snooker diva, Ronnie O’Sullivan.

I know to cunt Ronnie would be to the most ardent snooker fan the equivalent of blaspheming in front of the Archbishop of Canterbury and there is no doubt O’Sullivan is one of the game’s greats, but frankly some of the glitter is now coming off the star, but the more problematic his wins become, the bigger his mouth gets:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/snooker/50053875

At 41, Ronnie is not the player he was ten years ago, but his way of staying on top is straight out of the ‘Norma Desmond’ school (“I’m still big, it’s the pictures that got small”) – make yourself big by making everyone else feel small, denigrate your fellow players (as he does in that article though the 105th ranked player came close to knocking the great man out), intimidate your opponent by sitting there picking your nails, rubbing your nose, screwing your face up and looking intimidating and glaring, while the other bloke is at the table. Swagger round the table as your adoring audience lap it up, cheering and clapping. Enjoy the glad-handing of the commentators who think the sun shines out of his arsehole.

When things don’t go his way, (that is when he doesn’t win every frame with at least 147,) he whinges like an old woman. He will have tantrums like a five year old. His biggest threat, (or promise,) is to retire, and has been for the past ten years.

Please Ron do it, don’t just say it, and shut the fuck up.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

I would like a full on, attention seeking cunting for Charlotte Church.

This silly gobshite is obviously trying for some sort of comeback due to the fact the moon-faced muppet is on the telly in the news, promoting her new snooze fest where she pretends to love her family, say shit like fame ruined my family, my step dad only has six months to live and the classic, “I’ve made some bad choices in life”, anything to get back into the limelight. No, you silly bitch. It’s more like fame made you a cunt who wouldn’t listen to reason, all the bad choices including that silly, orange cunt Gavin Henson were all down to you and your belief in your own self-importance. Well get this.. nobody fucking cares what you do. You are a has been that fucked it all up; surely you made enough money to just stay gone. Next it will be a book like Lily, the musical mong.

Give it a rest and try and hang on to a little dignity, you silly, spoiled, adult brat….

Nominated by fuglyucker

A vocodered and auto-tuned cunting please for musical cuntlord, Pharrell Williams.

For those fortunate enough to be blissfully unaware, this cunt is responsible for the infuriating corporate staple song ‘Happy’. Fuck off if you expect me to post a link to that pile of simpering vocal wank. I still have night terrors after seeing BBCunts Clare Balding and Bill Turnbull jive out to this during a segment for the 2014 Winter Olympics.

Pharrell Williams is already a cunt of significant standing due to i) being a ‘rapper’, ii) being one of the public faces of Killary’s 2016 prez bid, and iii) being musically involved with some of the biggest cunts on the planet. But this wankstain upon life’s rich tapestry has gone even deeper into the fabric by suddenly denouncing his collaborated shite ‘Blurred Lines’, which he performed with one-hit wonder and suspected closet sex offender, Robin Thicke.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-50052155

Williams and the Thicke cunt trousered tens of millions on sales of Blurred Lines, thanks of course to the mornonic modern music masses happy to rock out to lyrics which glorified sexual assault laid over a fucking biscuit-tin beat. Yet we now see Williams in this post-#MeToo, virtue-signalling landscape publicly shaming himself for releasing the shit known as ‘Blurred Lines’ for online backpats and a pre-emptive adjusting of his liberal social standing. Lest history forget that this born-again ‘liberal’ cunt is the fuck-faced fucker who has built his entire fortune on charting highbrow, Aristotelian concepts such as ‘hoes’, ‘bitches’ and ‘fuckjars’.

Will the fucking cretin make a meaningful gesture, like donate the millions of dollars he earned in royalties from Blurred Lines to some wimminz charity? Of course not.

Williams says that he is ’embarrassed’ by the ‘misogyny’ of the lyrics in the song. Perhaps he should be more embarrassed that he wrote such turgid shite, in addition to the embarrassment of that crock o’faeces was proven in court to have ripped off elements of Marvin Gaye’s material.

There is a special place in hell for spineless, talentless cunts like this (see also: Will.I.Am). And I would happily spend a busman’s eternity down there myself, if it meant I could forevermore shovel the white-hot coals for Beelzebub himself to adorn upon the scrotums of high-ranking cunts like Pharrell Williams.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

Roosevelt Rappley and his dipshit family need a cunting.

Now, I know that none of you will have the first clue who this now deceased member of the shallow end of the gene pool is, so allow me to enlighten you. Rappley was a lowlife who inhabited Montgomery county in Maryland, Philadelphia. Recently, Roosevelt decided to go to his local Dollar Store and rob it. In he went, waving his gun about, threatening staff and customers alike and demanding money from the till. Unfortunately for him, one of the store clerks was carrying a legally held firearm, which he promptly drew and ended Rappley’s crime spree before it had a chance to become more violent. Obviously, Rappley’s association with life also came to an end.

Police were called, decided the store clerk had acted in self defence and that, as far as the law was concerned, was the end of it. For Rappley’s family however, not so much. Two of his TEN siblings went on TV to complain that the clerk’s ending of their brother’s criminal activity was excessive and unjustified. They think the store clerk shouldn’t have been carrying a gun in the first place. I should point out here, that we’re not dealing with a stand up family. Roosevelt is the second sibling in his family to have been shot dead.

They actually had the audacity to claim that although their brother was PARTLY to blame for the incident, he wasn’t ENTIRELY to blame. Really? Well, let’s take a look at it shall we. He woke up that fateful morning and decided that, being short of money, he would go and get some. Unlike normal people however, he didn’t decide to do that by going to an ATM or earning it by working. He decided to get money by threatening staff and customers at a local store and attempting to steal it. That was HIS decision. HE chose the store that he was going to rob. HE decided to carry a gun into that store and threaten innocent people with it. The clerk on the hand DID NOT wake up that morning and think to himself, “I think I’ll shoot someone dead today”. He was FORCED into taking that action, by a moron, who was carrying a loaded firearm, and was presumably willing to use it. So, the blame for Roosevelt’s life coming to an end at the age of 23, rests entirely with Roosevelt Rappley himself. If he hadn’t gone into that store, waving a gun about, he wouldn’t be dead. Thanks to his stupidity and lack of regard for others and lack of work ethic, he is now an ex-person.

To normal people, Roosevelt Rappley is entirely to blame for what happened to him. To his idiot family, the clerk is to blame. Because although their brother tried to rob the place at gunpoint, and gave every impression that he was willing to use his firearm, the clerk was wrong to draw his own piece on him and shoot him, thereby saving the lives of his colleagues and the customers. To Rappley’s family, fuck the store workers, fuck the customers. Their brother is dead, and it’s the clerk’s fault. I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried to sue.

This is why I despise criminals and their families so much. They have a chronic, possibly genetic, inability to take responsibility for their actions. Burglar gets caught robbing someone’s house? It’s not his fault he caught, it’s the fault of the police for catching him. Criminal gets killed in the commission of a crime? Not his fault. The family blame everyone but the actual culprit. We are ALL responsible for actions. In Roosevelt Rappley’s case, it’s HIS fault that he chose to try to rob a store that happened to employ a man who was allowed by law to carry a firearm (although, granted, he couldn’t have known that). And it’s Rappley’s fault that he is now pushing up daisies. Had he been an honest, decent, law abiding man, he would still be alive. But he wasn’t. And he isn’t.

So, the Rappley family. What a bunch of cunts.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw